(semi-)closed;

[notarat]

Who: Billy and others.
What:
When: At various points after the town meeting.
Where: Around Milton.

Content Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, murder, identity theft and cannibalism.

( various starters for post-town meeting talks in the comments! i'm totally open to threading out stuff with more people, just hit me up through a pm to this journal or hit me up on plurk at queeningsquare!)

Comments

[notarat]

It really is all they can do here, right? Be lucky. Be there for each other. It isn't easy, and it certainly isn't a guarantee that bad shit won't happen all over again - which is probably the part that gets to him the most, out of everything. It's much easier to feel a little bit more at ease when he feels like he's at least got some control, but Billy isn't quite sure whether he has any here at all.

He frowns. His hand moves to twist the ring on his finger just a little bit, like he often does when he's nervous. It helps keep the flames from coming out.

"Have you ever dealt with anything like this, Miss Frazer?"

Not really this entire situation, because-- well, they're both dealing with it now. It's more likely he means the more recent and specific topic of someone who just loves getting themselves into trouble. Billy does kind of figure that is Chloe to other people who have to deal with her, but considering she does seem to have some more impulse control than Hickey, maybe she does have experience with this. Maybe there's some more tips hidden somewhere, anything that can make Billy feel like he can do something to put himself more at ease.

[desperate_times_right]

“You probably guessed that usually I'm on the other side of this.” She's typically the one taking the unnecessary risks and stressing everyone out. “I think I kind of get how Nate and Elena feel now.”

Nadine too, maybe, but it's harder to imagine how Nadine might feel about things for some reason.

“Not that I don't worry about my people, but a lot of times they're in danger because of me.”

[notarat]

.. exactly what he did imagine then, huh. A part of him wishes that the people she names were here, just so Billy would for once have someone to commiserate with when it comes to this. Maybe they'd even be willing to help keep an eye out for Hickey if he told them he was keeping an eye out for Chloe.

"Don't you feel bad for putting them in danger then?"

Considering she did admit she worries about them. Billy honestly isn't too sure if Cornelius ever even stops to worry about him in the first place. Not even in any malicious way, but-- that guy is so stuck in his thoughts about himself that Billy is never too sure how much of him even lives among those. Same with Chloe, though she surprised him by sticking up for him today when she didn't have to.

[desperate_times_right]

“Course I do, but I can't always predict when they're going to decide to be stupid.”

Nate showing up on that train after everything else he’d done in Nepal had nearly given her a heart attack.

“I know they mean well, but even now I'm not really used to having someone in my corner.”

[notarat]

"You can't claim I have ever been stupid," he points out.

.. only to have a realization a moment later. One that makes him add:

"Today's matters do not count. I was just making sure nothing would happen to Cornelius." Though, you know, defending Hickey and continuing to stay with him in these circumstances might actually be you deciding to be stupid, Billy. Just a thought.

[desperate_times_right]

“You came back for me. In the fire.” She still thinks about that. “I’d say that was pretty stupid.”

[notarat]

It's a foggy memory to think back on, really. Even if Billy tries, he can't remember exactly why he came back. It had likely just been something instinctive, given just how much he had been running on emotion in that moment. It's all a panicked haze in his mind, especially months later.

He twists his ring a little.

"That fire was not real," he points out, even though it sure felt real in the moment. And even though he isn't sure what would have happened if either of them had stayed behind in the fire. Maybe it really had been possible to die back there. (He doesn't want or care to find out.)

There's a pause, and then added a touch more quietly: "And even though I could not have known back then, maybe a part of me was aware how much less bearable this place would be without you in it."

After all, what are you supposed to do without good company here? Freeze your ass off? Life is only bearable here to Billy thanks to the people around him he actually likes.

[desperate_times_right]

They hadn't known at the time that the fire wasn't real, but Chloe doesn't get a chance to needle Billy about it because the second declaration slips between her ribs like a knife.

"Yeah," she says, suddenly a bit subdued. She's not good with emotions. "You know I'll always be on your side."

[notarat]

Definitely something they're both not too great with. But Billy is able to get out the words when he makes himself realize he's just being honest, and-- despite his difficulty with these things, he can't deny that he's glad to hear those words from her. They are words that he's quick to distrust when they come from most people, but.. he wants to trust them when Chloe is saying them. She's one of the few rare exceptions that slip right past his usual guard.

".. well, then it doesn't count, does it?"

He says - flipping right back into the topic from a moment before, likely aware how awkward they might get otherwise.

"I was making an investment into my future when I came back for you. I would not call that stupid. You are a resourceful woman." Especially since she's apparently willing to beat people up for him. Which is a great thing when you're a lanky beanstalk with no arm strength, and your only other resort is barbecuing someone on the spot.

[desperate_times_right]

Chloe laughs, and the mild tension of a moment before breaks. “Well! When you put it that way…”

She winks at him. “Everyone has their moments of stupidity, except for genius planner William Gibson, who is playing the long game.”