Deputy US Marshal Givens (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tinstar) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
singillatim2024-10-02 07:35 pm
tinstar) wrote in singillatim2024-10-02 07:35 pm
Soap and hot water isn't enough to wash away the sin
Who: Raylan and possibly you?
What: Lil tiny post event log for recovery and secret feelings
Where: Around Milton + Hot Springs
When: Early October
The stink of death and murder was a hard one to wash off when you only had a pot and a rag and whore's baths weren't cutting it anymore. Raylan was able to stand it all of a day and a half before he and Goose are trudging slowly and painstakingly up towards the hot springs with a filled pack on his back. The plan? Build a fire, lay out clean(er) clothes, and scrub as much of the blood and dirt and Everything off him as the soap and hopefully hot water could get. He had to be careful around his freshly stitched wounds but they weren't deep enough to cause too much concern and he was sure there was some hippy-dippy reason that mountain hot water was good for that, actually. His shoulders and hands would be glad for a soak and he didn't anticipate having any issues around other people seeing him naked. Ladies maybe, but he hoped he was lucky.
Goose wasn't there to bathe, just to keep him company while he tries step one in the handbook for 'How to Feel Human again'.
Despite the ache of Raylan's movement, gait slower than normal with a little hitch in his left side, he didn't have enough whiskey to stay home and brood. So he went to work, carrying a beaten, wooden toolbox around, loaded with as many tools as he thought would be useful, and knocked on house doors where it looked both like someone might live and also like it had gotten the shit kicked out of it. Houses that were too far gone were looked over, picked through and it didn't feel much different than the corpse robbing he'd done himself not so long ago. Reasonable people will argue that it's better that goods went with the living, was useful. That didn't make him feel any better about it.
That should keep him busy and not thinking for a few days, or exhaust him to the point of not thinking anymore which was nearly as good.
He's fine, this is fine.
What: Lil tiny post event log for recovery and secret feelings
Where: Around Milton + Hot Springs
When: Early October
Hot Springs
The stink of death and murder was a hard one to wash off when you only had a pot and a rag and whore's baths weren't cutting it anymore. Raylan was able to stand it all of a day and a half before he and Goose are trudging slowly and painstakingly up towards the hot springs with a filled pack on his back. The plan? Build a fire, lay out clean(er) clothes, and scrub as much of the blood and dirt and Everything off him as the soap and hopefully hot water could get. He had to be careful around his freshly stitched wounds but they weren't deep enough to cause too much concern and he was sure there was some hippy-dippy reason that mountain hot water was good for that, actually. His shoulders and hands would be glad for a soak and he didn't anticipate having any issues around other people seeing him naked. Ladies maybe, but he hoped he was lucky.
Goose wasn't there to bathe, just to keep him company while he tries step one in the handbook for 'How to Feel Human again'.
General - Around Milton
Despite the ache of Raylan's movement, gait slower than normal with a little hitch in his left side, he didn't have enough whiskey to stay home and brood. So he went to work, carrying a beaten, wooden toolbox around, loaded with as many tools as he thought would be useful, and knocked on house doors where it looked both like someone might live and also like it had gotten the shit kicked out of it. Houses that were too far gone were looked over, picked through and it didn't feel much different than the corpse robbing he'd done himself not so long ago. Reasonable people will argue that it's better that goods went with the living, was useful. That didn't make him feel any better about it.
That should keep him busy and not thinking for a few days, or exhaust him to the point of not thinking anymore which was nearly as good.
He's fine, this is fine.
no subject
"You got a kid here?" Always with a shocking something, Bigby, but at least this one is more normal to Raylan. He had assumed that Bigby had people he was invested in but a kid was not on his proverbial Bingo card. "Damn. Yeah, lucky is right. But good, less work to do. I'm lookin' to keep my hands busy and I can only deliver so much firewood around, so I'm focusin' on tryin' to save what structures I can, or fix damage that needs fixin'... You ever notice that the Community roof is startin' to lean?"
