singillatim | [closed] future proving

Entry tags:

[closed] future proving

Who: Cornelius Hickey & Billy Gibson
What: drinking some tea, having a vision, trying not to freak out
When: vague times in mid-late August
Where: outside of Milton

Content Warnings: Terror typical warnings apply, though with a particular focus on gore, body horror, self-mutilation.

It was supposed to just be a nice little walk in the woods. Hickey knew that he needed an extra pair of hands that day: there was a good patch of mushrooms a little way out that he found in his wanderings, and he knew he wouldn't be able to carry the mushrooms as well as any game he might catch. So that's what Billy was for, dragged out to the outskirts of Milton with a lot of flattery, eyelash batting, and promises that Hickey may or may not intend to keep.

He certainly wasn't expecting to see the smoke of a campfire on the distance.

"C'mon," Hickey says, as he gives Billy a little nudge with his elbow. "Don't know who's out there, but whoever it is, maybe they've got food."

And if they've got food, Hickey can steal and/or eat some! Absolutely perfect.

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Honestly, Billy didn't really mind going out with the other into the woods - even if he might have made Hickey work for it just a little, just so the other knows he can't get away with anything. But if it's about getting them food, Billy doesn't mind coming along with Hickey to secure those mushrooms he was talking about.

The minding part of it all starts to kick in much more when the other thinks it's a great idea to approach someone with a campfire out in the woods. Surely that can't be anyone from town - they'd have the good sense to not be doing this all the way out here, right? Of course he's immediately suspicious enough to not like the idea of this at all, but before he's even got the chance to remark anything about it, Billy notices the shorter man already heading in the direction of the smoke.

Of course he would.

"Cornelius--" he starts, lowering the volume of his voice a little so they're not loudly approaching whoever may be over there like a bunch of idiots, but his tone is a hiss of alarm and worry all the same.

When he jogs a few steps to catch up with the other, he adds: "Just be cautious."

Because he knows that talking an idea out of Cornelius Hickey's head is often impossible, and it's not a battle he cares to fight right now in the middle of nowhere. "We don't know who would be out here."

"I'm always cautious," whispers the man who very rarely is cautious. Hickey rolls his eyes, a bit dramatically, before quietly pointing out, "Besides, I've got my knife on me. Something goes wrong, I'll stab them, you'll set them on fire, or I'll rip their throat out."

Just a cavalier little mention of violence. Whatever this place has given them, Hickey views it as a gift. As something useful and wonderful. Why not use it if needed?

When they approach the old woman, Hickey's demeanor shifts. He's nice, kind, perfectly willing to make idle chit-chat. See Billy? He can play nice if needed. He can blend in with everybody else. No need to worry! He keeps up the chit-chat as she offers them a cup of tea. "Well, if you insist," Hickey says, with zero hesitation and zero concept that there are ten billion ways that this can go south. Nope! Sorry, Billy! Hope it's not poisoned, because you're being voluntold to drink this tea.

I'm always cautious, says the man who just decides to drink tea from a mysterious old woman in the middle of the woods like it's nothing. Billy is definitely playing that little statement from Hickey on repeat in his mind as he's sitting there, a thousand yard exasperated stare in his eyes the more he thinks about the contrast.

The only reason he's not straight up throwing away the tea is the thought that this woman might not be what she seems, and perhaps she's capable of doing even worse if he doesn't drink.

So he'll drink, having no other choice. But he's keeping an eye on Hickey, and Billy will be damned sure to not sip the tea until after Hickey has done so and hasn't instantly dropped dead from it. Look, if your husband makes dumb choices, he can also be the guinea pig here!

Entirely unaware that he's being the guinea pig in this situation, Hickey takes a sip of the tea. And then he pauses, staring off into space for a moment as a scene from what he knows is his future races through his mind.

