I'd sit there and look at the deserted lakes and I'd sing

[singmod]

MARCH 2024 EVENT

PROMPT ONE — EXIT STRATEGY: With the way via the main road a no-go, Methuselah finds a potential and very dangerous way out of the Milton area: the Milton Mines. During the Aurora, the Interlopers must find a way to safely navigate the mines and find a way through.

PROMPT TWO — BRAVE NEW WORLD: Interlopers make their way into the Lakeside area, and are free to explore the more of the Northern Territories: a place of both industry and leisure.

PROMPT THREE — THE ECHO: On Aurora nights, the aftermath of the Darkwalker's attack on the Interlopers continues to ripple through the community — with a painful affliction.

EXIT STRATEGY

WHEN: Mid-month.
WHERE: Milton Mines.
CONTENT WARNINGS: claustrophobic situations; potential injury/maiming; potential electrocution/electrocution injuries; potential burn injuries; hyperthermic situations; exploration horror;


Unusually, Methuselah returns to the town around the middle of the month. He is looking pleased and will ask that the Interlopers gather in the Community Hall. Once gathered, he climbs onto the small stage at one end of the Hall and explains that following last month’s Feast, he set out to try to find a way out of Milton, and he believes he may have found a way out.

He goes on to explain that although the Milton Mine has been closed for many years, there may still be access through the mine. The mine had two entrances through either sides of the stone, one on the Milton side since many of the residents worked the mine back in the day, but there was also an additional entrance on the opposite side, which led to a railway track that allowed easier export of coal and precious materials towards the coast. Having gained access, he believes the mine seems to mostly remain intact, but not easy to get through. However, he discovered that during the Aurora, the old mine and its electronics came to life — meaning a way through is certainly possible during those times with the added electronics in play.

It is not much, and it is certainly incredibly dangerous, but it is something. There is certainly no way out towards the south; towards the north might be the Interlopers’ best chance of finding a way out of Milton.

Methuselah will ask for any volunteers to join him in trying to find a way out via the mines, taking them up north and then waiting for an Aurora to happen before they can then make their way through and explore the mine system. Anyone is free to sign up, and he suggests someone drawing up a sign up sheet so that Interlopers have an idea of who is leaving the town on the journey.

The hike towards the mines is a long one, taking a few hours on an incline to reach the northern mountains. Waiting on the Aurora may take time, so setting up camp is the next step — waiting for night and hoping the skies fill with night soon. Interlopers are free to explore the mine beforehand, but will find a lot of it locked up tight. With areas unreachable without power and the darkness suffocating, they won’t get very far.

When the Aurora does finally come, the mine will come to life: the system’s lighting will come on throughout, albeit flickering and a little unreliable. Machinery and track systems whir and groan as the mine slowly cranks itself into functioning once more. While there are maps of the system to help Interlopers navigate the system — showing a second entrance labelled as ‘Lakeside Entrance’ — the true difficulty in getting through lies in wait.

Interlopers will find that parts of the system have been partially flooded: with the frigid water in places mostly ankle deep and others reaching no higher than knee-high on an average-height man. What’s worse, is the half-destroyed electrics ravaged by both time and the Aurora mean plenty of loose wires hanging here and there. It’s possible to accidentally catch yourself on them, meaning burn injuries and mild electric shocks — but care should be taken in checking if these wires may have fallen into these flooded parts. Stepping into these live waters will be far more deadly. They will also find that the electronically-powered gates that open through into areas may not function, with the fuses having been blown.

Gaining access through the mine is not impossible, however. It will simply require a little bit of legwork. One of the larger caverns of the mines houses a fuse board. Characters can switch off sections of the mines in order to traverse them safely, find new fuses in toolboxes scattered through the mines in order to open the gates and make their way through to gain access to the elevator of the mine — which will also require new fuses, in order to power the electrics to get it to function.

It is perhaps, most frustrating, that once Interlopers get the elevator working and head downwards into the final section of the mine, that they will come across hand-cranks — allowing them to use the elevator without the need for electricity. But at least the hard part is over, and the Interlopers now have a way through from Milton that doesn’t require relying on the Aurora to power the mine’s electrics.

On the lower section of the mine, there will be a handful of more gated rooms to get through before reaching the Lakeside Entrance, and more wires and flooded areas to traverse. But you can taste it: something on the air. You’re close.

You’ve made it, Interloper.

