we're a long way from home

[singmod]

OCTOBER 2024 MINI EVENT

Interlopers will find themselves dreaming a great deal more than usual. With that, their dreams are far more vivid — as if they are reliving memories rather than dreaming. Dreams will often be sombre or frightening in nature, nightmares will be more common throughout October. Oddly enough, this is particularly prominent on Aurora nights.

But sometimes, when they dream, Interlopers will experience dreams of things they’ve never experienced before. These dreams are not their own, but of others within the Northern Territories.

FEBRUARY 1994

CONTENT WARNINGS: reference to child death; bullying; assault; head injury; blood.

You find yourself standing in the midst of Milton, but it’s not the Milton you know. The town is… alive, full of people. None of the people here are ones you recognise, though. Cabins are full and lit up, movement inside each of them. People walk about the town, going about their business. Children play, adults holler at one another, trucks and cars fight through the snow.

It is only mid-afternoon, but the skies are already growing dark. Milton is steeped in the gloom of winter, and you can feel the bitterness of the chill in the air. You’re free to walk around the town to explore but you find yourself being pulled in a particular direction for some reason. And so you walk, huddled against the cold.

Soon enough, your feet stop and you’re stood before Milton House. It’s just as any Interloper recognises it: a charred ruin of a building — destroyed by fire. The one that killed three members of the Barker family.

A girl of around ten years old before it, looking up at the house.Some won’t find her familiar, but those who have been in the house and have seen the remains of family photos within the ruins will recognise the girl. She is the daughter of the Barker family — her whereabouts after the fire unknown. Her eyes are wide, filled with horror, but she doesn’t cry.

There had been no record of the girl’s death, nor the mother. They are not buried in the church yard in Milton. While Thomas and his two young sons died in the house fire, they survived the blaze, it looks like. But there is a clear wide-open space in the story of what happened to them afterwards.

You stand with her, staring up at the house in the silence. She doesn’t speak, neither do you.

But a voice breaks that silence, and while you turn the girl does not: a group of four children, sniggering and laughing.

Hey, it’s the freak! — freak, the word is like a stab in your chest. Still staring at the house like it’s gonna build itself back again.

The girl still does not turn around, doesn’t speak. Her hands are closed into tiny, tight fists.

Bet the freak burned the house down! another child cries. Beatrice always has to Bea The Freak. Bet that’s why her Mom left!

Finally, the girl spins around — a roar of thunder as she screams back: SHUT. UP.

The earth trembles a little, the children grow afraid. The girl, Beatrice, steps back with a gasp. She shakes her head. I didn’t mean it. she says softly.

One hurls a stone. It hit smashes against Beatrice’s head and she stumbles back, blood spilling from a cut just shy of her hairline. Rage fills you, but you notice a familiar face that steps forward from behind the group. A gnarled hand reaches for the boy who threw the stone, grabbing him by the hood of his coat and wrenching him back.

Throwing stones at little girls, now? It is Methuselah. Even in his anger, he is calm — a deadly storm behind his eyes.

Hey, get off! the boy cries. Or I’ll—

You will ‘what’, child? Methuselah lets go of the boy, but stares him down. Perhaps I can enlighten your parents on just who broke the window of the Stephens’ home, if we’re so fond of enlightenment.

I didn’t, it wasn’t— there is guilt in his voice.

Am I so old I must be blind? You forget my eyes are all over this place. Methuselah’s gaze turns to all of them. Leave. Now.

The group doesn’t need told twice, running off with tails between their legs. Methuselah watches them go for a long moment before he turns, stooping to help Beatrice to her feet.

Let me see, child.

Why don’t they like me? Why don’t they ever like me? Beatrice asks.

At the root of every anger is fear. Methuselah says gently, reaching for some clean cloth from a satchel at his side to stem the bleeding. They fear what they do not understand.

I’m a freak.

No, you are not. Methuselah tells her with a gentle kind of sternness. You are different, and you are young. As are they.

Are they ever gonna ‘get it’?

Methuselah sighs. I do not know. it is said as kindly as he can. But perhaps one day, someone will. Now— we must get you seen to, come.

