It's out with the old and in with the new...

Dex honestly hadn't thought it would work, even though he'd been told about the Holiday Board months ago. A big pig comes up out of nowhere and gives him a Christmas gift because he's been a good little boy all year long? Get serious. He believed that all the way up until he's facing the hoary and grizzled visage of the boar himself. Well, what does he want? He's good on the weapons front and the only items he has of any sentimental value are already here. It takes him a minute or two but something comes to him. Dex is very tired of squirrel stew and moose steaks. He wants something from home.

So the boar horks out a pizza to Dex's exact specifications and Dex is rightfully a little grossed out that the pizza box is covered in saliva. Fortunately, when he gingerly opens the giant cardboard box, the piping hot pizza itself appears to be completely intact and free of any pig bunk. Dex gleefully hurries home with his present.

He can be found sitting on his porch, his wolfdog Cy beside him, happily eating a pizza that looks and tastes just like the one from his favorite pizza place in New York City. He's cut up a slice into little squares and occasionally gives Cy a small piece that the wolfdog eagerly snaps up. Can dogs even eat pizza? Dex has no idea, having never had a pet before now. He's sure it'll be fine.

He's in a generous mood and also pragmatic enough to know pizza isn't going to keep for more than a day or two, even if he packs it into the snow as a makeshift fridge. So instead he'll wave over anyone he knows. "Pizza?" He asks as he devours another slice.

Edited 2025-12-19 08:10 (UTC)

Absolutely ridiculous, this holiday boar, but D'Artagnan too had been graced by the creature. He'd stored his 'present' in his cabin, and when he'd next come outside, Dex is settling on his own porch with a strange flat box, the scent of which is new to him, but certainly some sort of food. It's oddly shaped folded bread and dripping... substances... D'Artagnan walks over with an eager stride, eying the wolf dog with a raised eyebrow. The creature appears to be satisfied as well.

"What, now?"

The word means nothing to him, and he's uncertain if it's the name of said delicacy or some manner of greeting invitation.

"Want a slice of pizza?" Dex asks again as soon as he swallows down another bite of his current slice, holding it up for emphasis. He's definitely in a very good mood right now, maybe the best he's felt ever since coming to Milton.

As he waits for an answer, he tosses a small piece up high up in the air for Cy, who snaps it out of midair as it comes back down with surprising agility. The wolfdog is staring intently at D'Artagnan. The canine has seen him before given how close he is in proximity to their house but never this close before, so now he has to make an assessment as to whether or not the other man is friend or foe. He and Dex have very similar eyes, those of a predator trying to figure out if what in front of them is potential prey.

"I also have sodas." Dex gestures where the tops of a bunch of metal cans are visible sticking out of the snowbank nearest to the house. "There's some kind of coke, lemon-lime, and root beer."

Really, there's no reason to decline, and he nods, keeping one eye on the dog.

"Alright."

His instincts are to show his dominance, to narrow his eyes at Cy's intense regard, but D'Artagnan stops himself, a careful attempt at an equal stare instead, only looking away first when Dex points out the drinks with another word he doesn't know. Leaving the dog to his assessment, he heads for the snowbank, a curious but quick observation. He's familiar with lemons and roots, but not this third unknown, and so it's the coke he snatches before making himself at home on the porch, fumbling with the pull-top a bit, and seemingly surprised by the cracking and fizzing noise.

"Where did you get these?"

Raising an eyebrow, he reaches for a slice of pizza, awkwardly folding it between his fingers, unable to contain the sauce as it drips.

The intense look from Cy is finally broken up by Dex rubbing him roughly on the ruff of his neck fur, which breaks his focus as he cranes his head to look back at his owner with adoring eyes. He's got a new leather collar with his full name carefully carved into it: Denton True 'Cy' Young. His thick fluffy fur is glossy and clean, clearly having been brushed out recently. Despite Dex's initial bewilderment at ending up with a pet, he's started to grow quite fond of Cy in his unique way. He gives the wolfdog another small bit of pizza.

He sips his own soda, this one also a coke. "Traded what had to be like a pound of squirrels and rabbits with another Interloper who is no good at catching their own meat for these. It was a good trade." Even if the food remained the same, at least he could get something that tasted good to drink with it all!

"The pizza came from the big pig. I honestly thought people were jerking me around when they told me that there was some giant boar wandering around who gave out gifts like a porcine Santa Claus. But here we are." And Dex is relishing in his gift. Definitely the best thing that he could have asked for.

"Mm."

It's a noncommittal noise as he sips his coke, and decides that he'd prefer rabbits to the sweet syrupy taste and strange texture of the drink. He's polite enough not to say it.

"We've all our skills to contribute. I've been working, if we call it that, at the general store. Gathering and hunting for trading with what others have made or scavenged."

Taking a bite of the pizza, he's not tentative with it, a large part of the triangular end, and that gets an hum of approval, better than the soda. Hastily swallowing to reply, D'Artagnan starts talking before he's quite finished.

