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Who: James T. Kirk & Edward Little
What: Edward reached out after Jim's note on the message board, so Jim's getting in touch
When: After the Darkwalker attack
Where: Edward's cabin

Content Warnings: Talk of character death, probable talk of the Darkwalker attacks

[ It almost seems fated that the Darkwalker would show up again just after Jim pins that note about La'an. Understandably, it takes the attention of everyone in Milton, and Jim ends up busy the next few days, adding the concern of the latest attack and the town meeting on top of the already basic worries about food, supplies and a place to stay.

He's far from settled in, but he makes enough time to follow the directions to the cabin, so he can meet the second person to reply to his note. This is important, after all. It's still freezing cold, Jim's still not used to it, but he has managed to get a few more layers, which he's now wearing as he knocks on the door. His face and nose are a little red, he's wrapped in a couple of makeshift scarves and the thickest coat he could find, wearing a pair of dusty old gloves and some worn boots. It's not ideal, but at least he hasn't lost sensation in his extremities yet.

Once the door opens, he quickly asks, voice trembling just slightly. ]

Edward Little? I'm James Kirk.

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[ It's all been another whirlwind, a relentless storm of stress. With the turmoil freshly going on with the men he'd arrived here with from the Expedition, to the recent deaths. Four men lost. And just like with La'an, he'd been helpless to do anything to help them. He knows in his heart there was nothing that could be done to stop it, but feels the heavy stone of responsibility and guilt all the same, his stomach weighted with it.

And the town meeting had been... stressful in other ways. Edward has found himself left strange in the aftermath of it all, unsure what to do. How to be.

When the knock at the door comes, he's hesitating only a moment, cautious (expecting the worse, as always,) but he slowly peels it open to reveal a man he'd noticed at the town meeting, but has yet to meet. As soon as he gives his name, it becomes clear exactly what he's here about, and Edward blinks widely, quickly taking a step back to invite him in. ]

Oh— yes, please, come in out of the cold.

[ His cabin is small but that means it warms fast and easily. There's a fireplace going in the living room, which is where he'll lead the other man and gesture for him to sit — there's a sofa and an armchair; he's welcome to take either. ]

Would you like something warm to drink? I keep coffee going almost always.

[ Jim takes the invitation to step inside as soon as it's offered, manners taking a backseat at the prospect of being somewhere warmer. He at leasts offers an apologetic look once he's inside, and he starts taking off his gloves and scarves, then shrugging off his coat, setting them all down where they won't be in the way. ]

Thanks. I won't say no to a cup of coffee. [ Still marvelled there's even any around, honestly. ] Still haven't gotten used to the cold.

[ It'll probably take a while. He just hopes he won't get sick in the process.

He takes the armchair while Edward fetches that coffee, looking around the small cabin with some appreciation. Small works pretty well for their current predicament, he thinks. ]

[ There's a quick nod, and Edward gets right to work — moving to pour two large mugs from where he keeps a pot of coffee heated by the fire. That part isn't so different from what he'd be used to in his own time, without "electricity" (still such a novel concept for him when it's been explained by others). ]

It is.... difficult to adjust to. [ He gives an empathetic nod, handing the other man a mug and settling onto the sofa with his own. Hopefully Jim is all right with taking it black; there isn't much sugar left in town at the moment. ] Before here, I served on a ship out in icy waters for some years, and yet I still feel so out of place in the cold.

[ He isn't certain he'll ever be warm again. But at least here there are shelters, and food. ...Anything is better than where he was before. ]

You're a new arrival... are you settling in all right? Do you have a safe place to stay?

[ He knows there's an important matter to attend to, he certainly hasn't forgotten (his stomach is tight, anxious; he thinks about La'an every day.) But first he wants to check on the other man, make certain he's coping well enough so far. ]

Edited 2024-03-17 21:39 (UTC)

[ He supposes this must be difficult to adapt to for most everyone who finds themselves here. Even when used to the temperatures, the snow, or supernatural monsters like the one plaguing this place, the combination of it all must offer a different kind of challenge to each individual. The main issue for Jim is that each of those things are a challenge.