The girl stares at him. She doesn’t look like she believes him. Gently, he directs her away from the house, back into the centre of town. You watch them leave, and the world fizzles out.

JUNE 1992

CONTENT WARNINGS: accidental injury; blood; themes of relationship breakdowns, broken homes

It is summer. The air is thick and warm, a calm and pleasant late afternoon. The sun is still high in the sky and you know it will never get dark. You sit on a porch of a cabin in Milton, watching townsfolk return home as you work on a small carving of a bear with a pocket knife. You have been out here for hours, ever since the school kicked out, your skin warmed by the sunlight.

Cars pull into makeshift driveways, workers tiredly exiting their cars and stretching. Others have hitched rides from their coworkers: clapping shoulders and waving farewell as they walk in the direction of home — cannery workers, miners, lumber workers. Hard jobs, hard work. They say the Northern Territories are the real backbone. You wonder which of these jobs you’ll work when you grow up.

You distract yourself with these thoughts as you try to ignore the sounds of an argument coming from within the house. It’s not the first time you’ve heard them fight, but this time you can really hear the weariness in your mother’s voice as she shouts.

This is the reason why you haven’t gone inside yet.

Oh, sure. So you can run back to that cabin of yours and bury your head in the sand?

They’ve been going like this for forever. Your focus on the sculpture intensifies, dragging the knife over the wood to shape it.


My grandaddy this, ‘my grandaddy’ that! The thing’s dead, Bill! Why’re you going around acting like magic’s real. It’s not!

It’s real and it’s coming for you, me, our boy. I’m telling you, if I don’t do something then that—

It’s a bear, Bill! A stupid bear! Long dead! And your family have done nothing but chase after a damn ghost! I can’t do it anymore, you said this was done!

The knife slips in your grasp and you cut your thumb. You gasp, the sharp sting of spliced flesh. It isn’t too deep, but it hurts all the same. Blood drips from the wound. You don’t want to go inside to ask for help.

I’m done. I’m done!

The words hit like a punch, and you stare at the blood dripping down into your palm and onto the porch. The long silence doesn’t feel that long. The door swings open.

William. You turn your head to look at your mother. She doesn’t look angry anymore. There are tears in the corners of her eyes. Come on, get your stuff.

Why? You ask. Your mother inhales, her shoulders are heavy.

We’re leaving. We’re going to grandma’s

But grandma lives on the mainland. You hesitate.

William, please. You mother insists. Now.

You get to your feet, stemming the blood against your jeans.

Your mother stands on the porch to light a cigarette. As you turn into the house, your father sits in his armchair — not looking at you. There are bags already packed. The world goes dim.

SEPTEMBER 2011

CONTENT WARNINGS: themes of extreme weather; ecological disaster; death of animals

It is quiet when you open your eyes, but the sound of roaring waves and howling winds still lingers in your mind. You look around the circular room as you lay in bed, enclosed and cosy and safe. You brush your fingers against the painted brick wall at your side and smile softly. And then the ache sets in. Your limbs stiff, your muscles tense. And then the other ache, an ache you have known for a long time that greets you every time you open your eyes. The kind that meets you in the quiet. And here, there is often quiet.

Pale sunlight filters in from the windows; the storm has calmed, from what it sounds like — the waves like long, steadying breaths upon the frozen shores.

But you cannot forget the long hours of night, the cracks of thunder and the way the skies lit up with lighting streaking across the air. The churning of metal, the ships in harbour thrown about — not even the harbour was safe.

You have no idea of the damage done now that the storm is over, but in your stomach — you know it’ll be pretty bad. Still, this place has weathered plenty of storms. You had been asleep for a few hours, just as the winds had begun to die out, collapsing in your bed still dressed in your clothes a little before dawn.

Sleep muddles you, so you stoke the flames of the stove and set coffee to boil. The seabirds are noiser than usual, and you eventually take your coffee cup and hazard the outside.

The sight that greets you takes your breath away. In the cold light of morning, the devastation of the storm is obvious: destroyed fishing ships in the harbour; the strong, well-built buildings that have beaten back years of stormy weather have even taken a battering. But there’s something else that catches your eye, one that makes your stomach churn.

