the chilly worlds, and the silent fields

[sputnik]

Who: Konstantin Veshnyakov + various
What: catchall / open & closed prompts
When: through March & April
Where: various places in town

Content Warnings: This character comes with a parasitic alien entity by default. More content warnings will be in various thread headers.

Comments

[sputnik]

[ Konstantin pauses at that, trying to push through his odd more personal discomforts and think about it objectively. He knows the thing reacts to how it's treated. Tatiana had been making some headway with it, reaching out to it bit by bit. There were a couple of times she'd even seemed to have tamed its bloodlust — but only ever so briefly, and precariously. It's still so unpredictable, its behaviours. Who knows how this environment might shape that behaviour in new ways? What if it reacts with hostility to Vasiliy, and next time worse than hissing?

....But then again, if it stopped showing aggression to him in response to how he'd treated it... it could be a huge risk if he tries to frighten it into submission next time.

Konstantin sits there, expression tight, body tense. He doesn't know what the right answer is, here. Not being able to remember anything the creature does has been a mercy, but in a moment like this, it's a horror.

Vasiliy is the only bridge he now has to the creature's behaviour when it's outside of him. Konstantin has to place his trust in him — he does, it's the alien that he doesn't trust. ]

Since you're the one there with it, seeing how it reacts... whatever you think is best, I trust you, Vasya. [ He looks to the younger man's eyes, holding his gaze even if some strange sense of shame continues to linger. There's a few moments' pause before he adds on, and it's softer, something strained to his voice. ]

I just don't want you to get hurt.

[ It feels a little raw, vulnerable, this admission — not some grand statement for the people's benefit or proudly upholding some duty. It's—... it is personal. It's how he feels, honest and sincere and maybe a little foreign. He isn't used to voicing things like this. ]

[m1895]

[ Vasiliy swallows, holding the eye contact without shying away. It's not the first time someone's said that to him—Nadya had said that, too, when he joined the NKVD; it had been the beginning of the end of a two-year relationship. Yuri had said that after he escaped Beria's purges with his life.

It's been a long time since someone has held those thoughts for him, beyond his squadmates' superficial wish for him to remain sound on calls because they generally liked him, on however shallow a level that may have been. They wouldn't like him, and they certainly wouldn't care if he got hurt, if they saw any deeper, if they knew even a quarter of the real him.

But Konstantin does know the real him, or as close to it as he safely can, and there's a lump in his throat as he thinks about that—nobody's known him like this since he died; it hasn't been safe to allow anyone to know him. But Konstantin is a communist too. A devoted, principled Communist, and were it not for what he did during that time... he would trust him with the knowledge that he had died once before.

Vasiliy presses his lips together, wets them with the tip of his tongue. ]

I won't. I'll be careful. But it's better I handle it than someone in town. It seems to... trust me. Maybe it understands that we're friends.

[sputnik]

[ Konstantin finally breaks the gaze after so long holding it again, looking back down to his lap, slowly loosening the tightness of his jaw — a tension he can't quite release fully, no matter how many years of training he's had. These days, it's harder and harder to find that calm balance within himself. His heart's still beating a little too fast. ]

It does seem to... behave more positively towards people I feel positively about. I suppose we'll have to make sure never to argue.

[ He's trying to joke, say something light, but the implication is... sincerely terrifying. What if he and Vasiliy do have some sort of disagreement? What if this thing changes its tune? Tries to hurt Vasya? There's literally nothing he can do to stop it. To control it. He feels so helpless — and so uncomfortable in his own skin, in this moment. He's maintained a certain resilience about his situation, an almost disconcerting one, perhaps, but sometimes... sometimes it's there, the urge to claw into himself and tear this thing out. To shove his fingers down his throat and force it up and out of him. Thinking about it interacting with Vasiliy... how disgusting it is, how disgusting he is.... He shudders, knows there are sticky hard parts on his shirt where the alien's residue dried in the night. ]

I should go... wash off, probably.

[m1895]

[ It hurts, knowing how upset Konstantin must be—that there's nothing he can do to soothe it, not really. He just has to... stand by and watch, unable to convince him to think otherwise, because it's revulsion coming from within, and... he'd probably feel the same way, all things considered, were he in the man's shoes.

Vasiliy nods, his mannerisms quiet. ]

That's probably a good idea... maybe you should rest as well. I don't think you slept very soundly. I can take care of things around the house.