The question helps, a little. Some direction. "You— I said, you felt alive, with me. And you said... ah..."
His fingers move over Francis' scalp, running a few times over the same spot to make sure one particular tangle is out. That's all he thinks of for a moment while the words already lined up in his throat come out. "You said—" His voice is steadier, emptier. "'I am, still.' And then you died. Well— then you slept. For a long time. Your body is more resilient than I gave it credit for, I think. You certainly didn't live through it because of anything I could do."
His fingers find a different spot closer to the base of Francis' head, and spend a few seconds running through it. There's another knot there, but it's smaller. He rubs soap into it. "So I, um—"
He'd been saying all this for a reason. He'd wanted to explain. He finishes explaining, still sounding a little distant but in a casual way, now. "And now, you said your life wasn't your own. You wanted to live, then. With me. And you want it now." Raju tugs at some of the hair in the knot and then pinches it near the base, so tugging at it doesn't tug so much at Francis' scalp. "That's all. That's what I was thinking about. It's... good. Good to know that. I knew it before, but—"
He doesn't have the words again. He gives a frustrated huff. "I don't know. It's different now. Isn't it?"
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His fingers move over Francis' scalp, running a few times over the same spot to make sure one particular tangle is out. That's all he thinks of for a moment while the words already lined up in his throat come out. "You said—" His voice is steadier, emptier. "'I am, still.' And then you died. Well— then you slept. For a long time. Your body is more resilient than I gave it credit for, I think. You certainly didn't live through it because of anything I could do."
His fingers find a different spot closer to the base of Francis' head, and spend a few seconds running through it. There's another knot there, but it's smaller. He rubs soap into it. "So I, um—"
He'd been saying all this for a reason. He'd wanted to explain. He finishes explaining, still sounding a little distant but in a casual way, now. "And now, you said your life wasn't your own. You wanted to live, then. With me. And you want it now." Raju tugs at some of the hair in the knot and then pinches it near the base, so tugging at it doesn't tug so much at Francis' scalp. "That's all. That's what I was thinking about. It's... good. Good to know that. I knew it before, but—"
He doesn't have the words again. He gives a frustrated huff. "I don't know. It's different now. Isn't it?"