'Bugger Mary, bugger Joseph! Bugger the Archbishop of Canterbury! None of them ever wanted nothing from me!'
He can see the god arrive, he can see that bear that's a god that's his equal running up to him. And Hickey puts his knife to his mouth. It's painful, it's easily one of the greatest hurts Hickey's had in his life, but out of pain blossoms something new. He can take this.
Crozier is doing something. Magnus is doing something. But Hickey can't see them. Hickey doesn't want to see them. It's just him and that creature as he offers it his severed tongue.
Tuunbaq chomps down on his hand. As he feels the crunch of bones, it's obvious that Hickey isn't expecting this. And then the bear picks him up and shakes him like a rag doll, like a predator shaking it's prey. He can feel his bones crack, his muscles strain, what the hell is tearing—

And he's back to normal, staring off into space, face pale as snow. Based on his breathing, Hickey's about to hyperventilate and is desperately trying to regain control.

Billy hasn't even drank of the tea yet himself by the time Hickey is already snapping out of it - though maybe the way the other is looking right now is part of the reason he isn't sipping the tea, if it's apparently doing this to someone.

He does glance in the direction of the old woman, but.. she seems to be gone entirely, like she was never there in the first place. Even though she had been chatting with Hickey only a moment ago. Of course, yet another strange trick of this place, but--

Not like he has the time to focus on her disappearance when Billy has hardly ever seen Hickey like this.

"Cornelius?" The reaction is bad enough that it has even Billy sounding openly concerned without holding any of it back. He reaches out, placing a hand on the other's arm. Shit, was that tea really poison?

"I'm fine," Hickey says, as he takes a few deep breaths, trying hard to steady himself. He's fine. This is fine. Everything is fine. He just needs to take a moment to center himself, to calm himself down.

He is pale as a ghost.

After a moment, Hickey looks up at Billy to ask, "Did you see that?"

He shakes his head. So quickly that it seems instinctive - like he's answering the question before fully considering its implications. Maybe he's far too busy thinking about how the other is clearly not fine, despite his answer.

The implications that seem to hit him on a moment later, his eyebrows pulled together into a tight frown.

"What did you see?" The look in his eyes - while concerned - is also definitely saying that Hickey better not attempt to tell a dumb lie on this one, because Billy is going to know.

Fortunately, for once in his life, Hickey's too rattled to lie. He takes a moment to take another breath, not entirely sure how to phrase this, before,

"I knew what I was planning to do back home. What I was going to do about that bear. I saw the results. Watched myself act out my plan before my eyes. I heard my own voice, saw my own actions...then watched myself get torn in half by that thing."

A few details are omitted. Hickey sawing his tongue out. Offering it up to tuunbaq. His thought processes behind said actions. He knows Billy will have questions, he knows Billy will ask about this but also...just give him a minute, okay guys?

He is being merciful here, okay. Being merciful involves actually not saying I told you so out loud, despite the fact that he is very much thinking it. Of course Crozier didn't lie about that entire thing. That would be an entirely insane thing to make up out of nowhere, out of all possible scenarios their former captain could have made up as to what would happen in the future back home. Apparently the only way Hickey could also learn that it's the truth and a terribly bad idea is by witnessing the result for himself, apparently, if the sight of it has left him so shaken.

So he doesn't say it. (Or pull out the obvious parallel to the dumb thoughts Hickey is having in regards to the Darkwalker here. He will talk about that one for sure, just-- later, he figures.) Billy doesn't even ask any questions just yet while Hickey still seems so sunken into his own thoughts and feelings on the entire matter. He just moves his hand a little bit more properly onto the other's arm as he says, his voice a little softer: "None of that will happen if you don't go back."

No 'if we go back', because.. you know. Billy can't go back. Hickey's fate may have been death in the future, but Billy's fate has very much been death already. He has no choice either way.

The thought that Billy would say 'I told you so' or 'what were you expecting, dummy' doesn't cross Hickey's mind. Because of course Billy would be expecting good things, of course Billy would think Hickey's ideas were good and smart and made sense, why wouldn't he? Everybody should think that Hickey's ideas were smart!