BRAVE NEW WORLD

WHEN: Mid-month, onwards.
WHERE: Milton Mines (Lakeside Entrance); The Ravine; Lakeside area.
CONTENT WARNINGS: themes of exploration/survival; themes of peril; acrophobia; potential character/npc death from falls; potential injuries, potential cold injuries/hyperthermia risk;

Coming out of the mines, you will be greeted by a small mining camp and railway track enclosed by mountains on both sides. It’s incredibly sheltered here, with little wind chill and not as much snow on the ground compared to some of the more open areas of Milton. It may be best to rest here for the rest of the night. There are several portacabins that were used to house some of the former miners, along with additional cabins with one being some kind of foreman’s office, one that served as a kind of mess hall and one for bathing/toilet needs.

While there is little in terms of supplies left in there, some scraps may be found here and there — plus the cabins will provide decent shelter from the cold, which may be the last Interlopers will get ahead of the long walk down through the mountain track and into Lakeside. There is also plenty of coal left lying around, too — allowing for Interlopers to craft fires to keep warm. Even with it being sheltered, it’s still cold out.

In terms of where to go from here, the only way seems to be to follow the track. It’s a long walk, but rather straightforward if you keep to the tracks. A good few hours of it, but it’s quiet — and there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of wildlife or windchill here. It almost seems too easy, or as easy as it could be in regards to a long walk through thick snow.

Until you come face to face with the ravine.

The world opens up to you, with the tracks stretching over a huge valley via a… mostly sturdy-looking wooden and steel bridge. There doesn’t seem to be any way around it, no alternative route of getting over to the other side. Crossing the bridge is the only option. Care should be taken, with Interlopers now being vulnerable to the wind and the snow-laden tracks. As sturdy as the bridge looks, it seems to creak and groan under the weight of a single footstep. There even appears to be the remains of fall train-carts in the depths, from some unfortunate incident years ago. It’s probably fine.

Crossing the bridge and continuing down the tracks will eventually have the world opening up even more — you’ve finally reached Lakeside. Thick boreal forests crowd around the tracks, and in places, Interlopers will note that the tracks have buckled and become badly damaged. When they find roads, they will also find them in similar states of disrepair from beneath the snow. Following them for another hour or so will eventually lead to Lakeside’s Maintenance Yard. From here, there is a road, with directions: signs pointing towards Milton, the Coast, Lakeside Resort and the Carter Hydrodam.

For those interested in searching the Maintenance Yard, they will be greeted by a large, fenced in building. Fortunately, a great deal of the fencing has been damaged with the bad weather and it is easy enough to gain access. The place is a bit of a mess: scrap metal, wood, and dissued trucks and cars litter the yard, along with wood that can be used for kindling and firewood. Inside the Maintenance Yard, it is a little bit of a mechanic’s dream. There’s plenty of tools in this place, and even a forge which could be used for crafting if someone has the patience to fire it up and keep it hot for long enough. There’s plenty of stores of coal, at least. But in terms of a living space, there’s not much else other than a small break room with some comfy chairs to catch some quick shut-eye. Searching the Yard for any letters or such will reveal a similar theme to that of Milton: difficulty in reaching the Mainland with postage and correspondences, the lack of staffing, and the problems with wildlife. There are also complaints and concerns over growing dangers of small quakes causing damage to the roads and rail system.

Following the road towards the Lakeside Resort is a mostly quiet and pleasant enough trek, as long as one keeps close to or on the road there as much as possible. The Resort is largely secluded, even if it is around the actual lake itself, and it’s easy to see just why this place would have been a popular vacation place.

The resort is a collection of a dozen luxury cabins dotted around the edge of the lake, each of them with a decent amount of space between them for privacy. The cabins themselves are sturdy and well built, but look far more modern and almost designer in terms of style - with huge almost floor to ceiling windows and spacious porches for that perfect lakeside view, and open plan rooms and balconies. Each of the cabins contain multiple bedrooms, suitable for vacationing families and mix both modern technology and more rustic means of heating homes — making them ideal for all weathers.

A couple of the cabins are not completed, appearing to be a kind of expansion of the resort that was not finished. Build materials still remain here. Some of the cabins on the furthest side appear to have become victims of vandalism, having been broken into and completely trashed with windows smashed, furniture missing and broken, and any goods completely ransacked from the place. There are perhaps five cabins out of the twelve that remain fully intact and may contain useful items such as food, basic medical supplies and tools, and will certainly be excellent shelters for those looking for somewhere to stay.