Firewood including to Snow's earlier the previous day. He was starting to patrol, though he didn't quite feel and understand it as such yet. It was just moving, because that was better. He didn't know Bigby had lived here, but there was something of an understanding of connection between them for Raylan now.
no subject
"Is it? Just what we could use right about now," he says, an obvious touch of sarcasm in his voice, even if it's aimed at this place rather than at Raylan.
This place does love throwing many things at once at them, after all.
"Thankfully we got you looking after it then. I can do a lot of stuff, but I've never tried fixing a roof before." He sighs, before realizing he passes over a point, adding: "And-- yeah, I have a kid here. Kind of made me realize how you must feel, hearing all the shit about the place I come from, 'cause that's how I felt when he showed up. I don't have kids, y'know. Not yet, I mean."
Bigby doesn't make it too explicit just yet, but it's probably not all that hard to draw some lines between the dots here to see what he means - a kid coming from his own future, one he didn't even know about yet.
no subject
So focusing on the mental corkboard of everyone he knew, all the little edges and corners of them that he got to see and learn about is it's own kind of welcome distraction.
"Man can't raise a roof alone, I'm gonna hav'ta start recruitin'." Which will include Bigby and possibly his future son.
"Least I know mine's on the way." Watching Bigby's expression as he wades into the subject further, he tilts his head a little and asks the question carefully. It was a whole can and Raylan knew the Rules™ most men had about talking about feelings, himself included.
"A good surprise? He full grown or-"
no subject
Bigby has a feeling that he's going to be part of that recruitment, and he doesn't really mind, but-- it's probably easier to get the more difficult topic out of the way first before returning to something more simple, he thinks.
"As full grown as can be." Even by human standards, he figures. Better to not confuse Raylan further by bringing more Fable business into it.
Bigby pauses after it though.
The Rules™ about talking about feelings, indeed.
".. It's just weird," he settles on. "I guess I'm kind of getting used to it now, but.. well, if you weren't really planning on maybe ever having kids, it's kinda weird when one of them suddenly stands in front of you as a grown ass person."
no subject
Raylan nods a little, humming a short note of acknowledgement.
"I can't even imagine that. I mean, I went my whole life never wantin' kids at all. That changed all of ten months ago, and she ain't even born yet. I know she's comin' and I can't imagine bein' used to it anymore than I can imagine her bein' full grown."
So you've got his sympathies.
"It all.. goin' well?"
no subject
It's very much an 'it is what it is' kind of gesture. He isn't really sure how to answer any other way. It does seem to be going better than he anticipated, but he also feels like evaluating his own ability to be a dad isn't really something he should be doing.
So a shrug is what Raylan is getting.
Though there's a little more after. Not an answer to the question, but a reaction to what the other is saying. The Rules™ would usually prevent him asking about this, but Bigby also figures Raylan wouldn't be bringing it up if he didn't want to talk about it at all. So-- "What made you change your mind about having kids?"
CW: Noncon c-section, attempted child... marketing? Selling?
"Had a transport case takin' a pregnant woman from prison to a hospital for the birth. She gave me and my partner the slip to go and meet someone to help induce her labor. I believe the idea was that they'd sell the baby. Anyway, somethin' went sideways like it always does in those kinda situations and it turned into a kidnappin' an' almost an involuntary C-Section." All of that was spun out with his drawl and easy going way like it was just matter of fact, but something in his face goes a little more serious, tone taking on a 'far away', disconnected from the cold nothing they stood in.
"But she fought like hell. For that baby and the possibility she couldn't walk away from, in the end. I dunno. For the love of it. For the hope that maybe I can bring up someone who's gonna be better than I am. Have better than I did.." A beat passes and he blinks back out of his little thoughtfulness, glancing over briefly at Bigby as he shifts on his feet, suddenly a little self conscious.
"Family's a nice idea sometimes. Though that's assumin' we're allowed to stay."
