singillatim | open | leave the horror here

[He wouldn't have listened to any protests even if she had continued them. Once Rorschach was set on a course of action, he could be frightfully stubborn and it was nearly impossible to change his mind.]

Who can?

[There was something almost humorous in his words, though it was hard to tell given his usual flat tone.

He stayed silent as he walked beside her. Rorschach had never been much of a talker, not at any point during his entire life, though it had gotten worse over the past ten years as his verbal skills had atrophied.

In contrast, internally he remained hypervigilante for anything that might have represented danger around them. His self-appointed purpose here was to protect people and he would not fail in that duty.]

Good point.

[ There's the tiniest of wan smiles at her lips and she shakes her head. She is, however, content to fall mostly into silence for the walk. She makes little comments here and there throughout that silence, though. Things she notices: 'it's pretty neat how we can see all the stars here. I thought Arcadia Bay was super clear, but it's nothing like this.' or 'it's weird how many houses are already boarded up. I wonder why people moved away'.

Things that don't necessarily need answers from him, that can let him remain in that silence while he concentrates on keeping a look out. Although, eventually she does get curious enough about one thing in particular. ]

Do you mind... if I ask you something? [ There's a long beat before she adds. ] You don't have to explain, if you don't want to, either—

I just... wondered why you wore a mask? I guess it's pretty good for the cold, but— it's not just for that, is it?

[ The material it's made of, how it seems to move. It's definitely something from home. ]

[He didn't speak at any of the times Kate does, never one much to fill in the blank spaces with words, though he could see she wasn't really expecting him to and was glad that the girl recognized he wasn't the type to be coaxed into conversation even with the best efforts.

Kate's question made one of his gloved hands come up and touch his face with an automatic air to his movements as he stopped walking for a moment. He knew the possibility of the people here asking about his face was high but he'd still be unprepared for the question.

Fortunately, having had his prison psychiatrist Dr. Malcolm ask him similar questions did mean at least he had an answer he'd used in the past that was recent enough he could recall it. He gave her the same kind of answer now.]

Wanted a face I could stand to look at in the mirror. So I made one.

[It was far more than he'd usually say on any subject, though still less than the paragraphs it would have taken to truly interpret the complicated emotions that had led to him adopting the mask as his true face.]

[ Kate stops as he does. It's not an answer she expects to him, and it's a startling one. Enough to make her pause and stare at him a little in stunned silence. He... wanted a face he could stand to look at in a mirror—? ]

You... don't like your face? [ Is she getting that right? ] Or.. you're ashamed of it? But... why?

[ She asks it before she thinks to stop herself, and then she does stop herself belatedly. ]

Now I know I'm being nosy, I'm sorry. [ She's sheepish for a moment. ] It just... that sounds so sad.

[Rorschach was taken aback when she said she thought what he did was sad. It was the bare minimum of human connection but it still left him off-balance. He was so used to his self-imposed solitude and the lack of interaction with other people that the idea of anyone feeling anything other than anger, fright, or hatred towards him was a completely foreign concept. His body language reflected that confusion, the way he put his hands in his pockets only to take them back out again, fidgety in a situation he didn't fully understand.

As a result of his puzzlement, he struggled with a reply, hard-pressed to put what he was feeling into words. But he tried.]

Not sad. Person I was before was weak. Flawed. Fallible. Better this way now. Able to protect without distractions or confusion. Morals and principles are much clearer. See things without vision clouded by doubt.

... I think— being flawed is what makes us Human. God make us perfect, [ In His own image. ] but we're imperfect too, you know?

[ Perfection, being a better person is something to be worked at. You can't just read about being perfect, you have to work at it. In deeds, thoughts, words. That's what she believes, at any rate.

But she considers it for a long moment, thoughtful. He's a little... restless about the whole thing, like he doesn't know what to do with himself. She's certainly not going to look down on him, or think he's wrong just because he thinks like that. ]

But... being Human is hard, too. Maybe the hardest thing to be. [ God Himself knows her own struggles with it, as He knows all. ] I can see why anyone would want things to be clearer.

[This wasn't the first time Kate had brought up God during one of their conversations and he was beginning to see a pattern forming.]

Strange little Bible-thumper.

[He hadn't exactly intended to say that out loud but there it was, his mouth not quite stopping before his thoughts had been said. Still, he didn't say the words with any sort of meanness or condescending nature. Indeed, there was something almost close to affection in his tone, which stood out given how flat his voice usually was. Kate was beginning to grow on him.

So often, he'd seen people use scripture for their own ends, perverting the words God had set down for their own use. By contrast, Kate seemed rather earnest and well-meaning every time she had brought up God.]

[ There's no meanness, no. Certainly no kind of meanness she's known for her believes from the other kids at school. But it certainly gives her enough pause to make her purse her lips and raise her eyebrows just a little, voicing a soft: um. He really just... called her that, didn't he?

Just as well she's too polite to say anything. ]

.... I try not to be... preachy. [ Is the answer she settles on after a long pause. ] I... run an abstinence campaign at my school, but I'm not going to scream at people that they're going to Hell just because they want to do... that stuff.