Out on the shoreline, where the sand meets the half-frozen sea: whale carcasses litter the landscape. You count them with your eyes, more than two dozen — beached and dead. You have never seen this many before. There are no words. There is nothing your exhausted and muddled mind can pull together. You stand for a long time, staring out at the scene in the near-distance.

And somehow, you know. You know this is but a drop in the ocean.

And then the world snaps to darkness.

FAQs

1. There will be no plotting post for the mini event.

2. Players are free to use this post to play out threads, or make their own posts.

3. Characters can have any combination of the dreams: one, two, all or none!

Comments

[dreamsofwings]

They both know that Eren's apocalypse is far worse than a storm and dead whales. (He still hasn't ever seen a whale, but he vaguely understands what one is, from a book or a memory.)

He considers. He isn't quick to dismiss this or write it off as just a dream. For one, why would Reiner's subconscious even come up with some of that? Dead whales? No titans? That doesn't sound right.

Eren's memories no longer encompass only the Attack Titan holders (or the War Hammer, or even the Founder). He saw everything stretched out forwards and backwards and all around, memories of the living and the dead, all the points that have touched the coordinate for two thousand years. He can't access them one at a time, choosing what to see and what not to. It's too much for one person to hold all at once, too much for Eren even after all the endless lifetimes he spent in the Paths trying to sort it out or find another ending.

If he hadn't been crazy before that, he sure as hell would have been after. Not that "before" and "after" are clear cut for him, but for those around him, there was probably a point of change. Reiner wouldn't have been there for it, not so directly.

There is nothing in the future that Eren sees. He can't see past his own lifespan (the end of titans, he thinks, but that part could still be wrong). He doesn't know what happens to the world he ruined, left behind, created. He doesn't think Reiner knows, either, based on context he's picked up in their interactions.

Whatever it is, it isn't dead whales. (Are there whales left? Is there anything in that churning red ocean? Even if Eren claims to know, he doesn't, he can't.)

"Obviously not," he finally agrees after being quiet for too long.

He considers. This place…can it share memories like that? If so, how can he access it? Not that Eren needs even more memories, but that might be the secret to the power here, to how to get out of its hold. He's not much of a planner, not really, but he's not always a complete idiot.

"This place is an island," he says, almost suddenly. "Someone told me that." The contempt in his voice is unmistakable. Islands, to Eren, are just cages. This place is so obviously a cage. But can't oceans be crossed?

[nohero]

Is it strange that Reiner is becoming accustomed to Eren's silences? They didn't used to exist—at least not in the way they do now. When they were Cadets, Eren's silence was the product of focus, determination burning bright even when his lips stayed shut. Now, Eren's silences are distant, seeming to focus inward instead of out; or perhaps it is outward, but not focusing on anything Reiner can see.

Reiner watches, interested despite himself. Silent in turn as Eren seems to consider his words.

There's no chance the dream is from a predecessor. Reiner can't recall generations of memories, having no blood relation to previous wielders. But he has seen enough to be confident in his conclusion.

The Armored has always been a shield: no wielder would have lived a relatively quiet life by a beach.

An island, Eren blurts out, and Reiner's eyes narrow. An island is indeed a cage. A punishment. A hell on earth (mockingly called Heaven). If that's what this place is, then…

"We need to find the ocean," Reiner declares, not even noticing his use of we. "The harbor in my dream was damaged, but not destroyed. We can track it down and get an idea of how big this island is. Any shipping records that survived will tell us how far we'd need to travel to find other settlements."

It doesn't strike Reiner as odd that he immediately accepts that this is an island. Paradis loomed large in his mind long before he ever set foot on its shores. Why wouldn't this place be an island?

[dreamsofwings]

Eren barely recognises the distance in himself. Too much happens at once. The Founder is distant from him now; without Zeke, without Ymir, he can't consciously access it no matter where or when he is. But the damage is long done, the mix of the Attack Titan's future memories, the Founder's past and present memories, and whatever Ymir's help ultimately granted him. He still has too many memories. Once they all count as his own, is there really any functional difference between what he knew from where?

Would this kind of thing happen with someone he didn't know? Yes. Would it happen in the middle of something important? A fight? Life or death? Who knows. He doesn't make any effort to hide it, the way he gets lost somewhere/when else.