"I saw it too! I didn't expect it was real either, though so many things don't make sense here... So you asked the boar for this pizza? You could have anything and you chose this?"

It's slightly judging, but perhaps there's a story behind it, the value of this food, and his raised eyebrow is a query.

"I can usually find something in the woods to kill that I can trade for." Usually clothes, given Dex has no talent in making them, and shoes since he knows firsthand how important footwear can be in extreme weather conditions. He's pleased to see that D'Artagnan enjoys the food. It's kind of nice to be able to share something from home with another person here.

Dex explains his reasoning behind his unusual choice. "Well, I already have enough weapons and the only sentimental items I care about already arrived here with me. The only thing I've really been missing is food from home." Hence asking for a an extra-large pizza as his holiday gift instead of prioritizing anything that is essential for his survival.

He nods, an easy understanding in that. D'Artagnan's weapons and sentimental items are one in the same, and all he had to his name, and they came with him. He himself is truly a simple man, and he supposes had he enough weapons, he might have asked, in a moment of craving familiar comforts, for a good bowl of mutton stew that tasted exactly like he'd remembered.

"It's not too odd a request after all, I don't think."

He chews at the crust with consideration.

"I do miss some things like that from home, had before I got here really. Thank you for sharing it. I asked for gunpowder, you might have some of that if you'd like, in exchange. D'you think we could get your rocks to explode on impact?"

"I'm just thankful only the box had the pig saliva on it and the pizza inside was untouched." Because no matter how much Dex is craving a comfort food from home, he's not about to eat anything that literally came out of a giant pig and was covered in watery gunk, even if it did run off quite quickly.

"Right about now I'm missing central heating and hot water most of all." It's the little things here that remind Dex how very far away from home he is indeed.

He grins at the idea of exploding rocks. "Now that's an experiment I'm willing to test out."

D'Artagnan pauses at another bite, pulling the pizza from his mouth and not-so-surreptitiously eying it for pig saliva, even though he knows it isn't there. It simply hadn't occurred to him and now he's a bit unsettled. A bit, as he shrugs to himself and deems it untouched as Dex has said.

"We didn't have hot water, or this 'central heating'."

It's not a complaint though, a statement on how some of the survival aspects of this place aren't thought of as such to him. A slow smile creeps across his face for the agreement on his idea, though.

"What do you think an appropriate target? A man at the gas station told me the cars are useless without any of it."

Surely, metal doesn't catch fire as the trees do, and nothing inside is combustible.

Dex looks over at D’Artagnan with a curious expression on his face. “Where did you say you were from again?” He hasn’t encountered enough people here in Milton to really comprehend how big the gaps can be in time periods people are from.

Dex looks delightfully wicked at the thought of exploding rocks inside a bunch of stationary vehicles. “Sounds like a good idea to me. What’s the worst that could happen?” God help these two beautiful idiots, they’re going to burn half of Milton down at this rate.

"France. 1630."

He knows he's not the furthest one back in time, but perhaps the second after the 'viking lady'. Finishing off his slice of pizza, he lifts the can of coke in a mock toast for ill-advised outings.

"We'll find out."

Dex takes that in with only a muted sense of surprise. With all the weird things he's experienced in his life, meeting someone from the seventeenth century doesn't even rate on the top ten strangest. "Guess that's a long way off from New York City in 2017."

"Until then, cheers." Dex clunks his soda can against D'Artagnan's. For right now, he's just happy to celebrate the holiday season in a much more happy way than he ever has back home.

He lifts an eyebrow, not knowing where New York City is, but 2017 isn't as surprising as it could have been, settles somewhere in the high middle of years he's encountered.

"Cheers."

With a larger swig of the soda, he sets the back down with a hollow clink, and odd noise with such thin metal that distracts him for a second.

"Well. I'll leave you to your... pizza."

A smile curls at the edge of D'Artagnan's lips as he pushes himself up from the porch and starts next door.

"Come find me when you want to blow something up."

The smell hits him before the sight does, all too familiar and yet weirdly foreign for this place. He'd delivered pizza at home, of course, but he hadn't thought about it in ages.

The wolves he'd met here so far had been pretty friendly, so the sight of this one doesn't bother him too much. Though he does at least keep a respectful distance at first, glancing between the pizza, the wolf, and the guy offering. "No shit?"

Dex is busy finishing off another bite of the slice he's currently working on before offering up a small piece to Cy for the wolfdog to gnaw on. His tail wags at the sight of a new person to possibly play with. Once he's finished swallowing, he answers Sam. "I can't eat the entire thing before it goes bad, so might as well spread the wealth."

He gestures to the snow surrounding the porch, where the shiny tops of a bunch of metal cans can be seen. "Set out some sodas to chill too if that's your preference."

It's out with the old and in with the new...

Dex's Holiday Boar Gift - OTA

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