But there's one phrase that jolts him out of his own head. He looks over at Billy with a small frown before giving him a wry smile and musing,

"Never planned on going back in the first place. After all, 's not like you're around back home. I'm taking advantage of this place, this world, as long as I can. It's just...unnerving seeing your death like that, yeah?"

.. something in his facial expression softens to match his tone from a moment ago when he hears the other speak. Billy sure didn't expect Hickey to say something so relatively sweet, but maybe it manages to touch him even more exactly because it's so surprising. It's not like Billy doesn't know in theory about the fact that Hickey cares that he's still around in this place, but-- it's nice to actually hear it like this.

It also has the helpful side effect that he's keeping any potentially bitchy comments to himself, even though it would be very easy to point out that yeah, Billy sure knows what it's like to experience death, bud!!! But even if Billy enjoys being petty, he thinks he enjoys hearing this even more.

So--

"I imagine." --instead his answer is more reassuring. Hickey can have a little validation as a treat. Billy's hand is still on the other too, not moving. "I wouldn't want to see that happen to you either."

That much is very true, at least.

"All the more reason to be careful in this place to ensure that does not repeat itself here, right?"

Yay, validation, it's his favorite thing ever.

But Billy, once again, is right. That's what matters the most. Don't let this happen again, don't let yourself die. Obviously, he's got to be careful and got to take things slowly. He's got to have an even better plan when he ends up meeting with the Darkwalker to show the god just how worthy he is. He's got to have accounted for all variables.

The sunk cost fallacy is for losers!

"Yeah," Hickey nods. "Yeah, you're right. We've got a roof over our heads here. You're alive. Even in the scant months, we've had more food than we had those last few months on Terror—and say what you want, but the food here isn't poisoning us. We're fine. Everything's fine. And I'm not gonna let anything here take me out like that bear did."

Well, Billy can't not address the elephant in the room when Hickey is putting it that way, right? Because he'll agree with everything else. The food situation is better here than it had been back home, they're both alive, they can be themselves openly for the most part. Considering Billy isn't even cold as all hell anymore at all times, he doesn't think their deal here is so bad.

.. aside from one thing. One thing that has to do with the last part of what Hickey mentions.

Billy's expression doesn't get angry or upset or anything, but there's some more worry sneaking in, the more he thinks about it.

"Anything?" He asks. There's a slight beat, like he's hoping Hickey will get what he means, but then he does elaborate by adding: "Are you including the Darkwalker in that?"

That elaboration is needed as Hickey just kind of stars at Billy for a moment before he clarifies. And honestly, the clarification...doesn't help. He knows that Billy's worried about the Darkwalker. But Hickey's not. Hickey absolutely isn't.

"The Darkwalker's not going to kill me," Hickey says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, absolutely unaware of the irony of saying that right after he got a vision of another supernatural beast wrecking his shit.

"Besides, I'd have to know more about it before getting to that point. I haven't even seen the thing in person."

....

Billy's kind of got a thousand year stare going on here. There's just something about Hickey having just seen that memory and then immediately boldly moving on into that statement that feels impossible. It's like slapstick. But the worst possible kind of it.

It's a good thing that he remembers emotional control is kind of important when a lack of it means you're setting fires, so he takes in a deep breath before he asks, his tone a little more flat due to the internal exasperation: "Why would it not kill you, Cornelius?"

Enlighten him. Go ahead.

Is he in trouble?

He kind of feels like he's in trouble.

It is very telling that Hickey takes a moment, takes just a few seconds to pause and think and make sure that this is the right thing to say. After a moment, he points out,

"It's only been killing a few people, yeah? That bear, tuunbaq, it killed whoever it could get close to. But the Darkwalker's targeting people. It's choosing them. If it's smart enough to do that, then it's smart enough to have a good side. It's smart enough to be reasoned with."