In some distant place, maybe he trusts Reiner to just wait for him to check back in, to not take advantage. They're enemies, but they're the same. Eren's war has no bearing on this place at the moment. Ironically, they have to survive this so they can go back to that. Again, always, Eren just thinks not that they can't die here, but that they won't.

Reiner won't kill him. He just knows. (Maybe it's hubris.)

Slotted back into place, talking about this being an island, he's not surprised Reiner believes him. It isn't a lie, though Eren doesn't know if this really is an island. He's a liar through and through, always has been even before he knew himself, but he won't lie to Reiner unless he has no choice. Keeping pieces of the truth doesn't register to Eren the same way. Reiner never deserved his honesty after everything, but Eren's honesty was much more painful than anything he could have made up — the opposite of how things had been with Mikasa and Armin. Though he hadn't been honest in Liberio to hurt Reiner. He didn't care if it hurt, sure, but his goal had always been understanding, at the last time and place anyone could or would until time out of time in the Paths where only Eren could remember it.

We need to find the ocean.

How strange, to be we again. He accepts that.

"Okay," he says. "Let's go find it."

[nohero]

Perhaps Reiner should be less honest with Eren, hiding behind half-truths as he did when they were Cadets. But what would be the point? Eren has seen Reiner at his lowest, known him at his best and his worst. They chased each other for years, exchanging destruction until Eren's crusade led Reiner to the end of the world. Why bother trying to lie?

Besides, Reiner has always been honest by nature, even when lies would have served him better. It was part of the reason his mind shattered in Paradis, unable to withstand the weight of his own contradictions.

There is another reason for Reiner's honesty, though. One that is simply put but immensely complicated. It is the fact that Reiner trusts Eren more than anyone else in this strange world.

He does not trust Eren. But he knows Eren better than anyone. He knows that at the end of the day, Eren will always be Eren. That's something to hold onto.

And Eren being Eren, he doesn't object to what other people might consider a ridiculous goal. He says, Okay. Let's go find it.

Let's. We.

They're in this together, then.

Reiner nods, maintaining eye contact. "We'll need to gather as much intel as we can. Without our Titans, we can't risk heading off in the wrong direction."

They are human here; far too human and far too susceptible to freezing, as their reunion proved.

Thankfully, their starting point is easy. "Who told you this place was an island? How did they learn that?"

Reiner would still claim that Marcel was the leader, not him. But Reiner didn't spend nine years formulating and executing plans without learning a thing or two. His mind is already hard at work considering what he and Eren may need to safely reach the ocean.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren doesn't read whatever this is between them as trust. Reiner had broken that so long ago, just as he'd torn a hole in the wall. The sting of that betrayal haunted Eren for years, even knowing all he knew, even with the future there. It was only seeing the Marleyan internment camp, living there, that he really understood.

Understanding is not trust.

Has Eren ever really been trustworthy? He's always been likely to do whatever he wants or thinks is best. Levi tempered him down for awhile, but he learned when Levi's squad died defending him that he should choose his own power and not rely on others. (This was the wrong lesson, absolutely, but it's the one he took away from that day.)

Still…understanding is a good substitute for trust, at least here and now. Reiner is a known quantity and this is a strange sort of truce here. Them fighting each other will probably just kill both of them, Reiner's skill and Eren's viciousness.

Eren thinks about the question.

"A woman named Chloe told me that," he says, "the night the aurora made all the electric stuff turn on. Someone else — Levi, I think — told me we can't get across the lake."

He says Levi and doesn't mean Ackerman. He has never in his life called the captain by his first name and wouldn't start so casually. But it does occur to him, belatedly, to specify.

"There's this guy who's probably about my age named Levi. Weird coincidence."

As for the rest of it, he shakes his head.

"I didn't ask Chloe how she knew," he says. Of course it hadn't occurred to him. "The only other thing I know is this place is called Canada. It's…a country, I think it was." He still doesn't entirely grasp what country and nation actually mean, even with all his experience of the world.

"Where would you start, then?"