He perks up at the mention of a ship, even though Edward quickçly makes it clear that it's not the kind of ship Jim's familiar with. Since he knew La'an, he figures he'd know that, but still he clarifies, while accepting the mug with a grateful nod. ]

I've lived on ships for most of my life, but they're vastly different. Even our colonies have artificial atmospheres, so everything is carefully controlled. Temperature, air percentage, all of that. I'd never even seen snow before this.

[ It's been quite the novelty. Under different circumstances, Jim might even bring himself to enjoy it on occasion. Just not right now. ]

I could be worse. [ Not much of an answer, granted, but not a lie. As optimistic as he can get right now. ] I've been sleeping in the community hall, but I'll be looking around for a place soon. Everyone's been helpful so far, which is great since I can barely light a fire on my own.

[ He'll be the first to admit it, he's not great with extreme survival in these conditions and with such lack of resources. ]

[ Ships that are vastly different... It's difficult for Edward to understand the true context of such a thing, although it certainly stirs forth a memory with La'an, in which she'd finally shared her name with him, and where (when) she was from.

This man.... could he be from the same time? So impossibly far into the future? He must be, if he'd been searching her out...

He falls silent as he listens, taking a careful sip from his coffee before offering a small smile. ]

I must admit, there is much I require assistance with, as well. Much here is.... foreign to me. I come from the year 1848.

[ He well-knows by now that such a time is considered almost archaic to most, around here. But after a moment, Edward's smile sobers, and he hesitates a beat or two before continuing. ]

Are you... from Lieutenant Noonien-Singh's world?

[ It's a reasonable assumption, one Jim expects most people here to make when he's been asking around about La'an. He did consider keeping it under wraps, if nothing to protect whatever temporal laws likely exist. (He didn't exactly get debriefed on those, but he's smart enough to reach some logical conclusions.)

But knowing about what happened to La'an here is just too much; he couldn't possibly navigate being here for who knows how long and keep pretending like he didn't know who she was. ]

That's... [ He pauses, eyes wide as he looks to the other man. ] Wow. Four hundred years before my time.

[ He'll make a mental note to himself not to bombard Edward with too many questions, but to some degree, it is pretty obvious he's fascinated by this new piece of information. Luckily, Edward distracts him for the time being with his question, lips pressing while he tries to figure out how to even begin to explain that to him. ]

Not... exactly. We're from the same point in time, but not the same reality. [ A pause while he studies the other man's expression for any signs of confusion. ] She hasn't told you about any of that, I'm assuming.

[ There's a grim tightening of his mouth — not quite a smile, but something close to it, and he tips his head forwards slightly in a nod of understanding. If La'an hadn't informed him of the year she came from, such a revelation would undoubtedly shock him to his core now — and it is shocking, to learn he's sitting and talking to a man four hundred years into his future, but it's not the first time he's been shocked by such a thing.

What comes next, though... the same point in time, but not the same reality? Indeed, there's a pinch of brows as Edward tries to make sense of such a thing, but clearly very new to the concept. (Of course, this place has.... challenged his normalcy in many ways, as some of his companions from his own world have showed up from different points in time.... perhaps the opposite of Kirk's situation, then: the same reality, but different moments amongst it.) ]

She hadn't, no. She told me... that she came from my future, that she served aboard a ship. USS Enterprise.

[ A beat, as he looks back up to the other man. ]

But you... knew her? Or some... version of her, in your world?

[ It's a difficult thing to explain, even from someone in his time. Someone from four centuries in the past? It seems nearly impossible. Jim's not even sure he has the knowledge necessary for something like that.

But he did bring it up, so. He'll at least give it a shot. Edward must at least be familiar with the concept of different worlds, if he's been here long enough. ]

It's a little more complicated than that. Basically, there was someone who traveled back in time, about two hundred fifty years, and did something that altered the way things were supposed to happen. So, everything that should have happened after that, happened a different way. I'm... from that alternate timeline.

[ There, that wasn't so bad. He thinks. The tricky part is explaining everything else. ]

La'an never existed in my reality. But due to a... fluke of some sort, she ended up in my timeline, on my ship. And then we were both sent back to the past, so we could fix that event that wasn't supposed to happen. So, that's— how we met.

