Summer of where the hell are we

[tinstar]

Who: Raylan and you!
What: Feasting, MemLoss, around town SoL
When: Month of August
Where: Around Milton, Community hall

[Methusalah's Feast]

Raylan always made sure to come to these when he was able to without betraying himself in one way or another. He also made sure to come with plenty of firewood and dried fish over his shoulder and in his hand respectively, to offer new 'settlers'. Free supplies made things a lot easier when you were just learning how to survive like this and he remembers all too well how harrowing it was to just show up here in Milton out of regular life. It didn't hurt that he liked to see who came in, as well as take an opportunity to check up on the message board. It could be it's own form of entertainment sometimes.

At his side moved a wolf, tall at nearly hip level, with the standard kind of grey and white most people would think of when thinking 'wolf', but seemingly perfectly well behaved as his eyes stay on the rest of the room. Quiet but ready. All up until he got distracted by a smell and starts to nose into someone's meal.

"Goose! No, goddamnit, that's rude," he tuts as a long stride carries him over to push the wolf away. Goose didn't even look sorry, in the way he licked his chops, still eyeing the plate. Raylan sighs and offers an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. Normally, he's got better manners then that."

[In the Woods somewhere]

It was cold. It was the first thing he'd noticed when he woke up and while a deluge of other wildly concerning circumstances were upon him, the cold dug at him more sharply than anything else. He felt sure that he must know who he was, if he could only warm up enough to think about it. What did it matter who he was if who he was didn't have any goddamn fingers? The flash of irritation warmed him only slightly, and he pulls the coat he's lucky enough to be wearing closer around his ears as step by step, he makes his way through the forest.

It was quiet and the kind of quiet that left live nerves under his skin. The kind of quiet that make his ears try and stretch somehow, to hear more clearly anything that might be moving in the roving mists. He couldn't decide if it had worked but after a little while, the crunch of something else stepping in the snow sent his ears right back to their proverbial stretching. Unnerved enough by not knowing who he was, the man without a hat hurries his stride a little bit, in the hope that what was making that noise was human.

"Hey! Hello, yes-" All it would take is eye contact for him to start moving closer. "Can't tell you how good it is to see someone else out here. Is there a- a town or something nearby? I seem to've gotten lost.."

[Around Milton - Wildcard]

Raylan hated this month. There was at least one shiny good part about it, but that withstanding, he wasn't sure how anyone here was sane anymore. The day in and day out that was only broken by terrible things upon terrible things, the gnawing hopelessness that felt harder and harder to fight each time they got knocked down was starting to fray his edges. So Raylan did what he always did when he felt like this (since there wasn't enough whiskey to drown it all out); he stayed busy.

Wood chopping was always needed. The library? Well there were some books he thought Tim might like. The clothing store? Just checking in, to see if anything new has come in. A few t-shirts end up over his shoulder after a quick hold up against his chest sizes it out. Hell, he even stops by the church, just to see the place again. He was happy to do anything that wasn't sit still and think. What he needed was a proper bath in the hot springs but honestly, he would need company lest his head get too far away from itself.

Comments

wildcard: hot springs.

[pythianwoman]

Zoey had been keeping herself busy, after the little revisiting last month of a memory she’d thought she’d long since dealt with had torn open the wound (metaphorically) more than she’d ever expected. Combined with the still lingering realisation of just how long she’s been here. Coming up on her two year anniversary, she thinks. She’d slunk off and kept busy, kept to herself, drunk on rooftops until it finally started to ease a little. Until the wound started feeling a little less raw. Even if it was still haunting her nightmares more than she’d like.

And maybe that’s why she notices when Raylan starts doing something similar. Like calls to like. More than that, she cares about him deeply. Of course she’d notice. So when she does notice it, notices just how busy he’s keeping himself, she has to do something. So she prepares, gathers some supplies in a satchel, and goes to intercept him before he can reach the church. It’s been a while since she’s paid the hot springs a visit, and she thinks a hot soak might do the both of them some good.