He nods back at the house, trying to turn the conversation towards something other than his failed marriage and it's redux. "You know who the mother is?"
no subject
Apparently that's all Bigby has to say to that whole story. But maybe it's exactly the lack of words that indicates he's actually feeling quite a bit about it. Bigby is much more verbal about things when he can discuss them logically, after all. It's the emotional part he's so bad at, and he doesn't really know how to express anything he feels in the light of the other's earnest confession.
It does make Raylan sound like a good guy though. Better than Bigby.
The man is quiet for a moment, like he's waiting for better words to tell the other, as if they might pop up out of nowhere, but they don't.
He glances back at the dent in his door, shaking his head. Focusing on the question is easier. Awkward in its own ways - but easier. It has a factual answer, after all.
"He didn't want to tell me. Sounded like he was afraid of some time paradox or whatever." Judging by the way Bigby says those words - like they have air quotes around them - he doesn't necessarily believe in time paradoxes. Don't worry, Raylan, this isn't yet another weird otherworldly concept being thrown at you. "Guess now I'm going to have to consider it every time I look at a woman."
no subject
Raylan doesn't push or try to fill the silence, more comfortable with it that most people would be in light of everything that was just aired out. He simply waits - waits for Bigby to answer or brush off the question.
"That might get a little tirin', depending on how often you happen to look. Hell, I could see where not knowing is easier. There's always the next one until there's not. Keeps things open."
Until there is again, and that always comes.
no subject
At least it doesn't sound like an annoyed huff - if anything, it's a little amused, confirmed by the faint amusement lingering in Bigby's tone when he speaks up again, managing to shake off some of the awkward from a moment ago.
"Oh, don't worry. If I can be honest with you-- I don't look all that much." Look, it really is a bit of honesty to admit that. Especially when some people definitely see looking at many women as some sign of Masculinity or whatever. "Been looking at the same woman for--"
He pauses, swallowing the urge to say 'a couple of centuries,' knowing you have to be more delicate with words like that around Raylan of all people.
"--a long while now." See? Still factually correct, probably gets the message across just as well as that more literal claim would have. "Though I don't know if that makes the whole 'future son with unknown mother' thing better or worse, really."
no subject
He can't help but huff something akin to a chuckle at the last, bouncing his eyebrows once as he speaks.
"I think that one's probably about 50/50. Belated congratulations then on your parenthood..." His head tilts a little as he thinks of something, eyeing Bigby sidelong like he wasn't sure how the man would react to the question.
"I was gonna make a comment about the complexities between a son and his daddy but - Don't suppose you had a father, did ya?"
no subject
Something about the faint amusement disappears, but it doesn't change into any other emotion yet either. There's no true annoyance - it more seems like Bigby gets a little bit more serious again at that question. And not just because of the assumption, really. He can get how Raylan may think he doesn't have a father, given his nature. Easy to assume Fables just exist out of nowhere.
"That's why I am the way I am. My mother was a regular wolf, my father the North Wind." He shakes his head, perhaps sounding a bit shorter when he adds: "We're not close."
It does sound like there's something there. Maybe Raylan wasn't far off with his whole complexities line.
no subject
"The northern wind, huh? Bet you've got a hellva origin story." He takes and lets a deep breath.
"Still, I'm sure you'll figure it out. You aren't the northern wind and your kid ain't you. Things can always be better than they were. Especially when you've still got 'em after the attack." He probably wasn't the best person to be giving any kind of advice, but he felt sure enough about what he'd said. It could always be better.
no subject
It sounds a little awkward, but it's exactly the awkwardness that makes it not sound fake. Like Bigby just genuinely feels a touch awkward about it, but is saying it anyway.
"You mind helping me out with the door now? I don't want to hold you up here all day. I can come help out with that roof after." It's not like he's going to make Raylan do something and then do nothing in return, alright.
no subject
"Yeah. No time like the present. Roof'll take some planning and preppin', but if I know I've got at least a second set of hands that are willin', I can start that process. Lead the way. I got one good shoulder and two good hands, let's put 'em to use."
that's a wrap! c: thank you for the thread!
And so they go off! Time to get to work!