There is also a Camp Office, situated at the east side of the lake. Used as a kind of main office of maintenance for the cabins, along with an office or tourist centre of sorts. It has a decent stock of hiking and outdoor essentials. The Camp Office does also have a small living space upstairs — presumably used by Lake staff or rangers, with a wood stove and kitchenette, along with a bathroom and several bunk-beds. It appears that the Camp Office wasn't abandoned until a short while ago — no more than a couple of months.

Following the road to the Hydrodam is a trickier one than the one to the Resort. There is a higher volume of predator wildlife here, with wolf howls closer and more frequent. With the current state of wildlife’s behaviours, it is likely to face attacks from wolves on the way there. The Carter Hydrodam has clearly seen better days. It seems to have fallen into disrepair and may have only been run by a small skeleton crew. While the Hydrodam is gated and locked up tight, it’s possible to break in through the gate and gain access.

While the lower dam is currently out of bounds, Interlopers will be able to get into the upper levels of the main building of the Hydrodam, which consists mostly of offices, maintenance rooms, a medical bay, and rooms banked with control panels, plus staff areas. The med bay is relatively well stocked, but might need a little forced entry with certain medical lockers and cabinets. Tools and other useful items can also be found here, along with bunk rooms, a small canteen and bathrooms/showers. It might be possible with some work to get access to hot water here — the showering systems run on a back-up furnace system, and while some of the pipes are broken, it might be possible to fix them to get the hot water system up and running again.

Following the road to the Coast will find a dead end. The bridge that heads over towards that direction has been damaged beyond repair, and there looks to be no way of getting around it. Perhaps, much like with getting out of Milton, there may be an alternate way of getting further south, but time will tell.

But for now, here is an entirely new region, ripe for the picking. While it appears some places have already seen minor scavenging (with the exception to the vandalism and looting of some of the resort cabins), Lakeside is largely untouched. It is full of game to hunt, an expansive lake to take up ice-fishing in, and indoor locations to search through for supplies. Some Interlopers may decide to stay here permanently now that it’s easier to travel between Lakeside and Milton.

THE ECHO

WHEN: Aurora Nights, the month of March.
WHERE: Everywhere
CONTENT WARNINGS: supernatural/otherworldly afflictions; themes of grief; themes of loss

There are roughly no more than ten Aurora nights during the month of March, and everything occurs as usual: the insanely bright colours swirling in the skies before you, the crackles and pops of static in the air providing percussion to the strange, ethereal chorus of almost-electrical sounds. The electrics of the world around coming alive with its usual sputtering and falters. There is much mystery to these strange, almost supernatural phenomena — but they almost feel like a kind of staple in the Northern Territories.

But on these nights something different happens.

If you listen closely, the sound of weeping can be heard on the air. Those with the Aurora Call Feat will be particularly drawn to the sound, and will hear it more clearly compared to their fellow Interlopers. It is the sound of a woman, and those paying attention might be able to recognise the voice it belongs to: it is the same woman heard over the static of radios and televisions in December and early January. The same woman that spoke to Interlopers, telling them to sleep, with the promise of help — thus granting some of them powers. It is the same voice that screamed out the night La’an Noonien-Singh died, and the night of those recently killed in the church.

She is… grief-stricken. Her weeping is a raw and anguished thing, and the more you listen, the more it seems to grip at you. You feel her pain, maybe it echoes within your own. Those you have lost, those you have failed or hurt — a reverb that grows stronger as the night continues. It is an all-consuming pain, its depths endless. It brings tears to your eyes.

You carry this pain, as she does.

You feel it in your very bones, in your flesh and sinew. It’s an exhaustive pain, and as the night progresses, you find yourself incredibly weary. In a strange state of fatigue that won’t even allow you to sleep.

You may find yourself going in search of comfort amongst friends, or loved ones. To hold a hand, to embrace them — to not be alone in this pain you feel.

But it is a pain that is too great.

On these nights, you will find yourselves alone, without the comfort you would otherwise lean on. You will not be soothed by that comfort of others. For as long as the Aurora lasts, reaching out and touching others will bring real physical pain to you. It will hurt to touch others, and physical contact will produce a sharp biting pain, even for those who may not feel pain otherwise. Too much. It’s… too much.

Some of you were told once, in a dream: “Don’t you understand it now? We are all connected. The Aurora connects us.”

Once the lights in the sky fade, that pain will finally ease and the woman’s sobs will go quiet — but it will return once more, when the next Aurora comes.

FAQs

EXIT STRATEGY

1. It is entirely possible for NPC Interlopers to die in the mines due to electrocution, and players are free to use NPCs — we ask that players give mods a heads up so that the masterlist can be updated accordingly.


