open-ish | the... sailor fight....

[castitas]

Who: Kate Marsh, Cornelius Hickey, Edward Little, Thomas Jopson, and basically everyone, eventually.
What: Edward Little told Kate Marsh if Cornelius Hickey ever spoke to her again, then she had to come tell him. WELL GUESS WHAT.
When: 21st February.
Where: Various, Milton.

Content Warnings: Discussions involving cannibalism and suicide, including method of suicide (wrist injuries). Major spoilers for AMC's The Terror. Also fighting.

Comments

[goingtobeunwell]

It's not ridiculous, but he's not certain if he can articulate why he understands exactly the point that Gibson's trying to make. Even watching the creature choke on Hickey's upper hemisphere he knows that he'd try all over again to tame something he doesn't understand.

"He misunderstood," he tells him. "He misunderstood the situation entirely, just as he will here if he thinks he can tame whatever this is."

But he wonders the depth of Gibson's devotion. Would an obsession with yet another mystical beast hurt him as bad as the first time Hickey destroyed him? Or would it somehow be worse a second time?

"I don't know how to calm that obsession. Do you?"

[notarat]

He slowly shakes his head, before adding: "I don't think that anyone is capable of doing that."

It's just the sort of person Hickey is. Like an unstoppable force. It makes Crozier's own admittance that he doesn't know what to do about it either very unsurprising. Even if some people they know might think Crozier is some sort of superhuman who can do anything, Billy is far more realistic in his assessment.

Still, it can't hurt for at least someone else here to know of this too, so he at least isn't carrying that knowledge by himself. And if Crozier is going to step up at least a little bit again, he's the best candidate for it.

"So far it does not seem too bad." Yet, anyway. He frowns, thinking about it. "But.. I must admit I did not see the signs of it before either. Back during the expedition. I feel that if he had already been thinking about the creature that much back then, he would have confided about it in me."

They had discussed so much, after all. They planned an entire mutiny, without even a real mention of the creature itself in that particular sense along the way.

"It is possible something.. accelerated his interest in it after I passed, though I am obviously not certain what that could have been. As long as that threshold is not crossed here, perhaps there's a chance."

[goingtobeunwell]

He also doesn't think Hickey cared much about the creature until some later point in time, when he learned that it wasn't an animal but much, much more. He must have put pieces together: Silna and the failed ritual, the intelligence of the creature, it's deep intelligence and penchant for wrath.

He wants to agree with Gibson, that there's still hope Hickey may not need to seek the approval of what he doesn't understand. If he doesn't find desperation here or see importance laid at his feet where there is none, perhaps there'd be one less enemy lurking in Milton.

"He saw gain to be had in the creature. If he'd given what he needs, perhaps there'd be no need to covet."

[notarat]

Gain to be had in a creature that seemed intent on nothing but destroying everything around it. It makes Billy want to roll his eyes - not at Crozier, since he doesn't doubt the other's words here, but at Hickey's own tendency to overlook the obvious downsides to plans - even if he manages to resist the temptation.

"What gain was that, Mr. Crozier? Power?" If the man maybe imagined that he could somehow control the creature, turn its destruction into something Hickey himself could aim at whatever he wanted..

The idea seems so farfetched to Billy, who's much more grounded in reality, but he can't imagine anything other gain to be had there.

[goingtobeunwell]

"Power," he says, shoulders rising in a soft shrug. "He saw a chance to touch the divine. Whereas most of us would be terrified, he's..."

Ah, what's the word. Stupidly fascinated? No, that's perhaps too harsh. After all, weren't they all fascinated by the creature in some manner?

"Inspired. I think he was inspired."

But it's still a troublesome line of thinking, one that could pull them all right back into the maw of a beast.

[notarat]

Crozier's words would sound insane to Billy, were it not for the specific person they are about. It's something he can't really grasp on a personal level, never having cared for the divine nor ever having seen the creature as more than a very direct threat on all their lives, which would make the thought of anyone else thinking that way a ridiculous idea.

But he has seen the signs on Hickey. He knows what the man is like. It's certainly a new level of delusion entirely, but if Billy stretches the things he has witnessed in his mind, it's not impossible when it's Hickey.

(It's still stupid, though, and he certainly feels the exasperation that always sits right alongside the affection.)

"Then there is nothing any of us can do," he concludes. Some of the exasperation slips out into his tone, though it doesn't seem aimed at Crozier, since there are no barbs in it. "Unless you happen to be capable of somehow giving him divine inspiration."

[goingtobeunwell]

He knows that exasperation, but it's difficult to put his finger on exactly where he's seen it. Perhaps on his own friend, James Clark Ross - he'd certainly had that look on his face when Crozier would open up his mouth and put his foot right into it. But then again he'd also seen the look on his older sisters, on Thomas Blanky's when his old friend made some idiotic captaining decisions, and Sophia whenever he said something too overtly romantic.

There's fondness there, a genuine fondness. Gibson would quite genuinely be upset if Hickey somehow hurt himself or others with his idiotic ideas.

"I'm no Sir John," he replies dryly. It'd be nice if he could inspire divine inspiration in a person, but then the mutiny wouldn't have happened in the first place. "But I'll do as I must to prevent further descent into delusions of grandeur."

[notarat]

He silently regards the other man for a moment, as if contemplating either Crozier's words or the ones Billy is about to say in return, but then he slowly speaks up again.

"Thank you." There's nothing deeply emotional about the words, but there's an honesty to them.

After all, he isn't delusional enough to think Crozier is doing this for him, let alone for Hickey. But intentions don't matter when they're working for the same outcome here - and he knows he'll need all the help he can get with this. So having anyone else at all that realises this is the true risk and is willing to help work to avoid it is something he is genuinely grateful for.

"I will do what I can on my end as well." There's a pause, followed up by a slight nod. "... Then I will take my leave, unless you had more to ask."

[goingtobeunwell]

There's nothing more. He'd never paid much mind to Gibson, let alone gotten to know him on any personal level, but that doesn't mean he hadn't wished him well or looked to harm him in any way.

Perhaps he might still make a different choice when push comes to shove. It's the longest shot in the world, but it's always a possibility. He has to believe that.

He returns the nod and leaves the conversation at that.