[ It's been a difficult process, lengthy and strange, but Edward can at least grasp the idea of different worlds by now. He's listening very intently, not even taking another sip of his coffee for those few moments, only staring at the other man as he absorbs the words, attempts to keep up. And he does, for the most part — time travel, an.... alternate timeline. Again, even if all of that seems on a much more drastic scale, he at least has some experience with the others from his time being... displaced amongst it. He can make sense of this.

But what comes next is... certainly more complex than even what's come before. Little pauses, a deep, thoughtful frown tugging the corners of his mouth downwards as he listens. La'an never existed in his world....? He wonders if the La'an he knew here would have known this man, then. They hadn't gotten the chance to speak much of others from their worlds.

In any case, this is all... very disheartening to hear, for many reasons, and he dips his head, voice softening as realisation creeps in. ]

So you only just missed meeting her here... [ She'd been...killed just before. It's a horrible thought, and he looks truly devastated. He doesn't know the nature of their relationship, especially given they weren't meant to exist in the same... realities? But still, it must be difficult. He'd known this woman, somehow, hadn't he? ]

I am sorry. It must be.... a very strange loss for you, to come here and learn of her.... death.

[ Jim can't really go into the specifics, the scientific side of it all, but that might just be for the best. He can simplify it, though. Explain it in a way that should hopefully make sense, even to someone from centuries before him. Must seem wild to Edward, something out of a fiction story, but not impossible to comprehend.

He meets Edward's gaze for a moment, then nods, looking back to the mug in his hands. ]

I'm aware of the cruel irony.

[ Not that he believes in any kind of higher power that would willingly make this happen, pull them apart just as they're about to be reunited. To be fair, Jim isn't even supposed to be alive anymore. He's not supposed to even have existed in the first place. That's just another way that this place is all twisted and wrong. He lives, and La'an is gone. ]

It's a painful loss. We worked together to save her reality. She was supposed to be back there, alive and safe, not— wherever this is.

[ His voice falters briefly, but he manages to push it down. He's cried it out by now, he's not going to break in front of someone else. Not again. ]

[ Irony is an apt word for it, the most apt, and Edward falls silent again for a long moment as he sits there gazing solemnly into the darkness of his coffee, a small round abyss on his lap. ]

....I do not know exactly what to call this place. [ When he speaks again, it's quiet, words slow. He is not meant to be alive, either. And— as of late, he's begun to think that "alive" may not be the appropriate term for what he is, at all. He is just one of many ghosts, haunting. He doesn't know why. ]

But so much of it is cruel. Its... mysteries. [ This place... it seems almost designed to torment them. ]

Is that why you sought out those who knew her? For... answers?

[ About her death, or about the nature of her time here, perhaps... Whatever this man seeks about La'an, Edward will help him to find, as best as he's able. ]

[ Jim hasn't spent much of his time so far on deep, philosophical questions. Whether or not he's actually dead, if this is some kind of afterlife. He's never believed that in the first place. He's vastly more inclined to believe in some freaky multiverse travel incident than anything else. And he absolutely doesn't want to think about his own death. ]

I only know what I've been told so far. And the more recent... attack. [ Something he experienced, something he felt, even if he didn't see it with his own eyes. He looks at Edward at the question, taking a sip from his coffee and using the opportunity to just try and gather his thoughts. ]

I guess I just... wanted to know about her time here, the people she got to meet. Honestly, we... didn't have the luxury of time together. But that doesn't really matter. She was special to me.

[ Some people simply are. Sometimes you don't need time to just know that. ]

It's good to hear she was special to others too. That she left such an impression. If— that makes sense.

[ Good memories, mostly. That's what he's hoping to get. ]

Edited 2024-04-17 17:11 (UTC)

[ As he listens to the other man speak, Edward's heart clenches like a fist within his ribcage, something that quietly steals his breathing, makes it feel more shallow. Makes it ache. This isn't about you, he reminds himself, but there's so much guilt over the ways in which he feels he failed La'an, even if time and time again he has been reminded by others that there was nothing anyone could have done. The "Darkwalker".... chose her, for some inexplicable reason, and even if he had been there with her, he could have done nothing to stop her death.

