(closed)

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Who: A. Rama Raju, Edward Little, Francis Crozier, William Gibson
What: experiencing/dealing with the horrors
When: after the recent Darkwalker attack, around the time of the town meeting, and after one of the aurora nights
Where: one outside the Community Hall, the other on the outskirts

Content Warnings: Ned's fire trauma, little mention of Raju's trauma that I'll CW for on the comment title. If anything else comes up I'll add! 

Comments

[notarat]

There's a moment where he seems to consider those words to himself, his gaze cast down to the snow. It doesn't lift right away when he speaks up.

"It would be my word against his, wouldn't it?" It's then that his gaze lifts enough to look over at Raju again. Something in his gaze is thoughtful - though troubled. Not really a surprise, given what Billy is saying here. "It would be an easy story for him to twist. Especially in a place like this."

Or just given Hickey's involvement. It has the possibility of opening a can of worms that he would prefer to keep as tightly closed as possible. Having the entire town talk about the things Hickey did back home does not fit Billy's view of trying to live a relatively peaceful life in this place.

"Facing the risk of more harm being posed to me, like you mention, coupled with the risk of being disbelieved.. It does not seem worth it."

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Raju nods thoughtfully. "There's more than one good reason not to attack where anyone else can see. I don't think he'd speak against you though, at least not very well; he doesn't seem to like talking much. But I did only speak to him once."

He sighs, a part of him thinking its own thoughts admitting now that he isn't going to realise the secret of controlling this thing inside of him here, today. But William is right that the way of getting the damned fires started is simple, even if...

Well. William might actually be more suited to that kind of control than Raju is. Fear fits inside of Raju more easily, turns itself into anger, and even that is usually something that Raju can handle. Anger is a good thing, even when it hurts. Anger is fuel. The kind of emotion that's strong enough inside him to push its way out is one Raju's spent so long trying not to ever reach for that he doesn't know, now, whether he could.

It'd come from an entirely different place when the wolves had attacked, a place that had come easily, but Raju can't summon that one up unless the danger really feels immediate, either.

"I'd offer to help, but you might be more able to defend yourself than I am, at this point." He smiles, faintly and ruefully. "With that fire on you. And you only burned his hand? You stopped yourself after that?"

[notarat]

There's a moment where Billy just seems to regard the other man silently. Not long enough for it to seem strange or suspicious, but just for long enough to feel that a thought likely crossed his mind before he speaks up.

".. do not put yourself down," seems to be his response according to whatever thought just passed. Really, it's not even like Raju is explicitly doing that, but-- it feels too strange to get that sort of compliment otherwise. Billy doesn't feel like his control is that great, and the ability still feels strange. It's just that it's also useful, and it's also that even if he isn't in control of the ability itself an absolute 100% yet, just having it at all makes him feel more in control of other things.

Which is the important part to him.

"You seem like an intelligent enough man." Judging by the movement of his lips, it seems like Billy was about to 'Mr.' him again, only catching himself at the last moment, and still feeling a little too self-conscious about being informal to just use the other's name plainly like he asked. "If I can find ways to control it better, then you could do the same. Sometimes it just takes time."

He exhales after that, before adding: "And-- yes, it was only his hand. I was not trying to kill him. I only wanted him to stop."

Granted, it's more that Rorschach ran away and put the fire out in the snow more so than Billy actively stopping it, but.. you know.. It's not like he wants to share all the details of that situation, especially when a few sure are wrapped in the Big Homosexuality Secret.

[load_aim_shoot]

It's impressive control — though if stopping that way came from a specific technique, William would have shared it. So maybe it's only down to William's nature. Francis reminded him once that the Discovery Service wasn't military, for all its men are still British Navy; William is a steward, and a shy, hesitant man, and not a fighter, doesn't seem at all hungry to be. So maybe it was easy for him to want to stop before the fire spread too far. Not a method Raju can count on.

One more time, Raju looks over the snow and the burned trees. He sighs. What a pain, this whole thing. But Francis has been more than decent about the fire, never complaining or even seeming to mind waking up to it after Raju's nightmares. He'll have to be decent about it a while longer.

"Well, thank you," Raju says, turning away from the charred evidence of his failure to look at William instead. "It's good to know more about all this, even if we can't understand enough of it yet. And, well— if you have trouble with Rorschach that you can't solve by setting him on fire, let me know. Maybe there'll be something else that we can do."

there we go, wrapped it! c: thanks again for the thread!

[notarat]

"Thank you."

It's a brief sort of thanks, but it doesn't seem like he's only saying it for the sake of it. Even if Billy doesn't seem like the most openly emotional person ever - perhaps something that also helps him a little with controlling the fire better - it's a very meant thanks of gratitude by his standards. He isn't really used to being offered help in such a way. And even though he knows he has Hickey on his side, at least-- he also knows the other's methods for dealing with this sort of problem aren't exactly suitable. It can't hurt to have Raju know about the incident as long as he seems sympathetic to it.

He looks around, like he realises the conversation is winding down and he should probably leave the other to practice some more if Raju might want to, but.. first he does add: "I hope you find some control soon too."

Because Billy knows that it's hard when you don't have it. The first few times his power activated, he remembers freaking out, being terrified of himself. Of everything. Having even a little more grip on it feels like a great relief.

With that - and a polite nod - he moves to take his leave.