He asks because he knows he's the weakest link when it comes to plans. How much of that siege was even Eren's planning? How much of it was always Zeke's? Eren might not know entirely, not any more. He had seen it in his future memories, though he hadn't told Zeke about the Attack Titan's true power until it was the right moment (and the most dramatic). So he knew enough about it, but the planning part…well. He's still Eren.

this is so much dialogue good lordt

[nohero]

The name Levi causes Reiner's eyebrows to rise, his mind immediately jumping to the only one he knows: Levi of the Ackerman clan. Once, visions of both Ackermans—Levi and Mikasa—haunted Reiner's nightmares; his near-death experiences at their hands left scars on his mind, if not his body. But Levi counts as an ally now, one of the only people on earth still capable of opposing Eren's apocalypse.

It isn't until Eren clarifies that Reiner realizes his assumption was incorrect. He may have guessed as much, as he always refers to his own military superiors by title. But he wouldn't have picked up on the significance of Eren using Levi's name.

After Eren was whisked away to the Scouts, Reiner barely saw hide nor hair of him. He didn't witness Eren's insistent use of "Captain," or the bond Eren formed with Levi's squad, or even the meticulous cleaning habits Eren picked up. Reiner was stationed elsewhere; then he was confined with other members of the 104th; then he was a traitor.

It's odd to think of those missing months. Almost as odd as it is to think of the years Reiner spent believing Eren was confined to the other side of the ocean. Like a half-lost dream. The world has changed too much since then.

But when Eren asks him where he would start, those days on Paradis don't feel so impossibly long ago. They did this back then, didn't they? Worked together to form strategies as Cadets?

Reiner's answer to the question brings Paradis to mind as well. Only it's his time as a Warrior behind enemy lines that will help most, not his time as a soldier.

"We'll need to find any physical records we can," Reiner says. "If 'Canada' was a country, then maps exist. Travel routes would have been well-documented. Records of roads, trails, or even landmarks would be helpful. If those maps can point us toward rivers, all the better; most rivers lead to the ocean eventually. We'll also need to find out why the lake can't be crossed."

He raises a hand to his chin, his thumb idly stroking his beard as he continues, one stepping stone after another laid out in his mind. "Getting more information from locals—or from people who have been here longer—is likely necessary. However, that comes with additional risk. We were already considered enemies by one group of people here. If knowledge of the outside world is being actively hidden"—as it was in Paradis, he doesn't bother to say—"then too much curiosity will mark us as suspicious."

And the last thing Reiner wants is for someone with a mind like Erwin's to decide they're a threat.

"We also have to consider travel. Part of that includes provisions. We can stock up to a degree, but we'll need to learn what plants are edible so we can safely forage. That's not a suspicious skill to learn, so if we can find someone willing to teach us, all the better."

Reiner trails off, eyes distant, briefly lost in thought. With those stepping stones laid out, what about Eren's question?

Where would you start?

He meets Eren's eyes. "I would start by learning how to forage in this environment, finding and memorizing any maps…" A pause, then his voice gains a certain brittle, bitter edge: "… And by making friends."

Friends who may or may not wind up betrayed if their motives don't align.

It's an ugly answer. Ugly, because Reiner has little doubt Eren will understand what Reiner means. But this is what Reiner knows; this is how he survived five years in Paradis.

it IS, they're TALKING

[dreamsofwings]

It's a little bit of a deflect on Eren's part; he doesn't really need the captain and Reiner to talk, largely because he didn't tell Levi the truth about the future. Why would he? He's not entirely self-serving, but he doesn't want to be at odds with Levi here, for various reasons. The longer he doesn't realise what happened next, the better for Eren.

Okay, maybe he is entirely self-serving. Whatever.

It's strange, how they fall into old habits. They can never be those kids again (Eren is always that kid, as much as he is a monster at the end of the book, a lost kid crying in a field, a soldier sawing off his leg on a battlefield he never should have been on). Still, it's easy? familiar? to fall into this. Eren isn't strategic without having time and memory on his side. He was ready to just start walking and see what happened. Reiner's out loud planning cools his jets on that enough that he doesn't just literally do that.