To be fair - and this is being really, really fair, a little too fair, actually - it's not like there is not some sort of point in what Hickey is saying. It's true that the bear was a little more preoccupied with killing absolutely anyone who came near it, while the Darkwalker does seem to be picking and choosing, even though its attacks seem on par with the bear's own in the sense of how randomly timed they are. Does Billy think this makes the being logical or reasonable in any way though?

Of course not.

It's why doesn't necessarily seem impressed by the other's answer.

"And what would you say to reason with it?"

Maybe he's hoping that if he makes Hickey speak of this enough, the other will realize how ridiculous his own point is. (It's a pointless hope, though, Billy..)

"Well, I'd ask it what it wants," Hickey points out, like it's obvious. "Besides, I think I've accomplished that already! It was the one causing chaos and making us all act that way a few months ago, I murdered that guy."

And because Hickey knows he should say this, "Which I know I shouldn't have done and caused us more trouble than I thought, but point still stands, y'know?"

There is something to be said for the fact that Hickey bothers to say that at all. Not that much, but look, he is at least bothering to try and save face in front of Billy, which means he does care about not totally pissing him off.

Though he doesn't think about that for long. Instead he can't help but think of an obvious question that comes forth from what Hickey is saying here.

"And if that thing would tell you to murder everyone here?" It does seem like what the Darkwalker is after, considering what happened under its influence.. "Then would you?"

"Course not," said with zero hesitation. "I've got mates. I've got you."

Even back home, even when Hickey was offering up various coworkers to tuunbaq, it wasn't everybody. If Billy had lived, he wouldn't be on that chain. He didn't fit in that way. There are people here who Hickey would murder, yeah. But there are others that he wouldn't.

"You're not my only mate here, after all. There are others I'm focused on as well."

Ah, yes. The internal conflict between actually feeling weirdly touched by the answer, while also knowing that it's not like murdering the rest of town except for the handful of people Hickey likes isn't exactly something he should be encouraging - for practical reasons, if nothing else.

Maybe it's why Billy pauses for a moment before letting out a little sigh.

".. Look, Cornelius. I would prefer you stay away from that monster altogether." Obviously. "But I also know that is not going to happen, no matter what I say." Also obviously. He knows Hickey too well. He knows the things the other can't resist for whatever weird reason.

"So all I am asking is for you to be careful. Actually careful."

Look, some people just deserve to get murdered and that's a fact! Don't be weird about it, Billy.

There's a moment where Billy talks that Hickey's silent, listening. And honestly? This...is better than he expected? Even if Billy would prefer Hickey to stay away from the Darkwalker, it's not like he knows where the thing goes. It's not like he has eyes on it at all times. He's just a man, y'know? And that thing is so much more.

But careful. He can do careful. He's good at careful.

"I'm not ruining what we've got here," Hickey says, with a nod. He's well aware that this world is eons better than the one back home, and that includes the horrible monsters. "You don't have to worry. I'll be careful."

See, this is always the difficult thing with Hickey. Billy is at least pretty good at this point at telling whether or not Hickey is telling a lie, and Billy is pretty sure the other's words right now aren't a lie.

But that doesn't mean Hickey might not ruin what he's got here all the same. Or what they all have here. Even if Hickey's intentions with this entire thing seem-- not the worst, if Billy is being very charitable, there's always the chance of him getting stupid and reckless about it. A big chance of that, in fact.

What is Billy going to do about that though. Clearly there's nothing he can do. So even though he sure doesn't sound enthusiastic about it, he sighs and says: ".. alright."

He glances for a moment at the spot where the old woman had been until they had drank the tea, now long gone.

"We should get going to go get those mushrooms."

"We should," Hickey says, with a nod. Back to normal. No dwelling on his death. No dwelling on their circumstances or anything back home. Just Hickey and Billy, here, in the moment, getting mushrooms. He's fine. This is fine.

That being said, Hickey's still going to reach over and take Billy's hand, giving it a little reassuring squeeze. Whether it's for Billy's benefit or Hickey's, it's hard to say.

"They're not too far from here. Let's get moving."

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[closed] future proving

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