“You and I have a date with the hot springs,” she declares, holding out her hand and waggling her fingers towards him.

[tinstar]

Despite the habit of crawling into his own head, Raylan brightens around the edges, banishing some of the darkness in his eyes and seriousness in his features. There was a quiet wave of guilt that lapped against him, tempering that brightness slightly but he was sure whatever made it to his face could be blamed on the general chaos of life here.

Still, when she waggles her fingers in invitation, he accepts by threading his fingers through hers and squeezing softly with a pull of a soft and crooked smile.

"Do we now. If I had known, I woulda packed my soap." He nods at the satchel. "I'm guessin' you're prepared?"

As always. Zoey was impeccable about preparations, he'd noticed.

[pythianwoman]

There’s something on his face, something that Zoey can’t quite pinpoint. It could be for any number of reasons. Most of which came from being in a place like this with no chance of escape, no reprieve. It doesn’t matter, really. Whatever the reason, she’s here.

He threads his fingers through hers, squeezing softly, and she answers back with a little smile of her own and a gentle little squeeze. I’ve got you, spoken without words.

That smile grows a little, turns just the tiniest bit cheeky. “Always,” she tells him. If she’s going to do a thing, she refuses to half-ass it. (This goes for hot springs dates, and flinging herself headlong into trouble in equal measure.) She has soap, shampoo, conditioner, a thermos of coffee (the real stuff), and a bottle of whiskey all tucked away in her satchel. Plus a couple bottles of pine soda and a loaf of cornbread she’d managed to improvise.

[tinstar]

The squeeze back warms him, making his soft smile a little more natural and easy on his face. Zoey was kind, with a depth of sincerity and consistency he wasn't accustomed to seeing in people. He also wasn't accustomed to it being shown to him by most, but Zoey had been consistent enough that he just took the comfort and happy companionship for all that it was. All that it could be.

"Then let's boogie. Still cold as hell out here." He gives her a broader bit of a smile and turns to start them off into the right direction, regretfully taking his hand back to shove back into his coat. It wasn't going to take them long to get there but neither did frostbite take long.

He wrestled with something for a moment before continuing with an almost nervous glance over. She'd been consistent, he reminded himself. Kind. He could trust her. Right?

"Probably as good a time as ever to tell you somethin' too. Somethin' I'd like to stay between us."

Wildcard - return from the coast

[meadqueen]

It has been a long time since Randvi has seen Raylan. Other than in passing in the village, the last time they'd spoken may have been during the terrible winter storm when they'd been barricaded in the hall.

So much has happened - Francis and Ragnar’s deaths, her revenge against the Old Bear, Jon and Lyanna and Fraser and Svetlana’s disappearances, her trips to the coast - that she feels like a completely different woman.

She smiles broadly at the sight of her friend.

“Raylan, hail. I bring news from the coast.”

[tinstar]

Raylan's face breaks wide into a smile at the sight of Randvi and he lifts his hand in greeting as he ambles closer.

"Randvi! I meant to find you out in Silverpoint, but the travel and then those fuckin' nightmares.." He trails off and waves off the rest of his answer with a flick of his hand.

"That cannery is wild, ain't it? How are ya? How're the people out there doin'?"

[meadqueen]

“I took two of the new arrivals on a tour through Lakeside and then to Silverpoint, so we took a bit of a circuitous route.”

They’d also been a bit slower as the younger girl was in poor health, but that isn't her place to say.

“The cannery was an adventure for certain. Did you have a chance to meet Marra, who maintains the signal fire?”

[desperate_times_right]

Chloe had been out and about last month - even travelling to Lakeside a couple of times! - thanks to the green fog that had been rolling through, but now she's back to keeping out of the sun.

Out of sight of others, too, after the talk that she's been hearing about Dorian and what he is. What he's done. It's only a matter of time until the wrong person finds out and they come for her, too.

