singillatim | august catch-all.

( bruce shows up.

because of course he does. he appears out in the middle of goddamn nowhere in a suit like that's normal for him to be out and about in, and with his presence comes a shitton of other problems jason has been working hard to avoid up until now. the fact he's, technically, been kicked out of the family again. the remnants of the memory of bruce telling him no more red hood as jason fought to try and remain conscious through getting his head bashed in a few times.

the whole thing about jason not being legally alive and having not been for the last several years. how he's part of the family, but also not; a ghost, a remnant of times long since past. he's their brother, but only when it's convenient for them. bruce's son, when having that arrow notched and pointed straight toward jason's heart proves to be a weapon worth wielding.

who the hell knows what jason's supposed to be now. bruce's own words put his timepoint as a little before jason's, before jason fucked up so bad bruce felt the need to beat the shit out of him while he tried to save his companions. but damian knows. damian knows what jason did. tim has a good idea of it. and it won't be long before jason finds some other thread to yank at until it snaps and pisses bruce off, again.

he's angry. upset. doesn't have any viable place to direct it to so he's here instead, sitting on bigby's porch with his back hunched over and a bottle of moonshine gripped in hand. he's not drunk. wishes he didn't have the foresight to realize how stupid letting himself indulge that much would be because jason would like to be. but milton isn't a place meant for letting go, and so jason's stuck sipping idly at the disgusting shit he's managed to scrounge up, hoping buzzed but not too tipsy'll have to do for now.

while, against his better judgment, he waits for bigby. )

Edited 2024-09-08 19:23 (UTC)

[ It's not really that rare to just stumble across Jason around town. Sometimes Bigby feels like the other stalks him for the hell of it is on random days, trying to catch Bigby at just the right time to harass him. It's surprising, the sort of things you can get used to when it happens to you often enough.

Jason showing up at his place is more rare. Especially like this. It's one thing for him to show up there when he knows it's the one place he can find Bigby, but this time Bigby isn't home. He's walking home from a hunt, two dead rabbits held by the ears in one of his hands as he's walking up to the house and only then spots Jason sitting there. Almost like he's waiting for him.

At first he figures it's just the other trying some new tactic, but..

.. wait, is that booze?

Bigby frowns with slight confusion as he makes his way up to his own home. ]

Tell me that isn't March's shit you're drinking. It's really not that good.

( it's not his fault he'd learned how to follow people when he was young. or it is a little bit, and maybe it's more his fault that he carries that talent into his adulthood, and even more that he subjects bigby to it, but - listen, everyone has to have hobbies. one of jason's is being annoying.

eyes look down to the bottle, before refocusing on bigby himself with an easy lift of his shoulders. )

Guy asked me to teach him how to fight properly, I told him I'd do it for liquor. An' it ain't all that bad.

( jason didn't need booze, didn't even really want it all that bad, but he's not doing shit for free. not for march. yet. he raises the bottle to his mouth for a drink, then pulls himself up to his feet. jason's steady on his feet, so he couldn't have had all that much. )

My - . . . someone who complicates shit showed up.

( or maybe he has, considering he's Talking. )

[ Well.

Shit.

That explains that, at the very least. And it's not like Bigby hasn't had arrivals show up here that complicated things, but he feels like Jason's problem isn't really in the 'girl I've had a crush on for forever' or 'future kid I didn't even know about' category, judging by how he's sitting here. Judging by the fact that he's even talking about it. To Bigby, of all people.

There's no way he's going to shoot that down. If Jason is talking rather than doing something inherently stupid, things are serious, and Bigby wants to take them seriously.

He moves closer to the door, opening it by shoving his shoulder against it, considering he's still carrying the rabbits in his hands. ]

C'mon, inside.

[ Because he doubts Snow and Connor are home. They'd never let Jason just sit here like a sad sack right outside their door and Bigby knows it. They'll have relative privacy talking in there. ]

You tell me about this person. [ So Bigby knows if there's anything he has to do.

