sputnik: — 𝑺𝑷𝑼𝑻𝑵𝑰𝑲 (ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɪᴛ's ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ʟᴀsᴛ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ)
ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴀɴᴅᴇʀ ᴋᴏɴsᴛᴀɴᴛɪɴ ᴠᴇsʜɴʏᴀᴋᴏᴠ ([personal profile] sputnik) wrote in [community profile] singillatim 2024-05-03 03:55 pm (UTC)

cw: nondescriptive suicide mention

Original Gangster... huh! That's a new one. I'll have to remember that. [ Konstantin laughs again, forever delighted to learn new tidbits of information; he'll have to tell Vasiliy....

'You're staying alive. Don't reckon that's useless.' It's a good point, and Konstantin agrees — or maybe it's that he wants to agree, more than anything. To believe that staying alive means something. That it means he can help, but there's that deep ache, the one that knows he's not supposed to be alive anymore. Not him. Not what he's become. He's ruined, he's dangerous, he's nothing that he used to be.

There's a certain lingering horror to the fact that he may not be able to die. If he survived the wound he made sure was fatal the first time, then will he survive another? The thought of being kept alive against his will is a strange fear.
]

I'm glad to hear that. [ He means it, looking over at Kieren for a moment to see the younger's head dipped down, uncomfortable, maybe embarrassed. Maybe ashamed. It can't be anything easy for him to talk about, or to experience, but at least no one's been... well, a dick about it, as he says.

He's quiet for a few moments as he walks, and he keeps the question casual, his curiosity more conversational than pressing.
]

Is that all you eat? Do you eat regular food at all? [ And quicky, an add-on, because this is a conversation and not an interrogation (he knows how important that distinction is)— ]

My condition means my diet gets pretty gnarly sometimes, too. It can be hard to find the right stuff in a place like this.

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