Not all others, though. Wood for the boiler that she doesn't have to chop herself is always welcome, and watching Raylan chop it even more so. Yes, it's stress work but at least it benefits her.

“Hey. Thanks for coming up. It's been a minute, huh?”

[tinstar]

The trip out had been nice but there was still something gratifying about going back to a regular habit of schedule that allowed him to check in on people he cared about and keep up supplies. Milton was never going to be home, but it was a mostly reliable home base.

"Yeah. Sorry about that, it's.. been a hellva month. Not as bad as some we've seen but." It was gnarly anyway. "Went day trippin' for a week over in Silverpoint, only just got back a few days ago. Shit get weird on this side of our small world too?"

He imagined so, but he loved a verification that that specific rule hadn't changed.

[desperate_times_right]

“No weirder than usual,” Chloe says flippantly. “The fog meant I could be out and about more than I have been since I got sick, but it also showed people their bad memories, so you win some, you lose some. Got sucked into more of Enola’s dumb shit for a bit, but no permanent damage there.”

She shrugs.

“How was it over there?”

in the woods

[friendsfordinner]

This is the ending of all things. The man who is occasionally known as Cornelius Hickey knows that. He also knows that the ending of all things doesn't matter. He'll survive. He'll adapt. Whatever's going on, all he needs to do is keep going, keep living, keep himself alive and well and thriving until the day he actually dies.

He's squatted down, rummaging through some of the bones when he hears the other man approach. He tenses, ready to strike if needed (with what? the bone?), but the question catches him off guard.

"Hell if I know," the man who used to be known as Hickey shrugs. "But look at this. These bones aren't human, yeah? That means there were animals around here. Did you see any tracks or anything like that?"

This is the ending of all things. But frankly, Hickey's a bit hungry, and contemplating the end of all existence can wait until after he's had a meal.

[tinstar]

The bones were a good momentary distraction from the beginning of the end of all things. He thought that if it were truly the end, then he wouldn't be anymore. That was some comfort, though it did nothing to push back the inevitability. But it had always been the beginning of the end. He couldn't say how or why, but death was just.. accepted. It would come for him.

It would come for all of them.

He moves closer and squats down to study the bones before studying the ground around him. Did he have any idea what he was doing? No, not really, but his eyes worked and depressions in the snow were only a little difficult to see..

"I don't think they are. Only tracks I've been lookin' for is human tracks.." He frowns softly. "You really thinkin' about somethin' to eat at a time like this?"

What else would someone want with an animal?

[friendsfordinner]

"What would you rather I think about?" Hickey dryly responds. "What happened? Why we're like this? Why I don't know my name? What the ending of all things even is? Far as I know, I can't change anything about that. Until I learn what I need to, I'll just focus on the here and now, on what I can change. And the easiest thing to change is that I'm bloody hungry."

Hickey stands up fully, stretching slightly as he looks over at the other man. There were so many strange and odd things going on. Best to focus on what he can do. What he can accomplish. The here and now. Because Lord knows he doesn't want to be caught helpless.

wildcard; at home

[comfortablyerect]

Raylan's been keeping himself busy.

To be fair, Tim has too. He's had to after the memory, with the flashback and the nightmares and the paranoia. It all hung around longer than it would've at home, where there was lots of liquor and plenty of fugitives to chase down. Fishing leaves his mind too idle. Wood chopping is fine, but there's only so much of it he can do before his body is screaming at him to stop. Hunting works okay so long as he's tracking and not waiting.

The first few weeks after the memory, he slept in his own bed. The nightmares were too bad, the paranoia too high. It wasn't a matter of Raylan not seeing him at his worst, but a matter of how dangerous it could get. When his body wakes up but his mind doesn't, and there's the chance that when it does catch up with reality, he has his hands around his partner's throat or a gun to his head.