Not that he's adding that part out loud. Jason would just get Complicated about it. Easier to just look after the guy - kid - in his own way instead. ]

( jason doesn't know why he's here.

why he's talking to bigby about it. it's family bullshit, and it's meant to stay within the family. hell. jason can't mention a single thing about bruce here without outing him. there aren't as many black-haired, blue-eyed middle-aged guys around milton for bruce to blend in with, and jason can't just say batman in the same sentence as red hood without giving that away either.

granted, it's not as if bigby even has a name for him yet. but he's given it to sansa so it'll get around at some point regardless. though it's possible no one here even knows to connect bruce wayne to jason todd. how many new arrivals were there during the last aurora? how telling is "my adopted dad who i almost killed that one time is here"? how far can he get away with "my brothers are here but our timelines are all fucked and one of them is waiting for me to lose my shit and try to kill him and fuck knows if i know what's going on with the other one"? how much of it does he even want to really--get into? it's not as if this is shit jason's finished processing yet, let alone shit he feels like processing with--this weird asshole who'd decided he's not going to let jason keel over. maybe it'd be easier if he feigned ignorance of the whole debacle. it's not as if bruce is going to publicly acknowledge jason's existence regardless - it's been a good handful of years since he came back to gotham, and outside of a few trips to fast food places and bars where he could remain nameless, he hasn't been seen in public out of uniform with any of them. jason doesn't exist; he's a ghost of their past, a black stain on their record.

his brow pinches together, but jason pulls himself up to his feet. moves to follow bigby into his house while running through the dozens of different ways he can attempt to explain any of this even if jason doesn't really want to explain, he wants - )

I just need to--stay the hell away from him. An' everyone else from where I came from. ( his free hand raises, fingers shoving through his hair to brush it back and away from his temple. ) They'll turn on me the moment he gives the order, and I can't do that right now.

( he's apologized to tim - again. in a way. he and damian haven't talked all that much here, but jason's already been pushed out more times than he wants to count. milton is small, there's no clear escape route he can take to avoid them when he inevitably earns their ire, and jason'll handle that about as well as he's handling bruce showing up and causing this mess to begin with.

he knows people, here. people completely unrelated to bruce. people who might not immediately take his side when they throw fists, but jason also knows that between the two of them, he's the one who always comes off as irrational. he's the one who can't help himself and always throws hands first. jason makes the messes, he always has. )

[ There's a reason why Jason is telling him all this, and Bigby isn't sure what it is. It's not like the other to talk - not going by a whole lot of their past interactions, after all. Jason will whine about stuff, sure. He'll throw tantrums. But speaking about something so seriously, and specifically seeking someone out to tell all of this to? That's new about the other to Bigby.

Which is why it takes quite a bit to figure out how to handle it. Jason always seems like some sort of feral cat - like he's always ready to flee at the slightest sign of something he doesn't like. And like hell does Bigby know how to handle situations delicately. He wasn't made for it.

.. then again, there is one thing Bigby did tell the other before, which makes it easier to repeat it now. ]

I won't let anything happen if that goes down.

[ It's not the reason Jason came to him, Bigby thinks. Jason is strong enough to handle himself, even seems to have some sort of weird masochism going on half of the time. But, fuck it, Bigby wants to say it anyway. Even if Jason doesn't have to hear it, he still wants the other to know he isn't alone in this place, no matter what happens. No matter who turns on him - because Bigby actually doesn't know who the hell that would be, which of the many people in this place come from the same world as Jason? Bigby will be damned if he knows.

(Especially when he knows so little about the other in general - being a relatively private person himself, it's not like Bigby to dig into other people's business unless it's relevant.)

He stops walking when they arrive in the living room, but Bigby doesn't sit down just yet, instead standing there and turning towards the other. ]

Why do you think they might start something?

I'm not a good person.