.....But he can't help thinking over and over again about the fact she was alone when she died. How frightened her corpse looked. He has so much regret and remorse for it. He wishes this man did not have to come into this place and immediately grieve the loss of someone who meant so much to him.

He nods softly at Jim's words — it makes sense, he understands — and he gives a quiet exhale as he steadies himself. He hasn't been able to.... speak about La'an, very much. This is the first time he's ever sat down with someone like this, addressed the woman. When he speaks, it's slowly, thoughtfully. ]

She and I were amongst the first to arrive to this place. The original residents of this place were all... freshly deceased. I first met Lieutenant Noonien-Singh when she was helping to respectfully dispose of them.

....She was always helping. Anywhere she could. We would encounter each other on patrols at times. I did not know her intimately, but—.... it was... it was quite nice, to consider her an ally. [ He can't help giving a small, soft smile. ] Perhaps an enormous relief as well, to have a fellow lieutenant around, someone to help keep order. To help keep the community safe. I knew I could.... trust her. Rely on her. And I hoped to be someone she could rely on, as well.

[ He dips his head for a moment, his heart skipping odd beats. ]

She was a pillar of security to the people here. I believe she made others feel more safe, in such an unknown and frightening situation. I know she made me feel as such.

[ They're two peas in a pod there, because Jim can't stop blaming himself for not being here when La'an died. He has failed her too, at least that's what it feels like. It has nothing to do with him, of course, and her death shouldn't be about his pain, but he can't help feeling that way. Feeling that he got here just a little too late.

But this is a comfort. Everything he hears about the time she was here, the people she grew close to, they cushion the little pieces of him that shatter every time he thinks about her. At least she wasn't alone. At least she made a difference.

He may not have known her for long, but he at least knows with certainty that's something she'd want. ]

If she thought of you as an ally, then I'm sure she believed she could rely on you too.

[ And Jim, in turn, is all the more inclined to do the same. Anyone who had La'an's trust will get his, that's a given. ]

She was good at that. [ He smiles a little. Even when she was scared and lost, even when she didn't know what was going on. Not that Jim wasn't good at that too, during their time in Toronto, but she never cracked. Level-headed, rational, smart. They wouldn't have managed to get far on their impromptu mission if not for her. ] I don't know if she told you, but she was chief of security on her ship. It was sort of second nature to her— helping others, protecting them.

[ Edward's soft, cautious smile warms just a little — an expression mostly seen in his eyes, a quiet but meaningful thing. Those words do mean something to him, a very great deal. ]

She told me security was her specialty — I'm not surprised to learn that she was chief over it. Her main concern always seemed to be for the safety of others.

[ A beat as he recollects something relevant to that idea, and finally takes another sip of his own coffee, conversational even if the subject matter is so somber. ]

There was a storm coming, once. A great snow storm; we had some time to prepare for it. Lieutenant Noonien-Singh was ill. Quite ill. Most of us were planning to stay at the Community Center together — safety in numbers, and to help each other through it. But she chose to isolate herself in a solitary cabin.... so as not to risk harm to anyone else.

[ He'd been deeply worried, and deeply confused (the idea of illnesses being spread amongst people predated his time...) but she had explained that it was possible, that research from the future proved as such, and he'd believed her. ]

I helped her prepare a cabin to weather it through. It was very brave of her, and.... admirable. I do believe she had one of the strongest constitutions I've known of anyone — even the men of my own ship.

[ To the detriment of her own, Jim thinks, even though he is well aware he didn't have the time to see the full scope of that. He'd figured as much from their time in Toronto. She was stubborn too (not that Jim can talk, really), so it doesn't surprise him in the slightest to have his guess confirmed there.

Hearing that story now just makes Jim smile, albeit small and sad. It's good to hear of things she did while she was here, what she did for others, and the impression she left on them. He genuinely hopes she knew how many good memories and feelings she's left behind, imprinted not only on these people, but on her crew back in her world too. He has no doubt of that. ]

Small miracles of advanced medicine, [ Jim remarks, though he suspects there may be more to it in La'an's case. Generally speaking, though, he expects anyone from the 23rd century to be more resilient to disease, at the very least. ]

I'm sure she wasn't stubborn at all about isolating herself.