"If you can find a map, I guess that's good," he says. He's not terrible with maps and things but he's not great with them. He wasn't trained to consider them or memorise them. Sure, he knows the layout of the city on the island (before the walls fell, anyway; now, the island as much as anything is a mess of what it once was). He knew Liberio's layout as much as he was allowed to know, as much as he could to avoid being seen by people he couldn't afford to have see him. He has Zeke to thank for that.

Otherwise, he has little experience with maps. Plus memorising anything new is…tricky, when he gets so caught up in everything that already exists, the little that has yet to exist at the end of Eren's war, the last moments before the lights go out.

"Maybe we can copy maps onto something," he suggests. Easier than memorising, isn't it? Maybe?

"There's something else you should know, if you don't," Eren says. "The daylight will disappear."

He thinks of what Levi told him, though he can't imagine it.

"The days get shorter in the winter, yeah, but I mean it will stop getting light at all. That's what Levi said. I don't know why. I don't really understand."

He doesn't know how things like that work, what arctic is. It's likely that none of them know anything about planets and all of that anyway. Is there (was there) an arctic where they come from? Definitely. Has anyone been there? Who knows.

"But I do know that without the sun, we'll be even colder."

He considers. What else has he learned? It's hard for him to compile it, filter it through all the insanity that exists in his head now.

"Randvi said there was something that is a torch that doesn't burn, but it only works during the aurora. It's something electric," he adds, looking up at nothing, thinking of the things people have told him about this place. "I don't get what she means. I guess it doesn't matter if they don't work."

He levels his gaze at Reiner again.

Of course that's what Reiner would do. Make friends. Of course. Eren's blankness settles over his features, not anger or sadness or betrayal. It's just…nothing. He knows Reiner, knows what he did and how he did it.

For the most part, they differ in that. Eren has some sort of magnetism, a charisma he is unaware of, unable to really leverage on purpose. He's never been likeable the way Reiner is. He's always been too angry, too violent, too difficult to deal with.

He had only made one "friend" in Marley, and they both know how that ended. He had used Falco to send letters back to the Scouts, and it had ended in a basement with thunder and blood.

It is an ugly answer. But he's right.

"I'm not exactly friend material," Eren finally says. He's not a good friend, not really. He's a loyal one, once he decides someone is a friend. That's not the same thing; Eren's friendship is not good news.

they are!!!

[nohero]

If Eren had chosen to march off then and there, Reiner would have followed. Granted, he'd have followed with the intention of stopping Eren, even if that meant tackling the bullheaded fool and bodily dragging him back. But Reiner would have followed all the same.

Would he have succeeded in stopping Eren? He never managed before—not even when the fate of the fucking world was on the line. Maybe their diminished powers would have given Reiner the advantage he needed, brute strength allowing him to overpower Eren. Or maybe Reiner would have wound up following Eren's footprints in the snow.

Either way, there is no scenario where Reiner would have let Eren go.

(Even in their world, Reiner was trying to end Eren's suffering, not let him go.)

Fortunately, Eren stays, listening as Reiner plans aloud. Listening to the ugly truth without turning away. In one way, it's familiar; in another, it's entirely different. Reiner hid so much when they were Cadets. But they know each other's ugliness now, don't they?

Eren's suggestion that they copy any maps instead of relying on memorization is a good one. Reiner hadn't considered it, only recalling his infiltration of Paradis, where the Warriors hadn't dared carry any outside maps on them. A physical copy is a good idea. More reliable than memory—for both of them.

Daylight apparently disappearing presents yet another obstacle. Reiner's eyebrows rise in surprise, then knit in a frown. War has taken him to places with short winter days, but the sun never disappeared entirely.

"It would be colder," Reiner agrees, "and we would effectively be traveling at night. That's challenging even when you know the terrain."

He remembers a night long ago: four children making their way toward a far-off Wall. Another night: Scouts riding along a different Wall, searching for a breach that didn't exist. Another night: following Falco into a dimly lit basement.

He pushes that last memory away. Or at least, he tries to do so.

I'm not exactly friend material, Eren says. And a stupid, pathetic part of Reiner wants to say, You were to me, once.

He has no right to say that. Eren has no right to hear it. Not after everything. Still, the boy who reached for Eren's hand in a sunset-lit field wants to say it.

For the first time, Reiner looks away. As if by avoiding Eren's gaze, he might avoid his own memories.