BRAVE NEW WORLD

1. The lower dam is currently completely physically impossible to access. The door that leads there is jammed shut. Characters will notice half-frozen water leaking on the floor around the door.

2. It is possible to find bodies in Lakeside, however there is a... suspiciously low amount of them, and the rare ones found by characters will have been there for some time. They will have appeared to have died of exposure.

3. Wolves can be found in Lakeside, and their tracks are incredibly common. Interactions with wolves can happen in the exploration of this region, and they will behave much like they did during the September event and be incredibly hostile to players.

4. Bears are also common in Lakeside, and their tracks can also be found. They technically should be still hibernating, and much like wolves — they will be aggressive towards Interlopers. Keep your distance!

5. Lakeside unlocking comes with a Companion Event of an Interation with a new NPC!

THE ECHO

1. Essentially: physical touch with others will bring Interlopers physical pain. Sorry about that.

2. It is possible for Interlopers with Aurora Call to attempt to reach out to the woman. Those interested can inquire into what that interaction may be like! They can find out what that entails here.

PLOTTING POST

Comments

[load_aim_shoot]

Raju's expression pinches, pulls awkwardly around the mouth as he stares at the ground and he curls up a little, fingers digging into the ground, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter."

This, and the— that day with the rifle at his shoulder, the metal under his fingers, the recoil pressing into the bruising there. And the way he'd felt renting rooms and filling them with his own books, uniform stored safely some place far away, the sun warm and bright on his face and waking too late every morning without a clenching at his insides or any weight over his chest. They're tied together. He remembers the rifle in his hand. He remembers falling to sit, everything heavy draining out of him while the man he'd beaten laughed.

"It doesn't matter what I felt. I want—" The words are tight and desperate. Sour guilt rises up his throat and he swallows it down, then swallows it down again. "I want— to work. To finish my work. I know I— It doesn't matter. Please."

He pushes the back of a hand clumsily against an eye, breathing harsh, then drags the hand down until his knuckles are pressing against his mouth. He wonders if Francis will ask him anyway. He knows he can't be making sense. But Francis had told all, hadn't he, the night Raju had asked. Raju can't ask him in return, no, or don't make me say those things. This night, that damned sound on the air, it's pulling all of it to the surface anyway. Raju couldn't stop thinking about it anyway, it doesn't matter whether anyone asked. But saying it out loud, hearing the betrayal in words, out of his own mouth— he can't. He can't.

[goingtobeunwell]

“It does matter, it always matters.” Now do people always get what they want? No dreams are guaranteed, no happy endings freely given. But it matters, because they’re human and they can’t not yearn and wish.

He wants to reach out to him, but something inside tells him it’s a horrible idea. Raju might combust on the spot, and the both of them would go up in flames together.

“Breathe. Breathe, and say what you need to say, Raju.”

He doesn’t know if this is the best course of action. He feels like he’s out of his depth here, and Raju deserves more than a fumble in the dark. He deserves — is it peace? Is it quiet? He doesn’t know, but Crozier needs the torment to ebb.

[load_aim_shoot]

Breathe. He tries to breathe. Say what you need to say. He tries to breathe, and tries to figure out what that is. It doesn't take long. He squeezes his eyes shut.

"I'm sorry." It tears out of him, breath hot against the back of his hand. He tries to murmur and the words just rasp instead, that kind of control too much to ask for now. His voice is as jagged and unsteady as the movement of the flames behind him. "I'm sorry, Baba. I didn't mean it. I want— I want to go back. I promised. I have to. I won't do it again. I'll fight. I know it doesn't matter. What it felt like. I didn't want it. I didn't mean to. Send me back and I'll still fight."

He hears his breathing, the heavy gasps, and hears the roaring of the flames. Behind his eyelids his eyes feel like they're burning. He'd started shivering at one point, not enough to notice it then but he can feel it now, a little, on every indrawn breath. He feels all of it. He waits. But when he opens his eyes he sees snow and slush and frozen soil past the thick blur over his vision, still curled over the ground of the place that he's been sent, the place that his failure sent him.

"Do you think he heard me?" Raju rasps, not looking up, to the man who cares anyway, somehow, who refuses to stop and leave. "The dead. Do you think they can hear us here?"

[goingtobeunwell]

The question is a punch to the gut after getting his heart knocked around by Raju’s pleading to the heavens. “If the dead can hear,” he says quietly, trying to breathe slowly to minimize the intake of smoke into his lungs, “then distance or time doesn’t matter.”

Baba. Baba…Father? Must be.

“Do you believe you were sent here?”