[His head tilted to the side and his "face" made the "surprised expression" that the blots created when he was feeling that particular emotion.]

You believe in abstinence?

[Again, his tone wasn't condescending, cruel, or mocking. Instead, there was genuine surprise in it and something approaching approval. Rorschach hadn't thought anyone still believed in waiting for marriage before having sex, especially with how absolutely chaotic teenagers could be. They seemed to be driven by their hormones and gave into any little impulse that ran through their brains, which often seemed to be the same size as those of squirrels.

Kate could have been lying, just trying to come across as a good girl while secretly being a whore like so many women were. But there was such an earnestness to her nature that would have been hard for someone more hard-edged to duplicate, something that came across as very genuinely sweet and, yes, pure. If she was hiding behind a façade, she had to be one of the best actresses Rorschach had ever encountered.]

I do, yeah. [ Wholly serious in that. ] Like, I know some people do that... um, kind of stuff, I'm not dumb. And like, that's their business.

[ 'Kind of stuff', once again. She can't even put the real words to it, but she knows what it is. She lives in a girl's dorm at a high school. She's well aware that some of the girls have boyfriends, and she's well aware of the lack of abstinence going on at Blackwell. ]

But it's not for me, I don't believe in it. I wanna wait until I get married, because it's important. [ Important to her, at any rate. And she's sincere in those words. ] And it's important that people know that it's an option, too.

[He listened very carefully to what Kate was saying, his entire body having gone very still the way it did when he was on a long stakeout. It warmed his heart to hear what Kate was telling him. He thought himself perceptive enough to tell when someone was telling the truth, at least about things that were clearly important to them. Kate clearly believed every word that she was saying. He could hear the sincerity in her tone.

It was astounding. He wouldn't have been more surprised if a unicorn had suddenly appeared and walked up to them in the middle of the snow than to find a young woman in town who honestly believed in the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex.

Oh, that he could have had someone like this around when he was sixteen. Maybe he wouldn't have ended up as terrified by women as he was when he was a teenager if he wasn't afraid they'd want more than he was able to give either physically or emotionally. He'd been so shy and withdrawn back then he hadn't even been able to talk to girls his own age. His issues with sex had only gotten worse with age until he'd ended up as he currently was.

Something shifted in Rorschach then. Before his desire to protect Kate had just been something nebulous, the same way it was for anyone else in town. Now it was more specific. A girl pure as this needed someone to watch out for her, especially in a town with a predominantly male population. He was going to be that person for her, though he'd never explicitly say that out loud.

What did shift on the surface was the tone of his voice. Whereas he usually was completely devoid of emotions when he spoke to people, he sounded almost...warm when he next spoke. He wasn't as closed off anymore in the way he carried himself, standing with less tension in his frame.]

You are one of the good ones.

[ It's a surprising thing to hear, in a way. Maybe it's because she's been so used to being ridiculed by it as of late. But it makes her wonder... why. Is she good just because she mentioned the abstinence thing? Or is it a quietly calculated of everything he's learned about her so far?

(And it's funny, considering he'd said he didn't think God listened to him.)

She would never dare declare herself good, especially not over others. She's trying her best in life, and it's certainly up to God to decide whether it's enough. But even then, it's... kinda kind of him to note it, and there's a tiny smile. ]

It's... what I'm trying to be. [ Isn't that what any of them are? People just... trying to be good? Kind? Patient? Humble? ]

I try to be a good person. Because... that's important, too. Even when sometimes it's hard to be. Maybe especially when it's hard to be.

[ Especially in a place like this one. ]

[Rorschach agreed.]

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

[If he'd wanted anything else in life like money or power, he could have gotten it easily just by discarding his morals and principles. Keeping hold of them was one of the reasons he'd become a superhero. The fact Kate had managed to remain good and kind even in a place like this spoke a lot about her character.

He took a look around at where they were at. They'd walked quite a distance.]

Back to the hall?

[He suggested.]

No, it's really not. [ Still she smiles. Because something being difficult isn't going to put her off, especially when it's something so worthwhile — like he says.

She looks around as he does, mouth twisting to the side slightly. Mm, probably might be a good idea to head back. It's pretty cold out too. ]

Yeah. [ Kate nods. Maybe she can try to sleep again now she's kind of... cleared her head a bit. ] Thanks for walking with me.

[He had that strange, odd startled movement run through him again when Kate told him thanks for walking with her, the same as when she'd thanked him before. Such a strange and polite girl to be thanking him for things he did without thought. Protecting others was in his nature, especially someone young and helpless like he perceived Kate to be.

Then he brushed it off. In a gruff but not angry tone, he said:]

Welcome.

[Then back he went with her to the Community Hall, always hovering close like some sort of guardian angel.]

open | leave the horror here

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cw: misogyny, slut shaming mentions

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would you be cool with us moving to wrap this one? i feel like it's coming to a nice end

Okey dokey! 👍

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That's a wrap!