(Eren reaching out to him, helping him when his arm was broken. Eren reaching out to him, blood slick on Reiner's skin before lightning crackled.)

"… You're good at convincing people to teach you things," Reiner settles on saying, recalling all the times Eren's passion moved people to help. "There's a lot we need to learn."

So much, in fact, that others might call the whole thing a fool's errand. But that's never stopped either of them, has it?

Reiner returns his gaze to Eren. "The days are already getting shorter. There's no telling when the sun will stop rising. The safest move would be to wait until after daylight returns." His lips press together, then he adds: "However long that takes."

He's not thrilled by the idea of waiting around. But he knows better than to charge off into the dark—quite literally.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren, naively, doesn't really think Reiner would follow him if he left. They've been chasing each other for years (Reiner has been chasing him for years), and why would that change? But for Eren, it's all as good as over. It's so close, the end of everything, and he still stupidly thinks that everyone either hates him, gave up on him, or both. He counts Reiner among that number, even though part of him knows better. He had hated Reiner, but he doesn't now. They are enemies because of circumstance, because Eren needs Reiner to stand against him, but he's starkly aware of their similarities.

He's just self-centred enough to miss some things.

The conversation keeps him here, though. It's something to work towards. Sure, he'd prefer they just go right away and see what they can find, but talking it out a little points out how stupid that would be with no preparation at all. Even as titans it would be stupid, but without those abilities, they'd almost certainly just die.

That fact grates on him every time he's forced to think about it. At least now he's thinking more than just doing.

"I guess. I can probably figure out how to learn some stuff," he agrees, grudgingly. Whatever passion he has is all but burned out now. He rid himself of as much of it as he could, leaving behind a boy who could have a horrible conversation quietly and calmly instead of screaming threats. In some ways, the former is worse than those angry threats.

"I think it's months," he says. "The sun, I mean. I think it's gone for a long time. That's what it sounded like."

He still can't imagine it, but even Eren can recognise the sense in waiting. If the sun really does disappear entirely for awhile, they're fucked out there in total darkness for however long it takes to reach the ocean. He doesn't want to leave only to end up frozen for real. They'd come close enough to that already.

Something occurs to him and his gaze sharpens, all here and now again.

"Do you know anything about the monster out there? These people are afraid of it. I heard it when I woke up."

He doesn't tell Reiner that at first he thought it was something he'd done, somehow his own voice, or a reflection of another Eldian. It's probably good that he knows about the Darkwalker, though Eren hasn't completely shaken the idea that he caused them to be here with the Founder's power, even if he didn't make this place himself.

[nohero]

As far as Reiner is concerned, Eren is underestimating himself. It's funny, in a way. Eren was always so bold and bullheaded, charging into fights regardless of the odds. But when it comes to his inherent strengths and things he could use—his passion, his charisma, his undeniable beauty—Eren seems all but oblivious.

Reiner has no doubt Eren can convince others to teach him things, just as Reiner has no doubt that he can make friends. It's just a matter of finding the right people.

The sun disappearing for months is unpleasant news. It would be impossible to travel like that. Moreover, it will make even living in town a trial. Reiner still hasn't settled on a house to call his own, feeling vaguely like a trespasser in each. He'll need to get over it quickly; otherwise, he might run the risk of freezing in a borrowed bed.

He thinks, briefly, of sharing body heat with Eren that first night.

Then he deliberately doesn't think about it.

"A monster?" he repeats, settling his mind firmly in the here and now. Then he nods. "I heard the same voice. It's called the Darkwalker. Those attackers worshiped it."

Reiner, too, has not entirely graduated from the idea that this whole impossible situation has something to do with Eren. Then again, most of Reiner's life has had something to do with Eren, so perhaps his thinking isn't so unusual.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren has always been unaware of the effect he has on people when he isn't even trying. He isn't some kind of speech giver like Erwin, but his passion used to be…infectious. In a way, that's still true now. He has a whole cult, after all, though Eren himself barely sees the Jaegerists as people. Even Floch was always a means to an end. Eren does not mourn his death.

Reiner looks a little distant for a second. Eren lets him bring himself back to the present. He knows how it goes, at least sort of.

