closed | an empty crisis lonely and last

[burying]

Who: Kieren Walker & Eddie Munson, Holland March, Cornelius Hickey.
What: Kieren finds himself a victim of Guilty Party along with Eddie Munson. Later, there's discussions, more confessions to both Holland and Hickey over Kieren's situation.
When: Over the month of October.
Where: Various, Milton.

Content Warnings: forced imprisonment; forced honesty; supernatural beings; confessional themes; threat of death; possible themes of suicide; themes of zombie-related horror; possible discussion of zombie-related cannibalism

Comments

[burying]

[ He didn't want it like this. He didn't want it to come out at all. But it doesn't matter what he wants. This is how it is. The chains fall away and he barely notices, his body sagging forwards, his faces moving to cover his face. He's gulping down air like his life depends on it, even though he's never needed a single breath since he came back. Like his brain remembers the need for it, how to soothe with breathing. And it slowly starts to quieten him down.

But there's only dim awareness of Eddie approaching him, and it's the closeness of his voice that he notes rather than the hand at his arm.

Can you get up? We can talk about this in a minute, but maybe, uh...maybe not here.

There's a nod of his head, a little numbly. He lifts his head and slowly, silently moves to stand. Around his eyes, the cover up mousse is wetted away — the darkened brown-grey of his natural skin visible. He doesn't cry, he doesn't think he does, but his eyes are glossy.

Kieren concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other. He walks like his body doesn't fit him right anymore, and he moves to push open the huge, wooden door. They're in some kind of farm outbuilding. Kieren can't look at the other boy. ]

... You can't tell anyone. [ It's the first thing he says after a long pause, quiet desperation in his voice. ] Back home... they— some people kill ones like me. People are scared enough as it is.

[satanicpanics]

[ For the moment, Eddie is more concerned with getting them both the hell out of there than he is with anything else. Any secrets Kieren spilled can wait until they’re out in the open again and away from whatever that figure is. He helps Kieren push open the heavy doors, and stumbles gracelessly out into the snow, glancing behind him just long enough to see the sort of building where they’d just been held.

What just happened? Literally what as any of that?

He drinks in the frigid air until his lungs hurt, and only then does he turn to take a good look at his companion. Something is running around Kieren’s eyes—sort of like if a member of Kiss started swearing away some of their makeup on stage and looked particularly grey and pallid underneath.

This is clearly something he can’t fully understand, but he can try. ]

Hey, I don’t get my kicks out of spreading rumors around. I’m not gonna tell anyone anything.

[ There’s no judgment there, though. Not an ounce of it, and his tone is soft and understanding. ]

But, uh…it doesn’t make a difference to me, you know. And I wasn’t lying. I really should be dead. Not to make this all about me, but…narrowly avoiding the cold hands of death without really avoiding them at all? Yeah, I’ve got some idea what that feels like.

[burying]

[ He does believe Eddie when he says he won't tell anything, and it helps his frayed, raw nerves a little. But he can't help the rise in him at the next thing he says — far too highly strung. ]

Yeah— [ He scoffs. ] well, at least you're alive. Breathing, heart-beating, living— not a literal walking corpse.

[ Kieren regrets the words as soon as he's said them. A scathing bite, like a frightened shelter dog biting the friendly hand of a hopeful adopter. It's insensitive, and he visibly cowers back a little, ashamed. He's quiet for a long moment. ]

... Sorry, that was shit of me.

[ He groans softly, running his hands through his hair and then standing for a long moment, fingers slowly lacing behind his head. Eddie's trying to help, he's trying to show empathy. Kieren knows what he's talking about — the absolute mess of wounds across his torso that he'd seen when they first met. Eddie technically shouldn't be here, either.

There's just...... too much to unpack, here. Kieren doesn't even know where to start, still reeling from the outburst back inside. God, he'd said... everything. What he is, what he did, how he died. Fucking shit. ]

I'm sorry it's so... shit.

[satanicpanics]

Hey, don’t worry about it.

[ He gets it. At the end of the day, he’s still alive. A bit mauled, a bit traumatized, finds it a little harder to play guitar, but he somehow got away with his life. H shouldn’t be here, but he is, and Kieren doesn’t have that. Kieren is, in the kindest way, something out of a Night of the Living Dead film.