( it's not a question, it's not him asking for bigby to correct him, or anything of the sort. it's jason stating simple fact as he knows it: he isn't a good person. there are numerous times when jason has intentionally been his worst possible self. but he's like that for a reason. because someone has to be the bad guy. someone has to do what everyone else is incapable of, and if that's jason - then fuck it, he'll lean into it. but it's the bad shit he's pulled before he settled into that ominously bad but trying not to be the worst, especially when it comes to his family.

bigby stops in the living room but doesn't sit. jason - collapses into a heap on one of the couches. he's exhausted; the lack of sleep has been getting to him, along with the stress of what happened with the possible witch in the woods, the conversation with tim after, bruce showing up - he's tired, and it's starting to catch up with him. )

I've hurt all of them, multiple times. Almost killed Tim a couple times. ( the name drop isn't intentional, but at this point, he's too tired to give a shit. with as many of them showing up as there are, it's not as if they'll be able to sweep it under the rug for long. ) He didn't do shit to deserve it, but I was just so angry an' I took it all out on him.

( slit his throat. beat the shit out of him in his own tower. kicked his ass, again later on. told tim to work with him only to get pissy when he'd been denied. doesn't matter. point is: he's not a good brother, let alone a good ally. )

B's got a strict moral code. I don't agree with it. An' the moment I go over his line again, he'll get all pissed and try to fuck me over. The town's too small to ignore me, there's no goddamn asylum for him to lock me into this time, I don't know what the hell he'll try but I can't.

[ .. wait, Tim? Tim? The weird rabbit kid who seems to annoy everyone here all the time, that Tim? Of all people in this place to share a world with..

Not that Bigby has much time to think about it. Because Jason just keeps going, and-- yeah, it's a lot. Maybe not really in terms of what Bigby usually deals with back home, but that's different. Those are Fables. Most of them have lived for as long as he has, and they're used to situations most mundies can't even imagine. And while it's not like Bigby can know for sure just how Jason has lived, or what the world he comes from is like, the fact is that he's not like the people from Bigby's world.

He's just a mundy. And a young one, at that. Maybe not a kid by mundy standards, but sure a kid in the eyes of an ancient wolf turned human.

Bigby lets out a sigh that sounds so deep that it's like it's coming from his very soul, and at the same time he just allows himself to also drop onto the couch. ]

Listen.

[ That's unfortunately a very, very serious listen right there, Jason. An adult's about to talk to you. That kind of listen. ]

I don't care what you did, alright? [ Especially since he imagines most of the stuff Jason speaks of happened back home. Otherwise this mysterious B wouldn't even know about it. ] What we're not gonna do is just let people run around wildly here and do stuff to other people here like that just 'cause of stuff that happened back home.

[ Especially not to Jason. He's just a kid, for god's sake. And maybe Bigby is a little biased in this case to begin with.

Sue him. ]

Especially not locking people up in fucking asylums, which-- for the record, is super fucked up.

( it's the kind of listen he gets from bruce, right before he usually opts to stop listening because fuck people telling him what to do. but bigby hasn't pissed him off to that extent, yet. and he isn't bruce. )

I know you don't. ( it's part of why he keeps coming back to bigby: jason hasn't told him shit, but he knows that the guy'll get it. if jason opened his mouth and explained everything he did when he was angry - well. it's not like he went around killing innocents, they all did deserve it. he doesn't regret it. he does regret hurting tim, and damian, and dick. but that's part of what he's worried about. )

The asylum was my brother. ( not bruce. Bruce did leave him in there, which bothered him for reasons completely unrelated to being in arkham. it was the asshole he was sharing walls with, the laughter echoing throughout the facility. ) He knew they wouldn't be able to keep me in a jail cell. I'm not a lunatic, just trained too well. Couldn't tell you if it was the right move, but it was the smart one.

( bigby doesn't care what he did. why he deserved it. but jason cares. )

I told you I came back from the dead. But no one comes back right from that. I was so goddamn angry. I am angry.