[load_aim_shoot]

He shuts his eyes again and feels something wet try to roll down his cheek, moves his hand to wipe it off hurriedly and opens his eyes. He swallows, and shakes his head before he’s had time to think too much about the question.

“That would—“ He stops for a moment to cough. His voice doesn’t come out any smoother after that, and sounds a little like it doesn’t want to come out at all. “That would mean we’re dead. Wouldn’t it? And the dead don’t come back. Not like—“

He breaks off to cough again, smoke rough in a throat that doesn’t even want to carry what it’s meant to. “Not like this.”

It would take too long. To be born again and grow up again, and try again— and how they would suffer, if he did. Uncle toiling in the ranks with only British orders left to follow, Seetha waiting, the old men and women and cousins all waiting, for either Raju to find them again or for the soldiers to. What would happen to all of them, in the meantime? How much suffering? And that’s assuming that’s what really would happen to him. That he would see his home again in their lifetimes at all. There are things that he’s seen, in this place—

“The books here.” Raju’s vision isn’t clear yet, but he looks at Francis anyway. He has to ask. His knees ache and he shifts back a little on the ground, the heel of his hand pressing at the centre of his chest. “The copyright date on all the books. It has to be some place else we were sent. Not Canada, not the… the living world. If that’s the year, it’s already too late. But it isn’t. We can’t be spirits. We can’t be dead. But what else would happen after death, for men like us?”

[goingtobeunwell]

He aches to grab his shoulder and hold onto him, offer him some measure of comfort besides his meager questions and outright refusal to just leave. All he can do is listen to the stream of consciousness from Raju’s lips, nodding along softly without interrupting.

When the pause in thought seems to be wide enough for an answer, he frowns softly in his own quiet contemplation. What does he believe? It could be some sort of afterlife, but he couldn’t say for certain.

He can’t say anything with certainty. “I don’t know what awaits me when I die. It may look this way, but having never died before…”

Crozier raises his hand to wipe the tears from Raju’s cheeks, but stops himself quickly and drops it back down into the snow.

“I wish I knew. I wish I had anything of substance to tell you. I don’t believe we’re dead, but we’re not in any place we know. Something in between, perhaps? Perhaps…perhaps not.”

[load_aim_shoot]

Raju takes one, two harsh breaths in through his nose, watching Francis. He nods a few times, swallows. It isn’t the answer he wanted. That makes it easier to accept it. Of course he doesn’t get to know whether anything he’s said tonight was heard by anyone it was meant to, or whether he’s ever going back, or whether remorse will ever count for anything at all.

He swallows again. That careful lack of assumption when just guessing would be easier, Raju had admired it in Francis the first time he’d noticed it. He admires it now. Even when it hurts. Especially now that it hurts, he’s grateful. His lips are trembling, which means that he’s about to cry— that he is crying, he realises, or was, or should have realised it before. He knew without knowing, thought about it without thinking about it. It’s hard to think, and it hurts, and he’s never said these things out loud before. He doesn’t know what the inside of him is doing.

Control. No amount of apologising to the dead or grieving the suffering that he’s going to cause in the living is going to do half as much good as action will, and action is no good without control, and control doesn’t come without work. He only has to try. Try harder.

Raju bows his head and hunches his shoulders, panting. Put it away. It doesn’t matter what he felt before, when he was able to forget. This is duty, and it always has been, and he’s borne the way that duty feels for the majority of his life before. His heart starts beating too hard again, and one hand presses down hard against his chest while both curl up into tight fists, and the smoke around him grows as the flames compress into themselves, into quiet, still and white hot things, and shrink. The smoke is thick in his throat and his shoulders start shaking with the coughing that he’s holding back, and he notices it without noticing, knowing only that it’s hard, that it doesn’t matter that it’s hard, or how difficult it becomes to breathe, or why his chest heaves with whatever’s inside of him. The smoke grows heavy and thick, and what Raju knows is what matters, that all that matters is what he has to do, that he has to it, and so he will.

[goingtobeunwell]

It probably wasn't the answer Raju was looking for, but lying for the sake of preserving someone's spirit hasn't gone well for him. In fact, it's made things much, much worse, compounded troubles and caused doubt among his men and fellow officers. He won't risk it, especially when a man's heart is at stake.

Raju seems to fold in on himself, the storm inside of him fighting with his very rational mind. He admires him for it, even if he worries that he's pushing himself towards more of a complete mental break.

Morfin asking that they put a bullet in his brain...