He can't risk it, so he sleeps alone until the worst of the aftermath has worked its way out of his system, and then one night he simply follows Raylan into his room and crawls into bed with him.

They've settled into an odd sort of domestic bliss, a tiny sliver of reprieve amidst the shittiness of existing here. Tim's home, and he's found lately that cooking is something that occupies his hands and his mind. He never gave a fuck about cooking at home, perfectly content to live off of frozen dinners and MREs and probably die an early death from it. Now he's-- making venison chili. Or attempting to, with vegetables from the greenhouse and what little recollection he has of his mother making it growing up. It smells good, at least.

When Raylan comes in, Tim is crouched in front of the fire, stirring the pot of food. He speaks without looking back.

"If this sucks, you have to tell me the truth."

[tinstar]

It's almost funny to see Tim so deeply focused on cooking. Raylan never thought Tim was one for it and besides that, it was something that Raylan took his own comfort in and one that he was happy to give up when this was the reward. Who could say no to a hot meal they didn't have to make themselves? He smiles as he strips off his jacket and gloves so he can pick back up the tote of firewood and head Tim's way.

"Can't suck if it makes the house smell like this," he remarks, walking by with a run of his hand across Tim's shoulders before he starts unloading wood. He'd gotten a lot more comfortable with just touching Tim in the soft, affectionate ways he wanted to. It wasn't every time, but there wasn't nearly as much restraint as before.

He hadn't asked about anything when Tim slept alone after those nightmares. He could tell Tim needed the time and the space to breathe or ignore it all or however he actually managed it all - they weren't in a place where Raylan felt right asking. That was more personal then sex. He also didn't ask anything when Tim followed him into bed, but didn't hesitate in the slightest to wrap Tim into his arms or to drop chaste little kisses on the sniper's shoulder.

Tim was always welcome in his bed. Obviously, they couldn't deny what this was on its face. He wouldn't try. That didn't mean he had to go stirring the waters, putting his foot in his mouth and ruining things. Even if he wanted something more, they had all the time in the world. Until they didn't. Raylan chooses to not think about that.

"What's in it?"

[comfortablyerect]

That seems reasonable, he thinks, though he knows it's missing a few key ingredients to be made proper. Raylan's hand trails over his shoulders, light and casual in a way that sends a slight chill down his spine. He looks up, assessing his partner quietly for a moment like he typically does when they've both come home for the night, needing to see for himself that Raylan has returned to him in one piece.

He's fucked. If they return home and remember all this, he's doubly fucked. These feelings were easy to maintain when they had roles to fall into and rules to follow. The simple lust and infatuation stayed neatly compartmentalized, only taken out of their boxes when he was horny and alone.

It's something else now, something warm and scary and brand new. He's not sure when it happened -- after the nightmare, the night of the moose hunt, the morning he woke up with the betraying aura, the day of the earthquake -- and he can't tell how much of it has to do with Raylan being his only source of safety and familiarity.

Just that at some point down the line, unbeknownst to them both, he tethered his heart to Raylan's and is helpless to cut the line. He doesn't know if he wants to. He also doesn't know what Raylan wants, and true to form, neither of them have brought it up. They danced around this for so long before Raylan had the nerve to break the pace, and now they're dancing again, just to a different beat.

He's kind of tired of dancing. Tim pushes against his knees to stand upright, leaving the pot to simmer.

"It's meant to be venison chili, but the greenhouse didn't have onions or peppers, so who the fuck knows what it is now. Did find a can of beans to throw in it, so I hope you're not a beanless chili kinda guy."

His gaze cuts to Raylan and he offers a hint of a smile. "Else I might have to sleep in my own bed tonight."

Chili without beans is just meat sauce and this is a hill he will die on.

the feast

[readytosee]

"Oh!" Casper laughs in surprise, raising the plate he'd intended on sitting down with a little higher, hopefully out of reach of -- "Goose, was it?" he asks, looking from the dog (wolf?) to who he assumes is its owner.