"Of course they did," Eren says, almost sneering the words. "There's always some group of idiots out there worshipping monsters."

He shakes his head.

"Apparently it can fuck with your mind somehow. Bad things happen, though I'm not really sure what all that means. Either way, we have to have a way to fight it. Or a way to run faster than it, I guess." Eren doesn't love running from a fight, but he's had to in the past, too. He can't be the Attack Titan here, let alone all the other terrible things he should be able to do. They're too vulnerable, especially to a monster they're not familiar with.

"Not to mention if any of those assholes survived. The forest talkers. I'm not worried about a few of them. We just can't get surrounded."

Though Eren is vicious enough they might get out of that alive anyway. It's just annoying that they can't heal. He's still mad he got that gash on his arm when all that went down.

He looks off at the trees for a second, then back to Reiner.

"Hey. Don't freeze in the meantime."

He's not really thinking about where Reiner might be staying, though it does vaguely occur to him that he doesn't know. He's thinking about that fall through the ice, though for once he isn't blaming anyone. Levi fell through some ice too. Shit like that happens here.

He doesn't bother not thinking about the closeness, the heat generated between their bodies. It should have been hotter.

[nohero]

A group of idiots worshiping monsters.

Reiner thinks, briefly, of himself when he was young. He thinks of the other Candidates, each of them mere children, immature and inexperienced. Yet they were all trusted to take on a Titan. They were turned into monsters, or else looked up to those who already were. A cycle of inheritance seemingly without end.

Reiner wouldn't classify the Candidates as idiots. But the civilians who looked up to Warriors? The parents who pushed their children toward that life, thinking only of honor and ease?

Well. He'd have some choice words for those idiots, had he only the freedom to say them.

The thought passes as Eren continues, speaking of possible survivors. Reiner nods, agreeing. "If we spot one, we kill them there and then. They can't coordinate to surround us if they're dead."

Half intimidation tactic, half brutal practicality. Such is the way Reiner was taught to fight.

Something shifts in Reiner's eyes when Eren speaks of freezing. An intensity that wasn't there before. One that mirrors his gaze in that cabin as he followed Eren inside and began stripping off his clothing.

It was simply necessary, then. But what if it was something else, too?

"Yeah," he says, still holding Eren's gaze. "You, too. I need you for this."

… He didn't mean to say that last part. He's not entirely sure what he even means by this. But there it is, in the open, so Reiner doesn't flinch from it.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren has often thought of other people as lacking, as idiots, as animals. Other people were content to stay behind walls and die penned in like livestock. He had been like them as a kid. Armin's book had opened his mind, but it would have always been something. Despite Armin's insistence that it was his fault Eren was the way he was, he isn't responsible for Eren's idea of freedom.

He thinks of all of them brainwashed and lied to, convinced they were the only people alive in the vast world. Most of them didn't even know the world was so vast, that oceans could exist, that "desert" wasn't just some misspelling of dessert.

He's very good at finding others deficient. There is no one who could ever live up to Eren's impossible dream expectations, not even Eren himself.

"Yeah. That's the only thing. We can't let one of those assholes live when they're a threat to us," he says. There's no passion in it. It's just necessity. He doesn't care of those people live or die. If they get in the way again, they die. Sounds familiar.

He catches Reiner's gaze, the way it shifts. His eyebrows draw together just the tiniest amount. His face is a mirror, as it so often is, green eyes against gold, neither willing or able to look away. Maybe they don't even blink for a long time. He isn't paying attention to that.

His expression changes a little just after, though.

I need you, Reiner says. Even Eren can be surprised, and it shows through his cultivated blankness. He doesn't even bother schooling it.

"…Yeah," he says. "Guess that's how it is."

He won't say it back, though it's true. He couldn't ask Levi for this. He trusts Levi with his life, sure. But he doesn't trust Levi with much else. Levi is too good a person despite his lack of people skills for Eren to risk closeness. Reiner isn't as bad as Eren; no one ever could be. But they're the same in so many ways. Reiner won't shy away from his jagged, bleeding edges. He never has.

"Are you staying at the community center? That's too many people that could catch on to what we're trying to find out," he says after too long a silence.