The fire stops dancing around them, the heat calming enough that Crozier thinks Raju might have succeeded in his hard-headed attempt at suppressing the inner turmoil. Then the smoke begins to rise, slowly at first, causing Crozier to bring his fist to his mouth to cover a shaky cough. He coughs again and then again, throat beginning to burn, eyes watering and stinging, and he realizes that if he doesn't stop Raju from doing whatever it was that's attempting they both very well may die.

"Raju! Raju, come back to yourself, man!" Raju may be close but the visibility is dimmed, and he grasps blindly for his shoulder to try a quick shake. "Raju, the smoke--"

[load_aim_shoot]

Come back to yourself, man! he hears and then something stabs into him, into five places at his shoulder and he draws in a sharp, reflexive breath, hand darting out to try to grab whatever'd done it, meaning to hold it tightly, and then he's coughing, heavy, heaving coughs that he can't ignore, his eyes are watering and burning and he can barely see in front of him for the smoke.

[goingtobeunwell]

The touch is met with a sharp pain that runs up Crozier's arm and ignites him like lightning. He gasps in surprise, but for the moment doesn't pull away. "Listen to me," he says through clenched teeth. "The smoke...too --"

Between the pain and the burning in his nose and throat, he can barely get a coherent sentence out of his mouth. "Have to move!"

[load_aim_shoot]

Raju doesn't understand the pain, he can't think and where it's coming from doesn't make any sense but he understands the urgency of danger so he moves, pushes himself up and staggers on numb feet, the stabbing feeling of his grasp on Francis' wrist making him grip even more tightly on instinct, because if something's making it difficult and painful to do that means that he needs to hold on. He pulls with pained noises making it out through his clenched teeth, between the coughing. The flames begin to flare a little brighter, but he doesn't know if the visibility helps. The danger's coming from him; it might not even be possible to get far enough away.

"Go!" Raju bites out, letting go of Francis to push at him. "I mean it this time!"

[goingtobeunwell]

The very real and very imminent danger is apparent to Crozier. He yanks himself away and scrambles to grab his parka to attempt a quick run of it. He doesn’t know what’s happening; did he catch on fire already? What was causing that tremendous pain?

His coughing is hacking and violent - bad for a person with still-tender ribs - and the smoke too much for him to even see now, so he guides himself by heat. The heat is less in this direction, more in the other, so he makes his choice and tries to get away from the inferno.

[load_aim_shoot]

Francis is gone, leaving finally— and the pain is, too. Raju braces himself on his knees, tries to breathe, tries to think.

The danger is coming from him. There's no reason to move and risk bringing fire and smoke closer to a man whose only sin is risking himself for someone he insists on thinking of as a friend. Francis doesn't understand the enormity of it, the people Raju's failed, the people he's hurt—

That isn't important now. Figure this out. Keeping all of it at a distance a moment ago had taken a herculean effort, but with the jolt of danger pushing the rest of it back it's easy. Easier.

The pain. That was new. When had it started? His eyes had been closed. But he'd grabbed for it, and he'd been holding... Holding Francis' wrist. And it had hurt.

His coughing is ugly, heavy, but the smoke is lighter. Raju doesn't know if getting Francis away had taken Raju far enough from the bulk of it or if the fire itself is easing out. It's not a matter of anyone else's safety any more, and Raju is sick of the guilt of worrying about it. The rest of the guilt is still there too, sitting like a stone, like acid, in Raju's stomach and his throat.

He'd only been touching Francis, the whole time he'd felt like something sharp tearing through him. It doesn't make sense. But nothing about this place makes sense. The influences this place has, there's something about that, something he's forgotten...

He tries to think. Tries to hold his coughing in long enough to listen for any footsteps moving away. That would be something, at least. Maybe something calming. At least one person who matters still safe.

[goingtobeunwell]

He has to stumble a fair distance away before the air is clean enough to breathe. His skin still feels hot, his clothes smoky and hair dusted with ash. He coughs and spits black soot from his mouth and then leans on a tree as he fills his lungs.

When he’s calm enough to replay the events that had just occurred, he pulls back the sleeve of his tunic to inspect his arm. No visible injuries, and it doesn’t hurt any longer for that matter. Just when he’d touched —-

Christ, Raju. He didn’t follow, did he? He wheels around to look at the path behind him, then hesitantly up towards the sky to search for a pillar of smoke. Just the smoke from where he’d stumbled away, and by god, he hopes Raju hadn’t stayed there. He starts back, legs heavy as he trudges towards the charred and still-smoldering site in search of his friend.

