— the dove, she promised land, as she laid the branch right into my hand | OPEN.

[extramuralise]

Who: John Irving (extramuralise) + OPEN!
What: Catch-all for various threads (event-adjacent or otherwise), and everything else in between!
When: Throughout March
Where: Milton & surrounding areas.
Content Warnings: Repression, religion, repentance etc... you know, the usual. Will update as needed!




( closed & open starters! feel free to PM / plurk me @ reggiemantle for plotting. )

Comments

no worries i am still here!!! always!!!!!

[notarat]

[ It's strange. There was a time where this sort of thing would have inspired fear in him, yet now it's the other way around - in this place where there's no command or punishment to fear. Irving holds no power over him, and that combined with the intensity of the other's reaction makes it so easy to see the fear in it, despite the words themselves meaning to convey anger in any other tone.

And he just stands there as he watches it. Surprisingly still, like he's taking in the other man's reaction moreso than providing any of his own. Even the mention of men like him doesn't sting anymore, so far away from the world they have left behind.

Or when, in the light of this reaction, it might seem like there is more than one such man in this exact spot right now.

He doesn't soften in the light of the other's desperate near-plea, though something also seems to keep him from hardening to the point of anger in this moment - though it might have been the perfect opportunity to say words he has wanted to say before, to sharpen his tongue. Cornelius would have taken the opportunity, were he in his shoes, and he knows it. William Gibson himself isn't so sure though.

It's why there's a moment of quiet between them - he has to decide on what to say exactly here.

And when he does speak, he speaks slowly, as if he wants to make sure every single word reaches the other. ]

"Why do you behold the speck in your brother's eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?" [ He may not be a fan of Bible study - and that's putting it lightly - but it's hard to escape picking up on at least some of the texts when you have to hear texts from the Bible often enough. ] Doesn't it say something like that?

[ He knows it's probably not fully accurate given the above - and of course John Irving would know - but he's still pretty sure he's close enough.. ]

What do you have to fear? Are you judging me in an attempt to absolve yourself of the same judgment, Mr. Irving? [ Both his tone and expression seem relatively calm, but that by itself does make it clear there's none of the usual nervous fidgeting there usually would have been in front of Irving - that there has been in the past, especially when he found them in the hold. He even holds the eye contact on his end as well.

A beat, and then he adds: ] That is why I am asking you as much.

ftr i'm still game to continue but if it's FINALLY too old atp i completely understand lmao 😭

[extramuralise]

[ The silence hangs there in between them heavy and thick, choking the air as though it had suddenly been drained of oxygen. Irving feels faintly dizzy, sinking fast into the airlessness like quicksand, though he manages — if barely, with no small amount of difficulty — to recover himself, lest his weakness show. His heart pounds in his ears like so many booming kettle drums beating out a song of war, the sweat prickling at his neck and temples.

In truth, Irving has never fully understood Gibson's animosity towards him, as if he alone were responsible for penning the laws, scriptures, and Articles against sodomy— certainly not, and hadn't he always tried to help the man, to shield and protect him even? Hadn't Gibson all but asked him for that help?

Well, perhaps always is rather a grand overstatement, but all the same, Irving had tried, had he not? He probably could have been reprimanded, even, if it had ever been discovered he had failed to report the indiscretion in the first place, but such transgressions had easily been the least of their expeditions concerns— a minor matter of morals and discipline in the face of, say, monster bear attacks, starvation, and keeping two ship's worth of crazed, desperate sailors from deciding to perhaps burn their Native passenger as a witch. ]

It would serve you well, Mr. Gibson, to remember that I have judged you quite a bit more kindly than the Crown would have— never mind the Word of God. I would have thought you'd be more grateful, in fact, rather than choosing now to accuse me of— o-of these... fraternal improprieties.

[ Regardless of any supposed moral high ground, it's a struggle to keep his voice sounding even, each word threatening to catch and tremble between leaving his throat and traveling past the barrier of his lips. Yet some part of him does, perhaps, understand the allegations Gibson's making all too clearly, and that he may even fail to beat them, ultimately, despite having yet acted upon nothing still. ]

... Now, I am myself, of course, no stranger to the various perils and temptations that may befall a man, during the course of his daily life— thoughts may at times turn toward the impure, or even the unnatural, but we still need not always condemn ourselves to the inevitability of the physical sin simply for harbouring the root of such actions in a moment of weakness. [ He exhales slowly, sharply. ] Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?

[notarat]

[ He is pretty sure that he knows what the other is trying to tell him here.

Though maybe it'd be better if he wasn't. It's not even like the words sound all that strange, coming out of the other's mouth. It's all exactly like something Irving would say. Maybe back in their world he wouldn't even have thought too much about it, especially with everything else there was to think about.

But in this place - and with the knowledge gained from conversing about these things with people who come from very different places - it sticks out more to him. John Irving is admitting that he has had these thoughts and feelings, just as Billy suspected during their emotional linking. But he is also claiming it's something that happens to all people sometimes, and--

Is it? It's hard to tell for him, given that it's all he has ever known, but other people in this place seem to say the opposite. Not to mention that he has seen some men talk or act about women in a way Billy could never imagine they could if they felt the same things he did. There's no way it's a truly universal experience.

But thinking too much about that, fully thinking about that--

His lips are tightly pressed together. He looks a little less hostile in this moment, and more like he's wrestling with something - wondering if this is a path he wants to go down, given how much of a mess his head feels when he only thinks about it. ]

You are admitting you have had those feelings. [ It's the only thing he can say right now - both as an answer to the other's question, but also in bewilderment as the realization that he was right - and all that comes with that - is dawning upon him. ]