[ Equally stubborn, Jim would have refused to leave her on her own. Even if he'd have to lock himself up in there with her. There's a thought gnawing at the back of his mind that that's when she was killed by the Darkwalker, but he's too scared to ask. Too scared to have more details about it all. ]

[ Edward gives a faint smile of his own, equally small and sad — but just a touch amused, too. ]

Nothing I could have said would have changed her mind, I am certain of it.

[ La'an's determination on that was obstinate. And he does look back on that experience with a certain fondness — and an ache. It was one of the last times he spoke with her, apart from bumping into her on patrols here and there after. But it wasn't too long afterwards, that she...

He gives a long, full-bodied sigh, and looks back up. ]

She left something to my care. If you'll pardon me for a moment, I'll fetch it.

[ Setting his coffee aside, Edward stands and leaves the room for a moment, heading upstairs to the small bedroom there, taking out a little box from where he's kept it tucked into a drawer. When he returns to Kirk, he sits back down and hands it over to him. Inside is La'an's Starfleet badge. ]

I suppose it was part of her uniform. Do you recognise it?

[ Yeah, she was a stubborn one. Jim can't really talk, to be fair. Were he in her situation, he'd have done exactly the same.

His eyes follow Edward as he gets to his feet, nodding. After getting the watch from Fraser, he's almost afraid to see what Edward's going to show him. All the little things she's left behind, small memories to be cherished by the people here who remember her so fondly. Everything that's left of her, now.

Jim uses the moment he has to be on his own to take a breath, steel himself for it. He didn't manage that much with Fraser and ended up having a breakdown, and he really doesn't want that happening again.

It's a good thing Jim takes the time to prepare for it. When Edward comes back out and shows him the badge, Jim feels his heart lurch up to his throat, hesitant even as he reaches out for it. ]

Yes. It's... her Starfleet badge. It's the insignia for the fleet she belonged to. [ He presses his thumb against it, pressing his lips in. ] It was important to her.

[ He'd taken the item out a few times over the past months, when everything tipped forwards into darkness, and this place gave him a shadowed double that followed him everywhere, reminded him of all of the worst parts of himself. That figure had appeared so shortly after La'an's death, and Edward hadn't shunned it. He'd accepted it, that dark twin. And slowly, over time, it had drained him. He'd let that happen too.

But he'd been able to dwell on things, to sit at the kitchen table with this little box opened, staring down at the reminder of the woman he feels he failed. Now, after coming out of that odd fog, it's been harder to look at the thing. He's kept it locked away. Sometimes he thinks it was easier when he was so close to just... letting go of himself completely. Remaining strong is difficult. He isn't quite certain he knows how to be, anymore.

In fact, this is the first time he's touched that box in some weeks, and he holds a quiet breath of his own as he watches the other man take the item, look it over. He recognises it, and it wounds him. Edward nods softly, eyes cast downwards for a moment. ]

There are some of us here who specifically seek to... keep order. Lieutenant Noonien-Singh was one of them. I had thought that perhaps... someday, we might form a headquarters, and we could keep this badge there to be honoured. As a reminder of her bravery, and that we must hold steadfast to keeping this community safe.

[ But now... Edward sighs, shoulders slumping a little. So much has... crumbled. So much is wrong. ]

....With the recent attack, with those poor four men taken, I... I fear I do not know if anything can truly help the people here. Can truly protect them. Perhaps staying safe in this place is an impossible task.

[ Staying strong in the face of loss is a difficult thing to manage. Jim would like to say he's never had to deal with that before, but unfortunately this isn't the first time that he's lost someone. It's all at once better and worse that he wasn't even here when it happened. Would it have made a difference, would he have been able to stop it from happening? Maybe not, but he could have tried.

He definitely feels the urge to spiral into a pit of guilt and shame over it, and he can only imagine that feeling's worse for those close to her who were actually here when it happened. But he needs to remind himself, like he has many times before: giving into that feeling just isn't an option. ]

There's always something that can be done to help.