He doesn’t immediately find him, which is both a relief and then a tremendous worry. What if he was injured? What if he was still in that awful state? What if he died out here in the woods and added one more person to the dead, cherished friend list —

Crozier exhales a half-sob and starts following the other set of footprints in the snow.

[load_aim_shoot]

Footsteps in the snow— a noise he’s well used to by now. Coming… closer? It’s hard to tell over the flames and his own harsh breath. And another noise, a… sob? That doesn’t make sense. It’s hard to think, and Raju is sick of that, too. But he can prioritise.

He closes his eyes and tries to listen, picks a direction— and feet still numb from kneeling so long and clumsy from the socks and shoes he’s forgotten in his thoughtless rush out of that cabin betray him. He falls into what must have been a shrub before the fire got to it and is now ash scattered messily under him, and Raju grits his teeth, sick of all of it. Of one more in what, if this is an afterlife, never amounted to anything more than a lifetime of cruelty and failure and then this on top of it too, the failure to keep one man safe, when all he had to do was make sure Francis stayed far enough away from him.

He tightens his hands into fists, not caring how much more deeply the sharp edge of half burned wood against his palm bites into the cut it’s made there, and he pushes himself to his feet one more time, shaking the bloodstained debris to the ground and shaking the blood from his hand over the snow as he moves. His chest heaves and he spits blood into the snow and realises one in the pointless clamour of his body’s complaints is something bitten inside his mouth, and it doesn’t matter what. He doesn’t care.

What matters is finding Francis. He needs to call for him to do that but that can wait, he needs to be quiet first, to listen. Raju will start calling if that doesn’t work, as soon as he can pull in a breath without having to stifle his coughing.

[goingtobeunwell]

The footsteps are steady, unbroken, that's a good sign. It's a good sign -- until it the steps begin to waver, stumble, and then there's a wide circle of melted water and charred brush. And worse, so much worse, there's blood. He can see splashes in the snow like blots of ink, an amount that's enough to start fretting over as he begins to hurry up the trudged path.

He calls for him by name, then has to pause to cough, lungs still not strong enough to fight both the icy air and the soot. He repeats himself, calling and coughing, stepping over more droplets of blood, his own heartbeat pounding in his ears as tries to keep himself calm.

The more logical part of his mind wants to form a plan in case he finds Raju in a state, but he finds that he can't seem to focus. Thinking of Raju as anything but hale and healthy makes him want to tear his hair out in agony. He can't, he just can't do this again--

He thinks he spots an upright figure moving, but it's hard to tell one form from another in the darkness. "Raju!"

[load_aim_shoot]

Raju hears his name, but doesn’t know where. Again, and he doesn’t know where. Every part in his chest hurts, guilt and remorse twisting his insides into their own shapes, and not being able to push through it well enough to pinpoint the sound is making something about the pressure worse, but—

There. Finally, there.

“Franc—“ Raju starts, but what was meant to be a demand breaks into a fit of coughing.

“Francis.” His tone is harsh again even over the roughness of his mistreated throat, and the tone will have to do because he isn’t close enough to reach out and push Francis away yet. “Didn’t I say to leave?”

[goingtobeunwell]

“You’re bleeding.”

Never mind the rest! He clearly doesn’t care about anything beyond the fact that his friend is now injured, and still incredibly unstable.

“You can walk, mn? You need to walk with me now, we’ll find a clearing, we’ll…”

He can feel the heaviness in his heart now, that ache of grief starting to pull on him like an anchor. It’s oppressive, like the smoke, like the sobbing in the lights, and all Crozier wants to do is pull Raju into his arms and hold him.

“We’ll sit until the aurora’s gone, until it stops. Please.”

[load_aim_shoot]

Please. The word stops Raju short, his steps slowing. He'd been ready to lean on instinct, on the expectation that even an older, more experienced man will follow orders. He hadn't thought about it. Francis might not. Every man who'd used to be in his life would, except the ranking officers. But this man— there's a place where experience and intimacy intersect strangely, and Raju hasn't seen everything there is to see of him, but in moments, he feels like he's seen enough to map the rest. This doesn't feel like a man who pleads lightly. Not like this.

If I leave you out here and you die what do you think that'd do to me?

It's still an odd thought.

"I'll be alright." Anything harsh in his voice is all physical now. He's trying to sound gentle. He coughs again and again holds it inside, this time for fear whatever's bleeding in his mouth might alarm the man more. He's very aware, now, of the blood collecting in his loosely curled fingers, curling around and dripping down them. "But you have to go. I'm not safe to be near. Not yet."