But Eddie finds that despite the truth tumbling out in there, nothing’s changed. He isn’t suddenly frightened of Kieren. He’s been around the guy for months without a problem. They’ve bonded, become friends. Eddie can’t see him as anything different from that, even now. ]

It sounds like shit.

[ An understatement. He has a vague idea, but he can’t say he fully understands what Kieren is going through either. ]

You don’t have to say if you don’t want to, but uh…how did it happen? I mean, is this—is it a common thing where you’re from? Like...you’re not the only one it happened to?

[burying]

[ It's honestly a relief Eddie hasn't gone running for the hills about now. Kieren wouldn't blame him if he had. There's a weak smile, appreciative. ]

No, I'm not the only one. There's others. [ Thousands, just like Kieren. All over the world. Some still out there, unmedicated. ] It was, um— it was a one-off? About four years ago. It was called The Rising, apparently everyone that came back had all died in the same year — it was all over the world.

[ 'Spot of bother', his dad calls it. It makes Kieren want to scream sometimes. ]

I'd been dead for... I don't know, a little less than three weeks, I think. ... They even have a name for it now. [ He inhales, clicking his tongue with a raise of his eyebrows. ] Partially Deceased Syndrome. We're medicated. That's how I'm like this and not— well, y'know. Like in the movies.

[ Shambling around, looking for brains. Kieren winces. ]

[satanicpanics]

Jesus.

[ Eddie likes Kieren and clearly has no ill judgment towards his situation, but even he thinks that sounds godawful for everyone involved. Family members who have done their mourning, and the victims who have this new thing to deal with.

But medicated—medication isn’t infinite. You run out eventually. That sparks a touch of anxiety in Eddie’s chest, but it’s more so that he really doesn’t want to see Kieren become like the movies, and if he’s this worried about people merely finding out, Eddie can only imagine what his anxiety over the medication situation might be. ]

And what, uh…what do you take for it? I mean, if one were to be keeping his eyes peeled?

[burying]

Neurotriptyline. It... helps— [ He pauses, considers. He decides to simplify it. Eddie doesn't need a science lesson. ] Basically I can't generate shit on my own. Helps my brain function.

[ And... here's where it gets awkward. Kieren's gaze lowers, his stomach lurches painfully. God, he fucking hates all of this. And worse yet: ]

I-I'm supposed to have it daily. I didn't come here with any, and— and I haven't found any here. [ That's... nearly two months. ] I don't know how, but— I haven't gone back to being rabid. I don't know if I'm just— waiting to go off, like some kind of zombie-bomb.

[ What a visual. Kieren's aware of how it sounds. ]

[satanicpanics]

[ Eddie probably does need a science lesson considering he failed chemistry twice, but he appreciates the simplification! And he gets it. There are plenty of similar things in his world.

As Kieren speaks, Eddie tilts his head thoughtfully. He’s not really thinking of the fact that Kieren hasn’t taken his medication for months, or the fact that something like that could easily become a huge problem. Instead, he thinks of the alternate dimension Hawkins, how it was somehow suspended in time, stuck three years in the past while everyone else moved on. ]

Alright. So you’re supposed to be rabid but you’re not. I’m supposed to be bleeding out in an alternate dimension but I’m not. Maybe this place put us on pause or something. Like—a really freaky Atari game or something.

[burying]

[ He doesn't... quite get the reference about a 'freaky Atari game', mostly due to the time difference between them. And it shows as he frowns a great deal at it. ]

What, like... we're just... stuck in time, or something? [ It's.. well, he doesn't know. He doesn't even know how to take it. And his anxiousness about the whole thing sure doesn't want to believe it. ] I dunno. Maybe?

[ It's an oddly hopeful thought, though. And Kieren exhales as shaky laugh, his shoulders easing a little. Maybe. Maybe Eddie's still alive and maybe Kieren's still not rabid because someone hit the pause button on them, after all. ]

C'mon. [ He says finally, motioning with his head. ] I don't feel the cold, but you do. You need to get somewhere warm. Let's... try and get back to town.