( his head drops, elbow pressing against his thigh so he can shove his palm against his forehead and shove fingers through his hair. )

It's not about what I did, it's - what I will do. ( with a shake of his head, fingers tightening. ) I shot a guy straight through his stupid pea-brain-filled skull. An' I don't regret it. I'd do it again, asshole deserved it. Hell, I've done a hell of a lot worse before. That's the problem. Some people, some monsters, deserve to die.

[ Bigby has dealt with a lot of stuff in his life. He's lived a life that's far from what any ordinary human could imagine, really.

And yet this is new to him. He doesn't even know what to fucking do about it. He's sitting here with a guy that's young enough to fully be still a kid in Bigby's eyes, and said kid is talking about being put into an asylum like it's an okay thing. Just because he was angry. Just because he went through more than any mundy should have, and it doesn't sound like he ever got the support necessary to deal with that. And then things apparently just got gradually more and more fucked along the way.

What do you say to that? Bigby doubts that Jason came to him expecting actual advice. Maybe he just wanted to vent, but..

He can't just say nothing to do this, right?

Goddammit, he's going to need an entire carton of cigarettes after this. ]

So you're killing people that deserve it. [ God, does he sound like a therapist? He hopes not. He doesn't even feel like one, but he-- how does he even get through to this stubborn kid's head? ] I don't see how that's a problem worth treating you like that over.

( the difficult part about explaining himself here is that - jason can't explain this part. because some people do deserve death. there are monsters in the world who don't deserve to live, who should be put down, for the good of everyone else. he hunches over a bit, elbows on his thighs and head resting on a palm as he tries to figure out how the hell to word this.

gives up, because there's no good way to do it. jason understands bruce's reasons for being how he is. he's seen what happens when he decides to not follow his code. it's just not a code jason himself subscribes to. )

This ain't my first rodeo getting stuck in different universes.

( easy way to start. his head lifts, grabbing back onto the bottle he'd brought along with him to take a drink. )

Let's say - you're a vigilante, right? You put on a stupid mask and go 'round telling a bunch of criminals to fuck off and stop with their bullshit. But you've got a rule: no killing. Ever. 'cause you know damn well the moment you decide to start killing off the assholes who commit crimes, you're just gonna start killing all of 'em. Why stop with one death, when you can just put an end to every damn rogue out there? But you won't, 'cause you know better. You know once you start, you're not gonna stop. You take on a sidekick, then another, an' pass that same shit on to them. Then one of your little sidekicks goes off, gets blown up, dies, and comes back - what, four years later? After slaughtering a shitton of rapists, murderers, child traffickers, and taking over the entire drug trafficking ring in your city. A murderer, murdering other murderers. Therefore, another criminal, and it's your job to lock 'em all up.

[ That sure is painting a picture.

A picture where Bigby knows exactly where Jason fits in, given what the other has told him. He is that sidekick. The one that died, came back, started killing. Does that mean Tim was another one of the sidekicks? It might explain why he's so.. weird, really. Even if he's so different from Jason.

He could say a lot here, but he's said most of it already. That this doesn't change his opinion of Jason. Not even these words.

So rather than repeating that, he asks-- ]

Is that the guy that showed up here? That masked guy?

[ No name. And probably not wearing a mask in the middle of a town where it'd stand out. Hard to figure out who Jason is talking about, but at least it's something go on. ]

Yeah.

( bruce hasn't tried to put jason away in a while. he'd kept out of his hair for a long time, and when he'd come back, he'd - followed the rules. operated in gotham using batman's moral code as a guideline, up until he'd read up on what penguin did. it was stupid, and reckless, something he shouldn't have done at all but he doesn't regret it. asshole deserved a bullet to the face.

he only regrets how fucked it's going to make him in the long run. artemis and bizzaro needed his help but he was too busy getting his ass kicked by bruce to be of any use. and with what he did, on live television, batman can't just let the red hood get away with it. it's not like he's the joker.

the bottle gets raised to his mouth again, so jason can take another big swig from it. )

My dad. The one who'd adopted me, not the - shittier one.