"He's alright, didn't manage to steal anything. Though he probably could, if he tried. Rather large, isn't he? Sturdy boy."

[tinstar]

Raylan can't help but huff a laugh at the observation, relieved that the good doctor hadn't taken any open offense to it. Goose, admonished and generally inclined to listen to Raylan's commands, sat with a lolled open and relaxed mouth though his eyes did stay on that plate.

"Sturdy is a word for him, yeah. But don't worry, I swear he is actually trained. Just.. exuberant. We haven't met so face to face before - I'm Raylan Givens, heard you're a friend of Tom Zane."

It's all given with a confident smile and an outreach of his hand in offer of a handshake.

[readytosee]

If there's a faint flush about Casper's face at the mention of Tom Zane, well. And his smile might get just a little wider as he takes Raylan's hand to shake it. "I am, at that. My partner, from back home. Or not home really, but wherever we were before we arrived here.

Doctor Casper Darling, a pleasure to meet you. Any friend of Tom's is a friend of mine, I think the saying goes."

feast

[dreamsofwings]

Eren is back in town for a few days in time for the gathering at Community Hall. There's at least food here today, which is less work. And there are new faces, though whether Eren actually cares about that is hard to say, even for Eren himself.

He's not exactly distracted so much as he's lost in his own head, mulling over his desire to get the hell off this island. There are still more steps they need before they can even try, and that grates on him. He's not a planner by any means.

There's still food on his plate when the dog (wolf?) comes to clear it for him. It startles him back into the present; he jumps a little, chair sliding along the floor a few inches.

"What the hell," he says. He looks up at Raylan, registers the words.

"Is that your wolf?" Eren asks, incredulous. He's never heard of anyone keeping a wolf tame before.

[tinstar]

It was probably cruel for Raylan to enjoy the shock and surprise at Goose and his size, what he was. A little amazing that anyone wasn't used to seeing the now no longer pupsized wolves walking around, even more so that no one had gotten shot.

He can't help but grin, proudly. "It is. Though he certainly doesn't see it that way. It's good to see you back in town," he continues, walking around to sit across from Eren and click softly at Goose to get the wolf's attention. It worked and Goose comes to lay down next to Raylan, eyes still wistfully cast upwards in hope.

"Where've you been hiding out?" Which was a rich question, considering Raylan's own hiding out.

[dreamsofwings]

Eren tracks Goose's movements with his eyes, still more surprised than wary. He isn't afraid. He wouldn't be anyway, not really, and if Raylan is acting like this is normal, then it probably is.

"Silverpoint," Eren answers. "I wanted to get to the ocean. So when we were able to…"

He trails off, his expression fading into something distant for a moment. It's only a few seconds, though, before he checks back in and refocuses on Raylan.

"Have you been there? The coast?" he asks.

Wildcard, feel free to ignore if this too late

[solitarysoul]

This month had been a little bit better than last to Levi, especially since there wasn't any flashback inducing fog. But it was still...weird. Not that any month wasn't, but it made him think about things he didn't really want to anyway.

So when he comes across Raylan chopping wood he pauses, "Want any help?"

Never too late

[tinstar]

Raylan looks over, straightening from his swing with a blink of surprise.

"Always. Pretty sure we could thin this forest out and it not be enough wood for us," he says with a hint of a laugh as he buries his axe into the wood and gestures at it. "It's good to see ya again. Oh, speakin' of, I got some ammo for you. Sorry I ain't been by to drop 'em, but things bein' what they are sometimes.."

He was sure Levi understood and the second axe he has finds its way into his hand.

[solitarysoul]

"Mmm, it'll never be enough firewood, huh?" Because he's still cold all of the time. What he wouldn't give for proper heating.

"Its good to see you too, you go out to the coast?" He perks up a bit at the ammo mention. "Yeah? Thanks! I can stop by and pick it up at some point if you're busy."

Levi takes that axe and begins chopping.