deep in December, it's nice to remember

[pacificator]

Who: Wynonna Earp, Benton Fraser (& others)

What: embracing the holiday spirit and other December things

When: December

Where: Milton & Lakeside

 

without a hurt the heart is hollow

 

Comments

[balancedlight]

You wouldn't! [But there's laughter in her eyes as she contemplates it.]

He wouldn't tell you anything.

[maintiensledroit]

No, I wouldn't.

[ He leans down to press a kiss to the tip of her nose, smiling at his own little joke. ]

And he wouldn't. He's a good friend.

So it looks like I'll simply have to come to you with any questions.

[balancedlight]

More time to spend with me.

[She smiles, but there's a genuinely questioning look on her face.]

Are you certain you aren't tired of me being around?

[maintiensledroit]

Not in the slightest.

[ He'd been speaking to Francis Crozier only the other day about how strange and beautiful it was to find companionship here, when he'd never expected to ever manage it back home.

And having Sveta here makes this cabin feel more like a home than anywhere he's lived for a long time. It's no longer just a shelter; it's a place where they've talked and laughed and held each other; grieved and pushed through to another day. ]

This is your home, too. Or it could be. If you want.

[balancedlight]

[It's not as if Sveta hasn't considered asking him for this, but there's a part of her that is so independent and strong and all of the other things that she's prided herself on.

She didn't want to rely on anyone, but Ben makes that hard. Mostly because she has as much autonomy as she ever did, and she goes to bed each night feeling safe and secure and loved.]

Are you certain?

[She looks around the cabin with new eyes.

Is it home? Could it be?]

[maintiensledroit]

I never say anything I don't mean.

[ Yet another trait that Ray had found intensely aggravating, and Ben can understand why. Always speaking only what he truly believes can lead to some uncomfortable situations.

Not this time. He can't imagine being anything other than totally honest with her, and he can't imagine she'd want him to be anything other than totally honest. And yet there's still a degree of vulnerability that he finds it difficult to accept: he wants to say stay with me, but those simple words feel like baring the weakest parts of himself.

He hasn't let those walls come fully down since Victoria. Even now, here with a woman who has done nothing but care for him and heal him, he finds it almost impossible to voice his deepest wishes, the things he wants most for himself. ]

If you want.

[ Because it has to be what she wants, no matter what he might wish for himself. He knows she'd always intended to move back to her own space, that she has her own life.

But she asked. And he can't help but tell her the truth. His voice drops to a whisper, like if he says it quietly enough, it can be kept between them: a secret. ]

Stay.

[balancedlight]

[The answer comes easier than she ever thought. She had been having reservations, of course, but not anymore. Not now. She simply nods, the small gesture speaking words and volumes and operas for her.

It still doesn't seem enough and she wraps her arms around him to pull him into a kiss.]

I am happiest here. With you. So I will stay.