[goingtobeunwell]

The blood is just around the corners of Raju's lips. It's his gums, he thinks, it's in his gums or his teeth or the bleeding's further down, internal, his lungs or his stomach --

"No."

He doesn't move forward, keeping their distance, a kind of compromise. "No, you're staying in my line of sight until all of this nonsense calms down. You're bleeding, and you're setting goddamn fires left and right, and you're my friend!"

[load_aim_shoot]

Raju's lips part to say — well, something, he doesn't know what — and his eyebrows pull together. That has always meant something else before. Not stay. Even Seetha...

The thought hurts. It hurts more as a memory than it had hurt at the time. At least, for Raju. But Even Seetha had known what had to happen. She only needed help accepting it. Accepting it was hard, but she still knew. Refusing to go altogether, refusing to see sense at all, Raju doesn't know what to do with it. There's something... something about it.

But it doesn't matter. Wanting doesn't change what's true.

"And I'm dangerous." His voice sounds a little desperate, knowing from before that this argument isn't going to work on this man. But it's the most important fact that Raju has. His hand rises to rub at the centre of his chest again. "I'm sorry, but it has to be done. You have to keep yourself safe."

It's all too strange. Too distracting. He's forgotten to prepare for the next inevitable cough, and a couple drops of blood drop with it onto a patch of snow. Whatever he's bitten must be near the front of his mouth. He grimaces, wiping the back of his hand over his lips.

[goingtobeunwell]

He, too, watches the blood drip down onto the snow. "So's a wolf, but I don't make a habit of feeding one," he says dryly. "I'm not going to add fuel to the fire." Not meant metaphorically.

"I'm going to keep watch, else I'm afraid you'll succumb to burns or exposure, and both things I've seen firsthand. Do not make me have to go through that again because you think this is the noble thing to do."

He needs to keep his argument watertight, and he glances around to find a spot that will be suitable for a bivouac in the middle of the night. "There, up the hill, I can see a few rocks. That's where you'll sit, and I'll keep watch from a safe distance away."

[load_aim_shoot]

A safe distance away. Raju's quiet for a moment. He can't argue with that even if he wants to, not in any way that will convince Francis to act sensible, and a sound argument is at least something to hold onto right now. Eventually Raju gives a few loose, tired nods, swallows, looks up the hill and starts to move that way. But he's forgotten, too, the extra work it takes in this cold to manage bare feet and he stumbles, reaches instinctively for Francis' arm to steady himself and then lets go with a gasp, jerking back and ending up on his side in the snow.

He doesn't bother to get up yet; he's panting, frowning at Francis' arm. At his face. "There's..." He looks at his palm. For all that pain just an instant ago, there should be something more than a cut wrong with it, even a deeper one. "You felt that. Didn't you? It wasn't just me."

[goingtobeunwell]

Instinct has him immediately reaching out once Raju so much as stumbles, and likewise there’s a harsh and sharp pain to his arm. He stumbles back with a very soft grunt, looking back at Raju with an equally-bewildered expression on his face.

Was it touch? How could this be?

“I felt it,” he says gruffly, rubbing at his arm. Raju’s touch never hurt before, no one’s had, thus —- “I felt it before as well. It’s…it’s the Aurora, it must be.”

[load_aim_shoot]

Raju's nod is slow, his gaze distant. "The other times too. That we touched. And..." He breaks into a cough against the back of his hand, and when it's finished his expression is tight, angry.

"These... these thoughts. And this, too, all of it, making us feel things that aren't ours. I knew it earlier, but I forgot. I should have tried harder to remember. I'm sorry Francis, I put you in danger, letting myself get, get... caught up in it. It's ridiculous. All of it's ridiculous. I won't let these creatures win."

His fist hits the frozen ground, and the distant fire flares, and he frowns fiercely up toward the spot Francis had picked out. "I'll do it again. Better this time." He pushes himself halfway up and then looks at Francis again, his determined expression faltering.

"I'm going to... to sit for a while. You'll be, um. Alright? In this cold? You took off your coat..." Raju looks around, as if he's going to just spot it nearby. They've gone some distance since then, and Raju doesn't know in what direction. Remembering Francis' lost coat reminds him of his own shivering, but he can't afford to focus on it. He'll have to focus soon on other things. But it's his fault Francis is determined to stay outside here, and Francis is older, his health surely more fragile. There's enough time, isn't there, to see to him first?

"I can't afford to forget again, that none of this is coming from me. But if you really won't leave, you'll have to be safe. Warm. You have to leave long enough to make sure you'll be alright when you come back. Do you understand?"