Why the hell would your dad care if you kill people or not?

[ Maybe a strange question out of context. Or by normal people standards. But Bigby is the Big Bad Wolf, and he does come from a fantasy world with fantasy morals - the idea of killing doesn't seem like that big of a sin to him. The problem was never that he killed in the past as much as the fact that he killed for the wrong reasons from Bigby's perspective.

So-- ]

It's not like you're being a damn psychopath about it. You're just doing it to people who deserve it. [ Makes perfect sense to him! Sometimes it's just the only way to stop someone. ] I'm pretty sure Connor's killed too, and I don't give a shit about that, let alone making life hard for him because of it.

[ Bigby is frowning.

Mostly because the idea of someone giving Jason shit for it doesn't exactly sit right either, especially if the guy in question is claming to be Jason's adoptive dad. ]

Edited 2024-10-17 16:26 (UTC)

( why would people care if he kills people or not.

bigby asks it like it's such a strange concept: people giving a crap about something like murder. back in the alley, it was kill or be killed half the time. a dog-eat-dog world, full of things that go bump in the night just waiting to ruin you. it's where jason had grown up - learning to fend for himself, knowing he needs to make choices no one wants to be forced to make to survive.

before he'd gotten pulled into wayne manor. before the fancy galas, before he'd had a closet full of fresh clothes whenever he'd wanted them, an endless amount of food, and someone there to take care of him when he was feeling under the weather. he knows both sides well.

still doesn't know how to answer this though. or at least not well. )

How'd shit go for you? When you'd decided to be less big, bad wolf and more just - ( a hand, gesturing vaguely towards bigby. the whole of him. whatever that is. )

[ He huffs. ]

People hated me. [ A slight pause, like a realisation, and then he adds-- ] Hate me. Present tense, really.

[ It's why Bigby is so surprised every single time he runs into someone in this place who treats him relatively decently. He isn't used to it. It makes sense, considering a whole lot of people here don't really understand the implication of what he is, even when they know he's the Big Bad Wolf and all, but it's still weird every single time.

So he gets it. He gets why people would hate you for doing that sort of thing, but-- ]

But this is your father we're talking about. [ Bigby doesn't think his own father gives two shits that he killed people.

.. though for entirely different reasons. His father doesn't give two shits in general. ]

You didn't make it sound like you thought he was a bad guy before. So why would he treat you this way over something like that?

Edited 2024-11-03 18:49 (UTC)

He isn't a bad guy.

( it's jason who is. intentionally so. he's thrown away the rules more times than he can count and said fuck it, the world sucks, heroes can't be ideals and still get the job done. someone has to stoop down to the same level as the bad guys, and if that just happens to be jason - well. he can kill a monster and continue going about his day, it won't break him like it would break bruce. hell. wonder woman understands that sometimes, leaving them alive isn't an option.

bruce has chosen his hill to die on, and jason's not going to stop him from doing so. )

His moral code is just - more black and white than yours or mine is. An' it's fine. It just--makes shit like being stuck in close quarters harder to navigate.

[ Jason...

Bigby can't put his finger on what exactly the problem is that's going on here, but there's such an obvious problem with every single word the other is saying that Bigby has no clue how Jason himself isn't noticing it. It feels like it's staring Bigby right in the face. ]

Do you think you should be okay with whatever people want to do to you, just because their moral code is different?

[ Judging by Bigby's tone - look, he isn't a particularly subtle guy, and his eyebrows are definitely drawn together into a big worried frown at this point - he sure doesn't think so. ]

No.

