i have given my confession to the snow } ＯＰＥＮ.

[extramuralise]

Who: John Irving (extramuralise) + OPEN!
What: Irving returns from Silverpoint, Bible study / seminary homeschooling, & various other occurrences.
When: throughout July (& possibly onward)
Where: Silverpoint, Milton & surrounding areas
Content Warnings: repression, religion, repentance etc... you know, the usual; will update as needed!

( closed & open starters! feel free to PM or plurk me @ reggiemantle for plotting, or just wildcard me something, babbyyyyyy! )

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[moralabsolutism]

[Rorschach leans forward, his elbows on the pew in front of him with his fingers laced together. It's a few degrees warmer in here than outside, enough so that for once he's taken off his gloves, revealing the pale and freckled hands below. He hadn't been expecting to get into a theological debate regarding his own personal doubts, but here they were, doing just that.]

I think you and I have differing perspectives on vengeance. Seems to me God's got a temper of his own given how many times his destructive wrath comes down upon people in the Old Testament. Sodom and Gomorrah. The conquest of Canaan. Even in the New Testament, Jesus chases overturns tables and chases men out of the temple with a whip. If He needs to act to stop wickedness in the world, why not make use of a man like me as an instrument to carry out His will? I'm no angel with a flaming sword but I get the job done.

[It's one of the few times Rorschach has acknowledged to anyone as still seeing himself as part of the human race instead of just some faceless ghost, half spirit and created more from legend than an actual solid figure made of flesh and blood.]

[extramuralise]

Because God does not will it— that is "why not."

[ Irving says this like it should be obvious, because at least to him, it is; after all, how many times does the Bible tell of God instructing man to love thy neighbor, to leave thy wrath to Him? Literally so many times! ]

I do understand how sometimes... [ Here he pauses, worrying briefly at his lower lip. ] Sometimes we may not quite... understand the grander method behind His plan, but we must still trust in it always; of this I am certain.

[ Though if he may not sound entirely certain... well, correct, actually: he isn't, really, only trying to convince himself of the fact.

Because just before he'd turned up in Milton, God had been sending a number of very, very mixed messages that Irving simply could not make any sense of no matter how hard he tried, but still he needs to believe that everything that happens — everything that has happened — is all for a reason, for some greater purpose mere mortals like him may simply not be capable of understanding, or else... well, what does that leave him with otherwise? ]

After all, surely you can't really believe that it is sincerely God's wish for you to be acting in his stead?

[moralabsolutism]

[It's enjoyable to debate theology (or anything really) with someone who is clearly so passionate on the subject. He regrets not speaking up in Bible study before. But then this isn't exactly the sort of subject he would have wanted all of those who turn up to those sessions to listen in on.

He thinks for a moment of how to put his point-of-view, the black and white thinking which has shaped all of his morals and helped him to run his life in an effective manner.]

His wish? No. But I do think he points me in the right direction and then lets me make my own decisions. Let me give you an example--and this is a true story by the way. Say you're walking in the middle of a city. The bad part. You hear a woman screaming for help. There, in an nearby alleyway, is a man holding a knife to her. But he doesn't want to rob her. At least not only rob her. He wants to do what we know the worst kinds of scum are capable of. You're the only one there on the street. So you can make a choice. You can walk away. It's not your problem and all you might get for your troubles is getting stabbed. Or you can intervene and try to help. I don't think God wants me to walk away from situations like that. I'd be no better than the filth that I stop in that case. So I don't.

[He looks over towards Irving to see what he has to say on that hypothetical situation.]

[extramuralise]

[ The hypothetical causes Irving's lips to prim into a thin, taught line, his pallor paling faintly greyish in the dim, cloudy light cast through the streaky windows. He opens his mouth to respond, but then just as quickly closes it again, standing there in silence for several tense, troubled beats. ]

That's different, [ he says finally, speaking a bit quickly. ] Naturally. If someone is imperiled then of course one must intervene at once to provide aid, however—

[ His jaw clenches, teeth grinding briefly. This example has clearly appalled and discomfited him. ]

H-however, that is still not vengeance, it is simply extending much needed assistance to those in urgent need who cannot defend themselves— helping thy neighbor, which we are empowered to do.

[ Irving takes a breath, releasing it slowly and raising his gaze grimly. ]

God shows us the path, and we make our own decisions from there, yes. It is that very thing which separates the moral from the wicked: our capacity for freewill, which allows us to decide whether or not to act in the interest of righteousness or to leave others to their suffering.

[moralabsolutism]

[Now they're getting to the crux of why Rorschach had come in and is asking the questions that are weighing heavily on his mind.]

I learned a long time ago that most people won't act to help others. Even when they need to. When I was young, there was this young Italian girl who came into the shop I worked in. Kitty Genovese. Disliked a dress she'd custom ordered. It was made out of this material.

[He gestured to the mask that served as his true face. He's never told anyone this much about his past in Milton, that one of the parts that he considers to be so intimately part of his identity was inspired by what had happened to a young woman, and the impetus for why Rorschach had started his vigilante career in the first place.]

Saw in the papers later on she was raped and stabbed to death. Thirty-seven people saw or heard what was going on. Not one stopped to help or prevent her murder. I decided after that to start acting to save others instead of waiting for justice to be doled out fairly. Because life is not fair and those who are helpless shouldn't have to rely solely on the police to turn to in order to find protection.

[extramuralise]

[ It is not so much the truly grotesque nature of the crime which causes Irving's nose to wrinkle — although certainly, that is not not a part of it — but rather, the mathematical conviction with which Rorschach cites the statistics of the case: Thirty-seven people saw or heard what was going on. Not one stopped to help or prevent her murder.

Numbers simply are, and have always been, much easier for Irving's mind to home in on than specific examples of mankind's bottomless capacity for evil, so perhaps it's no wonder why he should choose to consider that number — 37 people — first, rather than give his brain any more time to absorb some of those far grimmer details, such as what was actually done to the poor girl.

(But then, a man who was himself stabbed to death likely wouldn't want to dwell upon such things any more than strictly necessary.)

How could the papers even know about the number of witnesses who did not intervene? Proving a negative such as that would be next to impossible, surely. This is far from the only thing that is troubling about the story, of course, but it's the only conclusion thus far he feels equipped whatsoever to draw, either. ]

I said nothing about policemen, or any other forms of law enforcement, for that matter, [ he remarks primly, at length. ] Because all men are fallible; selfishness, cowardice, and iniquity being strictly mortal traits, and not of the divine, so God's wrath remains nonetheless distinct from what we as men understand to be legal justice— let alone vengeance.

[ ... Which is not to say he at all disagrees with the essential sentiment being expressed here, though, but perhaps only much of that which has seemingly influenced both the perspective and conclusions that appear to be behind it. ]

As are both quite distinct from whether or not one chooses to assist someone who's clearly in need.

[moralabsolutism]

[Rorschach turns to look at Irving more fully, shifting his entire body, which is really the only way one can ever tell if Rorschach's eyes are actually on them, covered as they are by his mask. Well, except for Louis, who always somehow seems to be able to tell when Rorschach is watching him. Maybe it's a vampire thing.]

'He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth; with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.' Sound familiar? That's how I choose to look at things. Shades of grey aren't something that I see.

[At least not what he wants to see. The mask he wears makes a lot more sense now. He sighs, the first physical sound he's made to indicate he's not just some random ghost that's decided to take up residence in the church.]

My purpose here in this place isn't so clear as it was back home. Not when we've all had to do terrible things to survive. I do my best to protect others but...I guess I came here to talk to God because I wonder if what I'm doing is making a difference.