[ He says that in a resolute, steadfast way. Maybe they will all die, that's a definite possibility. But Jim isn't ever going to sink into that thought; he's never going to give up on hope, on fighting for everyone's safety.

His thumb traces the edge of the insignia, and he takes a slow breath as he sets it back into the box, returning it to Edward. ]

If you ever do decide to go ahead with that plan, you can count me in. For whatever you need.

[ Ordinarily, Edward would be deeply ashamed to voice such a despondent thought — that there may be nothing that can be done, to help these people. To help anything. He'd clung so hard onto hope for so long... been driven by it, by the steadfast beating of his own heart, the reliance upon his own sense of hope. To admit that he doubts it now.... Some part of him doesn't feel right, about it.

But it's so easy to look at it that way, now. So easy to realise how foolish he's been, to think that anything he could possibly do would be enough to truly help anyone. And yet... hearing the other man say those words...

'There's always something that can be done to help.'

His heart wants to cling onto them. To believe them, and to act on them. It's still there inside of him, even if this place has so freshly challenged it, and stripped him nearly bare. Hope.

Edward stares at the other man for a long moment, eyes round and wide and wet, and it's only when Jim moves to return the box to him that he finds words of his own again. ]

Thank you. Your strength would be an asset to this community. I have no doubts of that, Mr. Kirk.

[ For all that this man seems to have gone through, and to still be so strong in the face of it... to want to help even as he mourns the loss of someone... it speaks much to his character. Edward dips his head slightly, looking down at the box, brushing his own thumb lightly against it. ]

But if you should wish to keep this in your possession, then please— I would be happy to pass it to your care.

[ He nods, meaning it; the item belonged to someone Jim knew, someone he lost more than anyone here. If it might bring his heart some ounce of peace, he should certainly have it — certainly have that choice. ]

[ Even in his darkest days, Jim hasn't ever lost hope. Or, well, he may have gotten close to it, but as a ship Captain, he knows that his attitude will shift the morale of his crew, so he can't waver when it comes to that. Here is no different, the way he sees it. If anything, it's more needed than ever, given their circumstances.

And Edward has no idea how hard it all is, for him. Not just because of La'an's loss, but now being forced to live when knowing that back in his reality, he's dead. Actually, knowing that his reality may not even exist anymore to begin with. Like being in limbo for however long he's here. ]

I can only hope it'll make a difference.

[ It can be tough, with a big group of people; even more difficult when they're all from such different realities. ]

No. She gave it to you, so you should keep it. [ He smiles faintly. ] Besides, I liked that idea of yours. So let's maybe work towards that.

[ 'Limbo' would be an apt term for how Edward feels, as well. It's... strange, the awareness that a person is dead. While he may not know the exact nature of his own death, he knows now that no one survived the Expedition. History has said as much — he, and the rest of his men, are only ghosts.

It's become so easy to think that nothing matters anymore. That everyone he has grown to care about here are destined to become ghosts as well. La'an, those four men in the church... who else will meet their ends in this impossible place? Alone and frightened and helpless? He's tired, he's so tired of losing people.

But there are still people to protect. Still people for Lieutenant Little to protect. It's what he has to remind himself of again and again and again.

He gives a soft nod, and slowly closes the box, returning it to his lap. The item feels like it belongs to more than just himself. Like it belongs to this entire community. But he can be its safe-keeper. ]

I should like that, Mr. Kirk. I think the people of this community would benefit from seeing it on display someday. There aren't many personal items to be found here, so.... this badge is a precious thing. [ He offers a small, sad smile of his own. ] Thank you again.

[ Feels like they're all ghosts here, sometimes. It's a thought that Jim doesn't say out loud. He knows morale is crucial in situations like this, and besides, it doesn't really matter what they may have left behind: they are here now, they're alive. Survival is worth fighting for. ]

I know it is.

[ And he knows that Edward understands the value of such an item. Jim would have nothing to do with it, and at this point, he feels like Edward needs it far more than Jim does. It's motivation, it's purpose. A goal to work towards. ]

No, thank you. For telling me a little about La'an's time here. It— it means a lot.

[ He figured she'd have tried to make a difference, to do some good for all the people here, but it's just good to have it confirmed. ]

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