( the answer comes quick, before jason has time to think over what he's saying, or what bigby's implying. his voice is firm, not leaving room for questioning around it because it's - jason grew up in crime alley, before bruce. grew up surrounded by people whose moral codes should have gotten them thrown in prison. many of them got their comeuppance, eventually. but not all of them.

except jason also gets where that leaves him with all the shit he's said about bruce. )

B's not a shitty guy. Alright? Hell, if anything, it'll be me losing my shit at someone here that messes everything up. He's not going to fuck me over for nothing, the problem here's me.

First time I've heard you say that.

[ Okay, granted, Jason has not always expressed very healthy sentiments. But it feels like the first time where it's dipped into this - where the other will blame himself so much for everything that he'll even accept the worst shit.

Even though Bigby's self image isn't always the most health thing either, he at least likes to think he wouldn't be okay with anyone locking him up in an asylum just because they don't agree with the things he does. Especially not someone close to him.

It's agitation and worrying all at once, but he's able to shove down most of the emotion, sticking to something a little more nonchalant on the surface for the moment. ]

Does that mean you're also okay with me doing whatever the hell I want to you? Or am I the shitty guy?

( he's quiet, for a moment. stuck between irritated bigby isn't getting it and wanting to bitch at him for his inability to listen while also understanding that what bigby's seeing here is - jason's side. he wasn't there when jason came back to gotham, he wasn't there the first time jason ran a blade across tim's throat, nor when he attacked him in his own goddamn tower, which - the lack of a statue bit, completely reasonable, he's still a little pissed about that. but beating the shit out of tim just for being tim wasn't right. the manic cackle when bludhaven went up in flames, when grayson could have been dead, when jason was hurting and bruce suspected he may have lost another son. almost killing tim and damian. he's seeing jason as he is right now, not what he could become the moment something goes wrong, not what he has been before.

not what he really is either.

so he drops it. puts down the bottle in his hand, and focuses his eyes on bigby instead.

raises a brow. )

You want to go a round?

[ Bigby lets out the exasperated sigh of ~~a parent~~ someone who has heard this often enough.

And yet it's not a rejection, despite the sigh. No, there's the sigh, and then Bigby turning his head to look over at Jason. ]

Not in the damn house.

[ Though the other surely knows that much. It'd be one thing if just Bigby lived here, but the last thing he wants to do is give the wrong example to Connor, or to piss off Snow. ]

Get your ass outside, then we can.

( it says a lot - how jason didn't just immediately start throwing fists as soon as the conversation turned in a direction he couldn't control. how he asked; he's trying, even if it's not quite as much as he should be.

because bigby sighs, and jason grins. tries to throw off how tense trying to talk through bruce's bullcrap had made him. he's a little tipsy, but not nearly enough to throw off his balance when he pulls himself up to his feet and starts towards the door. )

Weapons, or nah?

Definitely not.

[ Partially because Bigby really doesn't prefer those in the first place - it's part of being a wolf, really - but also because he doesn't really want Jason to use those when he's clearly dealing with a lot.

Some might not think agreeing to a fight is a proper way of letting someone younger than you work through this, but Bigby thinks it's fine. It's just better if it's weaponless, so he has a little more control over the situation than he would if Jason were to use weapons.

He slowly gets off the couch, as if he just agreed to something far more casual than a fight. Bigby even stretches, rather than heading out right away. ]

Turning into a wolf's fine though.

( boring, but fair. jason prefers his toys when possible, but when bigby gets himself up, jason starts sifting through his jacket to pull out the weapons he is carrying to drop them down onto the couch.

agreeing not to use them is one thing. sticking by it when he's throwing hands is something else entirely. but jason does recognize his own faults there. down on the couch is jason's kris blade, a few spools of wire, the couple batarangs he'd gotten off of damian, a few other throwing knives that were clearly hand-sharpened out of metal pieces and treated in a goddamn fireplace, rather than anything made prettily. )

That's your thing, not mine.

( even if he can shift now, and has when a situation called for it. )

august catch-all.

half of me has disappeared ( bigby ; closed )

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